How to navigate the no fap journey in a long distance relationship?

question
relationship

#1

Hi, so i just wanted some tips and advice - I am in a stable long distance relationship, but I felt the pmo was ruining the connection. So after multiple failed attempts, I am motivated to do nofap.
However, being in a long dist relationship, what to do when my gf sends some naughty pics or a phone sex type of conversation. Rejecting her creates a negative effect. Anybody with similar experience please help me out.


#2

Tell your girlfriend the truth. If the pics overwhelm you tell her what they do to you. It’s fun to play along but if it works against your goal you have to find another way to keep your relationship alive.

If you can open up to her then mention to her what the pics make you feel like doing. It may be awkward but your personal goal of nofap is more important. It affects everything in your life.

I can’t be more compassionate about this. I don’t know if this would be difficult for you but my suggestion is just that. It might mean nothing or something. Good luck with your girlfriend. Hope you figure this out.

Let us know how this turns out too. :crossed_fingers:


#3

I am meeting my girlfriend in about 140-150 days, for now I have kept that as my nofap goal.

I think it will be better to present it as a necessity for showing my fidelity to only her also.


#4

I seriously suggest not going into details, or even getting into philosophical discussion about it.

Personally, if it were me (and I’ve been in several long distance relationships in the past)

I wouldn’t worry or turn her down,
I wouldn’t encourage or ask for pics etcetera…
I’d be grateful, perhaps not keep them,
if she asks about them, then that is the time to say something truthful, like;
“of course I love them, but I’d prefer the real thing lol”

Remember she is probably doing it to please you, make you happy and keep you interested.
(I’ve been in relationship recently - she just presumed I look at prom, because all guys do)

So you need to convince her she doesn’t need to worry.
Make a ‘light hearted’ joke about yourself.
You need to show her you are a real man, able to laugh at yourself, be compassionate, strong with your own sense of purpose without resorting to just ideas.

I’d avoid talking about this ‘amazing NoFap’ journey, But Act as “The Truth”

And perhaps say, I quit prom, keeping it realistic.

Remember NoFap is a bit of weird cult to outsiders, so I wouldn’t even mention it.

And if I do mention it, I’m very light hearted about it, and can be laugh at/and be honest about myself - but it’s usually guys I chat to about it.

She might have a prom addiction, so I’d take it easy with ideas.
Everybody has got ideas about this and that.

NoFap shouldn’t be your identity, only a tool.
We don’t spend all our time talking about tools, but the things we use the tools for.

I could talk about guitars, but I’d rather talk about music and how it makes me feel, or what the subject of the story might be about.

I wouldn’t talk about NoFap, I’d talk about how not looking at prom I’ve done other things, and my mind has become clearer.

I’d lightly talk about the amazing neuroplasticity, our amazing brains, and scientific discoveries into the brain, and be grateful for the amazing possibilities.

Anyway, sorry if I’ve written to much.
I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

Wishing you wisdom, grace and peace!


#5

That is true! :joy:
And thanks for the new perspective.