People new to recovery from ■■■■ addiction often ask about how long the recovery process takes. It makes sense to wonder because recovery, for many people, can be quite challenging. Having a specific “day count” or date to aim for makes recovery seem attainable. Indeed, the phrase “recover from ■■■■ addiction in 30 days” is a lot less scary sounding than “recover from ■■■■ addiction.” However, the answer to “how long does it take to recover from ■■■■ addiction,” which is one of our most frequently-asked-questions, is nuanced and depends on a wide variety of factors.
It depends on what you are recovering from.
People use NoFap or other recovery-oriented websites for a variety of reasons. While NoFap’s main focus is helping people to overcome ■■■■ addiction, some users struggle with ■■■■ overuse and/or compulsive sexual behavior. A smaller minority of users aren’t really “recovering” from anything at all but simply made a personal decision to stop using ■■■■ or to reduce their use despite never being addicted to it.
To meet the generally-accepted criteria for ■■■■ addiction, the person must be unable to stop pornography use, despite significant negative consequences of continuing to use it. Therefore, if somebody can stop using ■■■■ relatively easily, they would not fit the criteria for technically being a ■■■■ addict. For more information on the criteria of ■■■■ addiction, see the ■■■■ Addiction 101 guide.
However, even in the absence of addiction, some might still struggle with ■■■■ overuse. Keep in mind that you don’t need to be technically addicted to ■■■■ to experience negative effects stemming from your ■■■■ habits. People who overuse ■■■■ or have an unhealthy relationship with ■■■■ without being addicted to it should, in a general sense, be able to recover more quickly than their addicted peers.
Now we come to “compulsive sexual behavior disorder” (CSBD), which has often been referred to as “sex addiction” by some experts (for example, IITAP and SASH) and in the media. Our website does not focus on compulsive sexual behavior unrelated to ■■■■ use, but some of our users report struggling with it in conjunction with a problematic ■■■■ habit. Indeed, there’s a huge difference between having sex and watching sex films – digital ■■■■ doesn’t exist in nature and, to many experts, is considered a super-stimulus. People who also struggle with non-■■■■ compulsive sexual behavior could take longer to recover since many clinicians report that many who struggle with non-■■■■-related CSBD are “traditional addicts” who have previous trauma and other factors that could have led them to abuse an otherwise natural and healthy behavior.
It depends on your history.
When did you start looking at ■■■■? People who had a chance to grow up without using digital ■■■■ often report recovering from ■■■■ addiction more quickly. Unfortunately, these days, many underage kids and teens are using ■■■■ well before their first date or first kiss.
How long have you been using ■■■■? If you’ve only been hooked on ■■■■ for a few years, it generally wouldn’t take you as long to recover versus somebody who has a decades-long problem ■■■■ habit. You can’t reasonably expect to fully overcome a 30-year-long ■■■■ addiction in just 30 days.
How excessive were your ■■■■ habits? Generally, the more ■■■■ that you used, the harder that it might be to quit or reduce your use.
Do you have other issues that need to be worked on? How long recovery takes sometimes depends on factors behind your control. It might depend on your physiology, background, beliefs, upbringing, environmental factors, family history, or other things that you are struggling with. If you have a co-occurring addiction, such as substance addiction or even other behavioral addiction, it could take you longer to recover – and it’s a good idea to get some professional support. The same goes for any depression, shame, anxiety, or other psychological factors that can lead you to increased problem ■■■■ use. Keep in mind, however, that not all (or even most) ■■■■ addicts are ■■■■ addicts due to non-■■■■-related issues – but simply because unlimited digital ■■■■ was available to them. Many experts believe that many ■■■■ addicts, particularly those who grew up using Internet ■■■■, appear to be “conditioned addicts,” where they don’t have any innate susceptibility to addiction or trauma that led to problem ■■■■ use, but rather conditioned their brains to prefer pornography instead of people through sheer repetition.
It depends on the side effects that you’ve experienced.
Do you have ■■■■-associated erectile dysfunction? ■■■■-induced erectile dysfunction (often abbreviated as “PIED”) refers to an inability to “get it up” with a partner while having zero issues achieving arousal with pornography. The simple explanation is that, essentially, people with PIED have, through a lot of repetition, conditioned their brains to prefer digital ■■■■ instead of people. People with PIED often report that they take significantly longer to recover.
Do you have other ■■■■-induced sexual dysfunction, such as anorgasmia? This is also referred to as delayed ejaculation – and both of these terms refer to an inability to orgasm during partnered sex, or even masturbation without using pornography. Many ■■■■ addicts experience this and it could be, in a sense, considered a less severe form of PIED. Some ■■■■ addicts will “replay” ■■■■ scenes in their heads while masturbating or having partnered sex. Other ■■■■ addicts develop a “death grip” where they stimulate their genitals far beyond what another human being is capable of, making partnered sex far less pleasurable in comparison. The further you are from enjoying real sex, the longer your recovery may take.
