I Feel Hopeleless,yet i want to be free(Confession)

[John22]

its been nearly 10 years that i have been pmoing, all these years i have lived a life of lies and secrets. Till today nobody knows about my addiction, most dont even guess.
I feel alone,i dont have any friends either,i feel insecure all the time and i feel hopeless. No matter how much i try to quit i just relapse further. Sometimes i feel like my body and brain has been accustomed to pmo so much that i feel like i cant live without it.

Years of living a lie, i feel so much guilt and remorse yet i cant quit. I get addicted all over again. I dont know myself anymore, sometimes i feel like i am just a waste of life. I feel afraid, i cant look and talk confidently. I get anxious and nervous whenever i am in public, i feel like people know that i am disgusting ,i feel like i am being watched.

I turned 24 this year, yet i havent accomplished anything worhwhile. I quit my studies in 2018 because i was pmoing so much my mind and screwd up. currently i am jobless, no friends living in my parents house where i constantly feel like i am just a burden to them.I dont know any purpose in living life and i am too coward to end it, it feels like suffering never ends. Sometimes i wonder how would my life would be if i never knew pmo.Its honestly so much disgusting but i cant seem to control my habbit. In fact i am becoming more and more addicted.

Nowadays i dont find any excitement in usual P,unless it consists of some taboo element or violence. I feel like at this rate i will just become crazy, sonetimes i cant sleep. fear,anger,envy,regret all these emotions come unleasing at odd times.I feel like theres no point of stopping

Its been years i have been trying, i have been using this app for 2years yet i am addicted or more than before.I have found advices yet i cant seem to follow them.

I am confessing here, i had posted here before because there is noone in my life that i can confess to. I also feel guilty that i have abuses my body for this long in turn harming myself. Even if i dont know about , i am guitly of sinning against God. No matter how much i try to conceal it i have a feeling i am sinning.Its like my conscience is trying to warn me everytime i pmo.

Lastly, even though i feel falling i want to be free of pmo, i dont want to love this life of guilt,shame regret.its immoral and pathetic no matter how much i try to make excuses.

[anon67854825]

I’ve been here 2 years as well, but you have much more life ahead of you.

I didn’t even start Nofap until I was past 30yrs old, or thinking about God until I was in my late 20’s.

You may think you are hopeless, and more addicted, but I see the opposite in your words.

I’m not here to try and convert, I don’t know your faith, or denomination, but I think it’s worthy to consider going to Catholic confession regularly. If you wanna know more about it, how it works, and if you’re allowed, please ask me. You may be surprised and find something that will help you in your journey out of the pits.
Please don’t hesitate to msg me.

I also want to share Leo Buscaglia with you, we need wise role models and teachers

Give Love, Leo Buscaglia in Niagara Falls

[DylanMartins]

you are still young, think of all the good things that are yet to come in your life. Don’t face an application as a problem, but as a learning experience in your life. I know you are strong, you can do it. when you feel like relapse, you will remember your story and you will know that this is the time to change it and you will create strength to cheat your addiction. You already know your body, now it’s time to see the world. know that God is too.Thanks for sharing your story with us, it was a very real account of the consequences of addiction and the problems caused by him.Grato!