How not to objectify women?

Your thoughts are very similar to minevbrother. Only difference is you are already at a place where I want to be. I’m still far more a materialistic human than a soul solely searching for truth.
As for longing for children, I have been that one person who is universally and instantly liked by all the children who meet him. I feel that children are the greatest gift of the nature to the humankind. The purest, sanest and the most sacred creation of God. Thats why I want to have my own children.
Bedding someone means sleeping with them. People these days are having lots of sex before and after marriage, with their partners and outside their relationship too. That was what I meant when I said that I don’t think anything more for a woman I’m sexually attracted than bedding them and then go on my own path. This is just sometimes when I’m in that state of mind brother, when I’m objectifying some females. And thats not how I am or how I think. I see this as an immoral act. But sometimes my mind fantasizes about such things when it sees some pretty females.

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Haha, yeah don’t want to be called creep either. But I know some women have called me such things behind my back, but except for one time, I don’t remember acting like a creep either. And that one instance was too with a girl, whom I really liked . Probably my only attempt on approaching someone and it ended in a massive failure LOL.
Yes bro, its these sinful thoughts which are bugging me the most. I have to grow a lot as a person.
My parents have already mentioned this a few times after an acquaintance of mine, who is also our neighbour, got married few days ago. I have told them to not even think about this. And they said the same thing as you, that I should think deeply about my decision after the exams. Of course, if I do that, it’d be mostly because of my love for my parents. I’ll do anything for their happiness.
Celibacy is what I want to practice rest of my life bro. Not because of the benefits they mention, but simply because it’ll keep me more involved with the actual world and help me think about others, and help everyone selflessly, impartially and honestly. If I get married, I’ll be trapped in the world of I, my and mine ; making me a person more indulged in his own world, his own family and in his own house, than to work for the betterment of the country.

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Before PMO also I felt shy in talking with girls . My whole school life I have spent enjoying , playing with my friends and studying.

Now this monster is in my life coz of pandemic and want to that life back , I’dont want in college I should spend time Doing pmo , I want to spend time playing and studying.

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Be very careful when you get in the college bro. I’m one of the exceptional cases of a person going to college and then coming out actually as someone way better and knowledgeable than I previously was. But most of the guys I know, even the all time toppers from my school, they actually became worse, lazy, immoral, imbecile and way spoiled than they previously were. Depending on your field of study, you’ll face a lot of distractions during college life, be ready to taxkle all of them.

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Yes, I’ll be careful … I have to chose my friend circle carefully … I’ll give my everything to get in a good college rather than in low grades colleges .

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Dont fear marriage man @PrDr it’s not a world of I and mine alone. I don’t have experience in it, obviously :joy: but so many people have bettered the world who are married. It’s only a matter of choice. Marriage will round the sharper edges.

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Standard of college won’t decide it as much as your own dedication and strong willpower. Its a well known fact that professors in any college/university don’t teach as much as they should. School teachers are way more dedicated. And of course, you’ll get a sense of freedom, independence, company of some distractive friends etc… which will make it gharder for you. So be ready.

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We’ll see bro. Right now, the first thing I need to fix is to stop objectifying women. That’ll automatically fix a lot of things in my life.

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You cannot own any of your children (if you get married), you have simply given a body to that spirit soul which came here here for the purpose of liberation. You do not own any soul, soul belongs to God.

You, yourself are the purest, sanest and most sacred in your true form, because you are a part of God. So you have to try to make that connection with God, so you become divine again which is who you are.

Children are not the greatest gift to humanity, the greatest gift to humanity is the will power, the level of consciousness, the ability to make your own decision. This is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Don’t let the cute faces of new born babies trick you, the same cute baby will grow to become ugly ■■■ adult beings one day, and after some time the same body will either be buried or burnt when the spirit soul leaves that body.

Well, getting married is like jumping from a helicopter :helicopter: knowing the fact that the parachute won’t open 9 out of 10 times.
@PrDr , man don’t ever get married, I can show
you the statistics and facts. Marriage was a very special, sacred occasion in a time long long long ago, but now no girl will ever even consider you a human being if you don’t have a high income, car, big house, etc. The first question the girl’s parents ask you before marriage is what to you work (indirectly what’s your salary), you are simply seen as a disposable thing not as a human being. The gender biased laws across the world are such that your wife can put you and your parents in a lot of trouble by making false allegations all thanks to gender biased laws, and you won’t be having any law in your favor to fight against them, you will be given a tag of abuser simply because she cried. And even if you and your wife decide that marriage life is not working, so you decide to divorce, then divorce will force you to give 50% of all your money to her, and your children will be given to her, and you will have to spend the rest of your life paying her child support money.

There are other things about marriage which are very dangerous.

getting married nowadays is like going into a battlefield without armor and weapons thinking that no body is going to hurt you which is stupid af.

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Bro completely stop thinking about women is hard work. Even monks who leave everything behind, meditate for 10-12 hours in a day say the most difficult challenge is overcoming sexual fantasy. Our brains are wired to get attracted to a woman otherwise no one would want to have sex and there will be no children. Yeah but I agree we amplify these feelings by watching porn or masturbating.

I would suggest you should read more on Buddhism. There are lot of great monks videos available online on these topics. e.g. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKQfkUXfx4Y

> I have one more question that how can I see good-looking women and not so good-looking women in the same light of attractiveness?

is it even realistic? Even successful persons desire to have beautiful women. Women objectify men all the time. They will see if you have big muscle? they will see if you’re rich or if you are intelligent. So I guess it works both ways.

I am not saying it’s not possible. But You have to go towards the monk route to do that.

