How do I deal with Flashbacks
Whenever I am studying or doing something stressful, I get Flashbacks randomly about some depressing and emotionally exhausting moments which happened in the past
It fills me with shame and guilt
I don’t know why
But this has been happening since long back
Every time it happens, I feel completely devastated and
It demotivates me
It makes me seek distraction in electronic gadgets
And as a consequence I waste a lot of time
Would be happy to learn how to tackle it from someone willing to share useful insights in this regard
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Don’t take flashbacks seriously bro. They are part of this journey and the most important thing they are temporary. Learn to be happy even in your saddest of times. If you’re getting too much flashbacks try meditation , breathing exercises & Prayer.
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Okay 
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on an added note- remember that rewatching ■■■■ will not satisfy the flashbacks, it will just make them more concrete and harder to get rid of.
The less is watched the better. flashbacks are like the death throes of the PMO beast. when it has no sustenance it will die.
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You are just living in your thoughts brother if you want to stop it then start living in present and for that find the pleasure in your daily life instead of watching corn or overthinking.
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I Agree
Even I wish the same
But its difficult to control the mind
While doing a stressful activity like studying, any random word or something in the book triggers a completely different level of traumatic instance which happened several years ago, say for instance 5 years ago
Its not like I am wanting to re-live all the past things once again
Its just happening involuntarily out of control
And I am helpless
Nevertheless I got used to these things
Even if some random past memory is triggered , I still feel the same shame and guilt but wouldn’t stop studying or working and just continue with the work
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Yeah true.
In my case, If I seek a few minutes of distraction in mobile to avoid the mental pain, I start doom scrolling
Hours And Hours will pass
And I will be scrolling through News; regional, national and geo political, which are even more depressing and the cycle continues
One leads to the other
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I must admit that I do have PTSD
PTSD induces severe anxiety and worry in me
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And its not like this condition was with me Recently or few months ago
I can vouch that I am suffering from this since mid teen age like 16 years old
From that time till few years back, I wouldn’t even know that I am actually having a mental health condition ( because of lack of awareness ) and would embrace the pain and continue with the work
Few years ago I got awareness about what really I am going through
So thats how I know that I have mental health problems, probably more than one
PTSD being the main villain
And anxiety
The amount of pain, shame, guilt and self doubt it brings each time it randomly throws a traumatic memory of the past
God
That would be terrible
And I also fall ill frequently
I am physically weak
Its like I am just cornered all sides both mentally and physically
I am just fighting both at the same time
I still have hope
I will win
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Been facing the exact same problem , as you explained
Even after knowing everything , I can’t deal with it . Will have to get help if it continues with me . It also crushes confidence and self belief to me .
I relapsed to ■■■■ a few days ago out of fear too and it made everything worse . Total negative thoughts compounding , this shit kills my mindset , I hate it . Flashbacks and past memories are draining my happiness and I can’t do my best when Im not happy or when Im scared with thoughts .
One thing I know that these ptsd like flashbacks are more lies than the truth . For me , it makes me think that Im not good enough and a weird feeling of cloudness and fear . I start thinking about the past when I was not mature enough and acted hastily , then it also makes me think that I failed my time because I could not get rid of this cycle itself and I end up fearing more . But when the reality hits , when Im not devastated by these thoughts or simply when Im out of my home , I realize that it meant nothing and what the reality is , I am much more confident and mature unlike before , better and happy when not giving attention to it , its just these thoughts making me feel like Im not worth it , I will not be able to clear , confident or smart . Thats what all it is for me .
I also feel better when I talk about it or resolve it completely , perhaps it is only a think blanket in my case which mostly occurs when Im preparing at home . It only comes back if something bad happens or I relapse after a long while .
But we haven’t given up after all this time have we , so this shouldn’t stop us either .
I am trying to put my parents face before depression , it sounds silly but I think that my parents didnt come here and pay for me to fall into depression and lose mess up everything . May or may not crack the exam but I don’t want to make my life shit because of all this .
I will suggest you to engage out of it more too , having conversations with your parents or friends at least , if not going out . About the doom scrolling thing , I said to myself that if I am scared , I will work scared , crying but won’t distract myself cause it will only lead to more regret later whereas all the work I put adds to something , effectiveness is one thing but it is better than not working at all . After that if you will look back at your day , it will give you more confidence and motivation to do better the next day .
