There’s this girl on whom I had a crush in my childhood which has now turned into lust. I don’t want to indulge in a relationship because I have other dreams. I want to become a theoretical physicist therefore I want to spend all/any of my time studying. However, whenever I think of her or see her I start getting very strong urges and loose my concentration. Thereafter, I really don’t feel like studying.
I just don’t understand how to manage them. I need help! Please.
why not becoming a physicist while having a girl? There is still enough time for learning.
I know many people having a girlfriend while being in grad school (they study applied math or theoretical physics)
If I look around at my university there are many professors who have a wife and children and still belong to the best physicists.
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I’d have one when I attain my goal but until then I want to divert all my focus on my studies. Thanks for the advice.
I know it sounds strange but stop looking at her, stop giving her so much attention.You said that you have other plans so do them.It would be hard at first to withstand the power of your feelings,but you have to stop yourself.Distract yourself from her and start doing other things.I will give you three examples.
First is of me when I was seventh grade(2015-2016).Then I learned about porn.Before it,I was masturbating,but on whenever I saw or was thinking about feet.Over time my interests grew more and more twisted.I started watching videos about womans around 30-40 years and was thinking of having sex with them.Then I fell in love with my math teacher.I wanted to make love with it, but I have never said it to her.I had become shy and fat addict, which didn’t liked contact with other people and hated sports. But three months on village without Internet helped my twisted mind to be healed partially.I even started doing morning gymnastics and have lost some weight. I stopped thinking so much about old woman and started thinking about having sex with girls on my age or about 20-30 years old.
The second time I fell in love(or in lust)was when I was eight grade(2016-2017)I didn’t knew about Nofap.I learned about it at the end of that school year(2016-2017).I was in other school(Mine was till 7th grade) At first, I was watching only pornography and I wasn’t thinking much about girls.Then I looked with lust about the girls in my class to befriend them and then to make sex with them.I started looking first in other classes, then I started looking for girls in my class.We were and still are 18 girls and 9 boys.I first liked one girl that was blond and I talked to her usually.Both she and I were new on that school.But she moved in Sofia,the capital of my country.She never revealed what I have been going to do with her.I am glad that she didn’t uncovered my secret. After I fell in love with other girl.Her name was Nia.But before having relationships with her I thought that I must get perfect.To doing so, dirstly I started the strange abstaining from my phone.I stopped going with it in bathroom.And I also stopped watching porn on it(but I was still masturbating). I stopped using my phone for more than month.I stopped using it for searching in Internet.Then I started again. Anyway,secondly I trained hard and I had become of normal weight again.Then I told her that I love her.Everyone was shocked.She pretended to be liking me, but she only wanted to see what I would do for her.I was doing everything for her.But she didn’t liked me.I realised that and I thought she doesn’t like me because I can’t say r sound(“Р” sound in Slavic languages, which is actually the hardest sound to pronounce and most children couldn’t do it until age of 5.)I started working and for four months I succeeded(February-May).While I was working on my dislalia(дислалия, unability to say Р sound) I found Nofap.I liked the idea of working alone as I learned to say that sound alone with logopeds book I have.I was thinking of what I could do with my willpower.I learned that there are better things than having sex.Anyway,when I showed my new ability to my class, nobody was surprised.That wasn’t the reason others don’t liked me.So I stopped caring about other peoples opinion.I started hating that girl for using me and I was thinking about getting a revenge.One day she was laughing on my friend, when he wasn’t around.There weren’t boys in the room.So I shouted at her.She didn’t expected it, so she left me.The year ended and I started my Nofap journey while a was on summer vacation
Lastly, the third example.After I started Nofap, I changed considerably. I stopped think so much about girls.Then the next year came.I wasn’t prepared for contact with the girls and I relapsed many time after seeing them.After some time, a new girl called Ioanna came to our class.I again fell in love with her, but I didn’t revealed it to her.I was fighting with my mind about whether I love her or not.Then I defeated my mind and became lord of myself.That time I made my biggest streak- 42days.
I learned that love ruins your biggest dreams.You start giving too much attention to girls and stop thinking so much about yourself.You are the most important thing.You must firstly think about what is good for you and then what is good for others.I am never going again to love someone.Nobody won’t make me great and successful!Nobody will make me an astronaut!