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Yes bro, you’re right about everything you have said. In fact, I have found most women to be way more materialistic than most men. But I really want liberation from all of these thoughts completely. I want to be free from all these sinful thoughts and look at people just as humans and nothing more, not men or women, adults or children, good or bad, black or white. Just human. I reckon your recommendation for listening to Buddhist monks is worth a try brother. I’ll try that.

Brother, I hope I have given the answer to your question, I have one more question that how can I see good-looking women and not so good-looking women in the same light of attractiveness?

I have made it very clear in my first reply to you. It’s completely possible to wipe out all the genes which make us attracted to women. It’s possible 100% by spiritual practices like japa (chanting). Please don’t listen to someone saying anything is not possible or realistic, everything, literally everything is possible once you become devoted to God.

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You are right man. I cannot own anyone. I don’t even want to own anybody. I just want to be with my own children, thats it. But your idea is true to a great extent that once these children grow, they’ll turn into the same people I don’t want them to be. Thanks for opening my eyes brother.

I have mentioned it before that 2 years ago, I was in the incel community, where some Indian men said that I’m too good looking to be an incel and sent me to MGTOW community. This was in these communities where I grew misogynistic thoughts which have stayed there. Even though its been over 2 years since I left those communities, my views about women have been fucked up . That led me to search for all this knowledge that you have mentioned here brother. Biased gender laws, materialistic cravings of women to always want better than they have, selfish attitude of women, the effect of 2nd,3rd and 4th wave feminism on this world and degrading human society because of wants. I have read about all of this.
But after that , I found even those guys from incel and MGTOW communities to be extremely materialistic. Overtly obsessing about looks, money, status, height, all of the things which attract the women. But I haven’t been thinking about any of this, so leaving them was the only option. I don’t want to marry because I feel I’ll never trust humans and specially women more so than men, I want to do better things for the world which I feel can be hindered by marriages which essentially traps a man in selfish, materialistic world where he can’t think beyond his own family’s good, I basically don’t want to marry to end up dying as a human I want to be.

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I see bro, I have tried Japas for quite some time but everything seems to fly away like a vapour the moment I see a good looking woman. For 2 years I have continuously told myself to stop getting attracted to somebody, stop having lustful thoughts for someone, stop objectifying others, etc… but the moment I get in a real life situation, my sexual senses heat up and they prompt me to have sinful thoughts about all the females who seem like a potential mate for bedding.

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To be honest, I’m also a MGTOW, In fact i have a mgtow account on Instagram with almost 1k followers. My username is @mgtow_global just in case if you want to check out my content. Although you are very true that mgtows obsess a lot about looks and are very materialistic. But you might have encountered fake mgtows because you are saying you have developed misogyny thoughts. Mgtows only show you reality of women and system. If you can’t accept it, you start hating women. This is probably what has happened with you.

Once you get married, you will trapped in your duties for taking care of your wife and children. This is very big obstacle which would stay in your life till the end.

Whatever you want to do good to world bro, do it, but never forget your only purpose of birth, which is to go back to home, back to Godhead. Liberation is everyone’s actual goal in life. Marriage life will drag you towards this material world. Which is a very great hindrance in your spiritual growth.

I have already talked about children and population. It’s very simple and clear already.

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@Consecrator You have a distorted view of everything. Seems to me you have read a lot of shit on the internet and teaching everyone your false ideologies.

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Bro, try japa for At least 6 months, only then it will show it’s effect on you. What do you chant is very important. By searching everywhere, every scripture, I have finally known that raam naam is the best. In kaliyug, only chanting is helpful to get liberation, in chanting ram naam is best. Try it daily for at least an hour, you will start feeling change, you might get good results in your competitive exam, but never lose hope in God. The Only condition In chanting ram naam is you have leave every other bhajan, or deity worship, you have to be devoted only to Lord shri ram
I have tried it, I’m a living example, I have crossed 45 days nofap only by help of God.

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Please Explain me where I am saying anything wrong or “my own false ideologies”

Yeah, I was able to see that. But believe me, people who are really MGTOW are very very rare. Most of guys in MGTOW community and even in the incel community are fake, stupid impostors and imbeciles who are there for materialistic reasons. MGTOW literally means that you stop thinking about women completely, and that starts with stopping to talk about them. But its evidentary that everything that MGTOWs do and say is directly or indirectly in reference to thw women. They want to have good physique, money, status, all just to make women want them , so that they can refuse women and feel superior. Whatever you call them man, fake or real, they are the 99% and they are what form the perception of MGTOW community. I find their ideas to be extremely materialistic, skewed, exaggerated and something driven solely by feelings of avengement. Thats not a healthy place to be in, for a mind to grow. I hope that you’ll be able to understand me. When I left those communities, I came to realize that my worldview has been turned into something that I don’t want it to be. Religious scriptures, philosophy, books, poems, essays, and even right movies and songs can help us grow as a person. These communities are cancer brother. If you really want to make better changes, try some spiritual communities such as ISKCON movement, Shri Rama Mandali, etc… which can help you. Both female and male communities are filled with extreme ideas and wrong worldview which can make a human mind sick, extremely sick, that you won’t be able to fix it for a long time. Try it yourself brother, would you want to be seen the same way by others, the way you see the females?
The ArdhNarishwar portrait that you have in your dp is an answer to a lot of questions.

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It good for you that you left those communities but always remember that laws are against men. Be cautious that’s it. And yes I have some groups and people of iskcon and similar ashrams in contact with me. But ever since I came to know about ram naam I lost interest in iskcon. By the way what is ram madali? how to join ram madali?

I recommend you a YouTube channel named “Ram Satsang” Follow it if you want to know more about raam naam and Lord ram. :pray:

And I kept my profile pic if shiv ji (ardhnarishwar) back in January when I was worshipping shiv ji.

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