When university started I was finally disappointed in life. People are heartless and rough. But the root reason I think was pmo. I was already a heavy consumer of that shit. Yeah I’m finally saying pmo is a heavy shit. I felt low those days. And to distract, sometimes I went to smoke hookah. I had enough pocket money to smoke once a week. But then I started to want more.
I turned from casual student to home thief. I was taking money from moms safe box. The reason was not completely in hookah. The problem was I wanted to run away from home, from parents control and to communicate with people there. People who are free and make their business.
A couple of weeks ago I told mom I’m going to walk with my friend. But I went to hookah bar. Unfortunately the connection was bad there, and she couldn’t reach my phone. So she called my friends mom (unfortunately they know each other) and found out I’m not with him. Then she called me home. Whoops! I had to take taxi to home. She asked me to help her (she wanted to find out the truth). I told her my friends waiting me outside, because he really was. Then I met him, told everything, and asked to conceal the truth.
Next day she closed me in the kitchen to ask what really happened. I told him I was at local post office. I’ve heard that I was kicked out from university and I got a mail. I was really kicked out, but 4 months before and preferred to stay shout. I pretended that I was worried and couldn’t tell the truth about being in post office. But I lied again why I was kicked.
Only today my mother noticed money missing. I pretended to know nothing.
I’m the worst person not only from who I know, but also from the list I’ve read in the books and saw in the movies. I’m the worst egoist. And I really don’t know how to live next.
First thing is to accept the mistakes you made, it’s the hardest an it takes courage to say something like that about your self, the second thing is to speak with your family about you mental health, amd the third is to act. You might be an egoist, but that doesnt mean you are going to be 1 month from now… Small steps and you are going to become the best version of yourself. But first you have to actually try, try hard fail, and try again, don’t let your self cut porn maturation, hookah and everything bad for your life, focus on exercise, healthy diet, improve your personality, and on your future, your mom loves you, and that’s enough believe me… From then you can do everything man… Stay strong
Don’t let your self. Cut porn* I’m sorry I was in a rush
Little confession is a good start.
I like your change in topic also.
Don’t know you are serious or just messing around .
For toxic ego
https://www.google.com/amp/s/medium.com/amp/p/32a0bd2c0932
Well the confession was not only here. I managed to become brave enough to tell my mom about everything, including my addiction, my depression and thoughts.
She forgave me everything. She told me that she gave everything for me to be born and that she’s ready to pass through hell with me. I’ve never felt such strong love in one sentence…
If you really did that then I give my respects.
I mean this is the main step you crossed .
But it doesn’t mean that you are now free but the opposite now you have to prove your mother , yourself . And it is going to be really tough.
If need help you can msg me .