P.S.I think you would find the answer of your question in my answer.Lust is overcomed only with patience and durability.
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Thanks brother.
Your journey’s motivating and shows that your path is right. I suppose, it’s when you do not get distracted and stay focused on your goal is when your brain when your brain has truly rewired itself. That’s a long way to go but I am prepared to tread it.
Btw, being an astronaut used to be my deam as a child(as every child) 
How long until you are in space?
Maybe I was too extreme in my thoughts and that leaded me to a relapse today.Never think about what you have done,brother.That will lead you to a instant relapse.But most things I am speaking of are true.Sorry for the big text,but I wanted to give you motivation to look forward.
For the cosmonaut dream,I am only 16 years old.I am first going to become a military pilot.Then I will train and study to become an astronaut.My country(Bulgaria) didn’t have any cosmonauts since 1988.And it is not in any space agency.But I hope that Bulgaria will become part of ESA(European Space Agency).Then I could go to space.But I want even more.I want to go to Mars.It is almost impossible that to happen, but I must try.The pornography and lazyness are the only things that actually hinder me.
I also have to ask you something. What a theoretical physicist does?
This one is gonna be long! If you want to turn, turn right away. (LOL)
Sorry buddy, I couldn’t answer earlier. It was because of today’s tight shedule. I had to attend my classes and then there was some project work to do. It is true that whenever you think about how far you’ve come, you move towards a relapse. I face it frequently. Nevertheless, I am going strong in this streak and plan to reach 60 days.
I feel, once you become proud of yourself you loose the motivation to continue and settle for the step you’ve reached. It is true for anything.
I’d like to give you a piece of advice. Never be proud of yourself until you’ve attained your goal. It so often leads me(and my studies) to a downfall. I believe it’s how you can overcome laziness and reach the earth’s orbit (possibly mars too).
We’ve got enough time to be who we want to be( I too am 16 yo) ,we better not waste it.
For the question you asked, Theoretical physicist try to explain nature and the laws governing it. Theoretical physics is based on true theory (generally no experiments are done). Albert Einstein developed ‘Theory of relativity’ as a theoretical physicist. Quantum mechanics and String theory (closest to unified field theory) belong to the realm of l theoretical physics.
So, basically I want to change and refine the way
humans understand this universe. 
It feels good to talk to you, man. If you could give your sharing code, we could beat this addiction together.
My code-7b48bd
teach your mind that it’s completely foolishness to do.
My code is 0716ca. As we both are students,I have to ask some things.First,what you do during your summer vacation and how you cope with too much free time?I learned that I can’t get big streaks while doing nothing.My second question is how your fight with the addiction affects your studies.Lastly,do you experience fever after you relapse and have you been getting ill more usually since you started Nofap(like me)? Thanks for the help in advance! We, students must support ourselves.
If your thoughts about her are just pure lust, probably that’s not going to end good, because you’re being driven by your addiction. If you are in the middle of rewire that’s going to take time, but once you’re brain is back to its normal self those thoughts will go away.
Is it possible for you to take distance from her? If possible do it. Be aware that trying to repress your bad feelings/thoughts would not be helpful at all. If you can write them down, everything you feel, pour it out, don’t worry, if you don’t want anyone else to read it, you don’t have to show it to anybody.
You could also take deep breaths every time those thoughts come to your mind, and empty your mind. If in that moment your doing something important, think to yourself “In this moment, I’m studying/In this moment I choose to study” over and over again while you breath. It may take some minutes and a few tries but believe me it works. Give it a try a few days.
I hope that helps. If you believe you can achieve your dreams, you’re half way your journey.
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Added you.
Talking about myself, I don’t have much time to spare during the working days. I’ve been following a tightly packed timetable, which I made a few weeks ago. It allows me to get as productive with my time as I can get. Following a tightly packed timetable can be a real pain in the ass. But then it’s all about discipline. I think that following a timetable can be helpful in fighting addiction while studying. I neither have fever after a relapse nor have I been getting them since I started my ‘no fap’ journey. In my opinion, they are just temporary and will fade away as you move forward.
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