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I too relapsed yesterday
I can attest on one thing
My life seems to be the best when I am outside my home
I was attending physical face to face classes till 3 days back
Each day I wouldn’t even think about pmo or other negative things
PmO wouldn’t trouble me
Negative thoughts wouldn’t trouble me
Past memories won’t haunt me
Only when I am in my home , I suffer all these
Its easy to study outside the home
Its difficult to focus in home
All these triggers get loose
We have constantly be aware of these triggers
And I have no choice because classes got over
I only have around 10 days left for exams and I have to study from home
I feel like crying
I lock the door
What I study isn’t getting into my head
I study by reading aloud and sometimes I start shouting while studying so that I could go into my head
But again due to the stressful activity, mind triggers some tragedy of the past and wants me to stop studying
There is a proverb in Tamil
Its kinda backward and misogynistic
But some part of it makes sense
Ponnu veetu kulla illa na kettu poidum
Ambala paiyan veetu kulla ye irunthu kettu poirum
Meaning
A girl will get spoilt if she doesn’t stay enclosed in
House and
A man will get spoilt if he doesn’t leave his house
Even If I disagree with the first part, the second part makes sense
Men are designed to stay and work outside their homes
Men naturally get sexual urges after a certain age and it is uncontrollable
Nature has produced men like that
Thats Why Men are designed to work outside, go outside and come home late
This way the men don’t get lustful and can focus on work
I think we all can agree that this addiction took a worse turn during pandemic when we all locked in our homes
Men can’t stay indoors
In the past, Men were focused and best of their ability if they stayed away from house and would return late after work
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I relate to it all
I only feel all of this when Im at home too .
If I always had been the same way in home like when Im out , I have no doubt that I’d be so strong and smart enough to use my potential to clear way for IIT 
.
Library is a good option if you can do it , I have thinking about it but the thought of wasting more of my parent’s money stops me . In 2 - 3 days , if I get 10 - 12 hours focused kinda productive again then it will be fine . For me , its just clarity and happiness that matters . When I am happy , I enjoy studying and can study endlessly but when I am stuck in thoughts , everything feels miserable .
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This is so true brother
This is quite similar of a quote
" Its better to die in the battle field fighting rather than to live by running away from it"
If we are depressed, we will study with depression
If we are crying, We will study and cry simultaneously
If we are tired, we will study and simultaneously take rest
Just don’t stop
JUST DON’T STOP
We will face the pain and study
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Talking about this made me feel better
thanks to you
In my side , I need to believe myself to not fear . Now till my exam , I will give it my all so that I don’t regret later about this part . I have to work hard enough that even if I will have to look upon 2nd attempt , I will have a strong and complete setup ready .
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Love the ambitious side of Ambitious one. Now don’t waste time on forum and study or stay online but study side by side. 
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I think it’s because you don’t have something which interest you in your present you should find that also doing study is good but as you can see your mental health is declining you should take a break from everything and just chill do everything you like and after this you can sleep just let go of everything why bother and start your study whenever you feel right by doing this you can increase you productivity too. Believe me just try this but remember I advise you to not to become like me who just ignore all of his work get some time for your study and work too also, why one study and do that much hustle just for recognition and wealth? What one will do after it! Most probably will get retired after getting everything he wanted to just relax so why not do it now too
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I came across this chapter in a book recently that you may find useful.
STRESS
First of all, and I don’t mean to minimize the stress people face, but:
Imagine what Eugene Sledge went through on Peleliu and the tens of thousands of Marines there who suffered unimaginable horror.
Imagine David Hackworth assaulting enemy positions in Korea, wounded over and over again on the line, still going back for more.
Imagine the poet warrior Alan Seeger in World War One getting ready to go over the top and make his rendezvous with death…
Imagine the thousands of warriors who have gone before you, who have stood and faced evil and death.And now imagine you. I used to do this myself while in Iraq facing stress.
Yes, we took casualties, and yes it was awful and heartbreaking and every bit as wretched as I could imagine.
But warriors have faced much much worse: The Battle of the Somme, or Gettysburg, or the Battle of the Bulge, or the Chosin Reservoir.
Humans can withstand almost inconceivable stress—and you can too.
So that is your first step: Gain perspective.
And to do that you must do something critical in many situations: Detach.
Whatever problems or stress you are experiencing, detach from them.
Stress is generally caused by what you can’t control.
The worst thing about incoming artillery fire is you can’t control it. It is happening and you just have to accept it. Don’t stress about things you can’t control.
If the stress is something that you can control and you are not, that is a lack of discipline and a lack of ownership.
Get control of it. Impose your will to make it happen. Solve the problem. Relieve the stress.
If the stress is something you can’t control: Embrace it.
You can’t control it, but—
How can you look at it from a different angle?
How can you use it to your advantage?
I couldn’t control the chaos of combat.I had to embrace it.
I had to figure out a way to take advantage of it.
Make it into your ally.So. Don’t fight stress. Embrace it. Turn it on itself. Use it to make yourself sharper and more alert. Use it to make you think and learn and get better and smarter and more effective.
Use the stress to make you a better you.
—Jocko Willink, “Discipline Equals Freedom”, p. 20
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Thank you
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Thats what I am also thinking
If I stay online here and study side by side, Atleast I don’t have to feel lonely while embracing the hardships in studying
A good idea
There is nothing distractive about RC too
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