I just overdrafted my bank account prob for hundreds of dollars just for ■■■■. I ruined my credit score just to pay for ■■■■. All i do is masturbate and look at ■■■■. I can’t even talk to women right. I’ve always been a sick perverted freak though for as long as I can remember. Even before I found ■■■■ I was a creep (this was in grade school fml). I feel horrible. Worst part is i prob wont do anything about this? Why can’t i just die? I hate this. I’m too much of a ■■■■■ to just kill myself and i don’t have the drive to improve. I’m just looking to complain about my fuck ups. That’s all I ever do. I’m 22 and im still doing this same shit. Masturbating until my peter is swollen and breaking and bleeding and stinging. My health has gone to shit too. Although I lift and may not look unhealthy internally nothing fucking works. Im so fucking pathetic i could be saving for my future but i spend all my money on fucking adult content that isn’t even worth the money. I am a terrible person too, I am selfish, a bad friend, and a liar. All i do is wear masks and act i am nothing i never have been anything but a copycat. I suck. Maybe all i deserve is death. I have not made a single good contribution to this planet. If anything I have only made people’s lives more stressful.
Don’t be too harsh on yourself
No one’s a saint here. We are all on the same page. Do not use demotivating abusive words for yourself. You still have a lot lot of time to change. You are just 22. Young enough to transform your life completely Step by step one at a time.
And Yes. Try not to spend money on prn content. If you feel like the urge to spend and watch, better donate the money to the destitute and poor people in your locality. Helping the needy is million times better than spending money for a venomous industry. The satisfaction you will get from this is immense
Or if you are Religious, donate to your Religious Institution near you. Pray to god that god release you from this cage and let you free
You are NOT alone in this fight. Don’t feel disheartened. Don’t scold yourself
And yes
Dying is easy
Living and Transforming is difficult . But worth trying
If you really feel that you are strong enough, try living and transforming. Forget dying
Do not think that suffering would end after death, i have heard that those who do such act, they are born as animals in next birth, tied to a chain and man beat & abuse them.
Hence, use this golden oppurtunity to free yourself from circle of birth & death.
Leave this illusion of pleasure which always lead you to hell. One way is to believe in god & walk on a set of disciplines which would make u strong enough to fight.
Hey man, you need to understand It can‘t be this easy to just vent, its another way of running from problem.
Let me see you work on it here in this forum, even if you fail a million times, I am here to see you no matter how much you relapse.
I won‘t doubt you, just show me you got the commitment to change.
i don’t think i ever will change. please dont place any kind of faith in me. it’s been over 7years and i am still the same.
Its been 9 years for me, & still the same but i havent given up, i am finding solutions, trying different methods each year.
You can read my journal. I have taken extreme measures to prevent a fall. I was a scientific person but now i have become spiritual just to avoid a relapse. So, you should also try different methods, delete apps, quit certain food items, make a good routine, focus on a ritual & soon the rise will start.
It just takes 21 days to get back our sexual energy. Hence, reach at this point anyhow. Then,when u experience the magic of sex energy, you would crave it more & more.
I can relate. I’m older than you and still struggle with this. Yes, it is bad but at least you’re here and wanting to make changes. There are many people online who don’t care about trying to quit and even mock forums like this. So, you’re doing better than them.
Ppl do change.
Stay strong brother.
We are here for u.
I can’t stop spending money on content. Content and women. Im in credit card debt and i owe money to cashapp. I’ve also chocked the chicken until it hurts. I feel terrible. I don’t understand why i struggle so much. I’ve tried quitting cold turkey and i just go back. It makes me want to just give up. I feel horrible. Honestly it feels hopeless. Even though I work and work out, I still do this. I’ve been this way since childhood. I got a kid in trouble because I was watching stuff i shoudnt have been and blamed it on that kid on top of many other things. I truly am horrible. I wish I wasn’t like this.
Are you tackling this problem with the same plan? or Are you learning and adapting your plan as per your need?
I haven’t done either of these things. I don’t have a plan. Been thinking about just going cold turkey.
I think you need to face reality here.
You are ruining the possibility of a better future, yes. You can consider that as ruining you life.
HOWEVER!!! The point of Nofap, rewire or just simply changing is to open the possibility of a better future. You fucked up. We all fucked up. I feel everyday how I fucked up. How I ruined my opportunity of my own family. BUT! That is not the end of it all. It is just the current present. But present can change with every minute, every hour, every day. Build up your minutes, hours, days into something better. It’s up to you!
I’m a professional self hater 
I know how you feel. But one of the steps on building the option for a better future, for a better self is to leave shame behind and start loving yourself more. Until you have breath in your lungs, even if you ruinded everything, the oportunity to change will always be there, because it always will be up to you, your internal decision. Don’t give up!
Man I don’t know why I resonate with some parts of your story. I actually paid Webcam girls for certain things I remember how it was starting to become addicting. And the workout yeah, it helps but you need more like delving into your own spirit. Cleansing negative stuff from your soul. Stay away from apps that trigger you, I had to do that eventually, it sucks but you will be okay. Do it 