Are you uninterested in real sex? There’s a huge difference between ■■■■ addiction and the often-discussed concept of “sex addiction.” ■■■■ addicts are often very disinterested in sex – and will choose using ■■■■ over partnered sexual opportunities that are available to them. If you are still interested in real, organic sex with your partner, that might be a good sign for your recovery.
Do you feel that your life is completely dysfunctional? ■■■■ addiction is a serious issue that deserves the same level of concern as other behavioral addictions. For some people, you might never know that they’re ■■■■ addicts (such as Terry Crews). For others, ■■■■ addiction can be completely debilitating. If you are struggling to live a sustainable life, unfortunately, that might be a sign that you’ve got a journey ahead of you. Fortunately, help is available – and recovery is possible.
It depends on how seriously you take recovery.
Do you have any prior success in reducing your ■■■■ use? People with long ■■■■-free streaks are well-positioned to kick problem ■■■■ use for good. Like with many things in life, experience helps to set a foundation for future success.
Are you using ■■■■ occasionally while trying to recover? If you keep on going back to ■■■■, you’re only prolonging your recovery from ■■■■ addiction. While some people, particularly non-addicts who struggle with ■■■■ overuse and make the personal decision to continue using it, can engage in “weaning off” (reducing ■■■■ use over a period of time), ■■■■ addicts are generally advised to steer clear of any ■■■■ use for the foreseeable future. In a peer-reviewed paper, the authors observed clinical reports from three recovering ■■■■ addicts with ■■■■-induced erectile dysfunction. Two addicts who were able to stay ■■■■-free were able to regain sexual function, while the third wasn’t able to reduce his ■■■■ use and continued experiencing erectile dysfunction.
Are you going “lite mode,” “normal mode,” or “hard mode”? While there isn’t much peer-reviewed academic research yet (but plenty of anecdotes) on the long term outcomes for recovering ■■■■ addicts, we have noticed some trends among our users. In particular, people with severe ■■■■ addiction often report finding it beneficial to spend a temporary period of time completely abstaining from masturbation, or even orgasm altogether. Generally this “rebooting” (the verb for the abstinence from such behaviors) period lasts between 30 days to 90 days. There are many potential reasons for this, but one main reason is that it is challenging for a ■■■■ addict to separate pornography from masturbation – and that masturbating or having sex while thinking about ■■■■ often leads back to ■■■■ use. If you’re struggling with serious ■■■■ addiction, it might be useful to consider reducing the amount that you masturbate to more moderate levels to speed things up.
Are you avoiding ■■■■-substitute activities? Many ■■■■ addicts, in the absence of ■■■■, will seek out replacement activities. These can include spending hours surfing sexualized media or dating apps, checking out social media bikini pictures, or similar activities to personally sexualize non-sexual media. All digital sexual media – or media that a ■■■■ addict seeks out to sexualize to replace pornography – should be avoided for the duration of recovery. It’s okay to take a temporary break from some television shows, social media platforms, apps, or other places where you encounter imagery that leads you back to problem ■■■■ use.
Are you trying to get informed about recovery? There’s a huge difference between people who try to go about recovery without any information – and those who seek out information. Since you are reading this article, you are probably the latter – which is good news for your recovery. Important information to learn includes the best recovery practices and what is going on with a ■■■■ addict’s brain. To put it quite frankly, many people in the recovery community are under-informed and don’t take enough time to research the basics – how many times have you seen “is a wet dream a relapse?” posted on a recovery forum? This misinformation about recovery and rebooting is a particular problem in the “coaching” and “YouTuber” spheres. Whenever a craving comes up, it’s comforting to know exactly what is happening with your brain. You can get started on the ■■■■ Addiction 101 page, which is science- and evidence-based.
Are you seeing a therapist? This is especially important for people experiencing severe symptoms, people with occurring psychological issues, or other mental disorder and distress. But you don’t need to be experiencing a mental health crisis to visit with a therapist. The neutral, third-party perspective of a therapist can help you to identify areas that need improvement, help you to balance your life, give you professional guidance, set you up with some tools for success.
Are you holding yourself accountable? ■■■■ addicts who seek out accountability often report greater success in quitting ■■■■. This could be with a romantic partner, a friend, an accountability group, a recovery coach, or an accountability partner found through our forums. Outside of accountability, just connecting with peers going through a similar journey could be incredibly beneficial. You can get started on our forums.
It depends on living a fulfilling life.
Are you taking care of yourself? Living a healthy life is an important aspect of recovery. You’ll feel better, which can lead to fewer urges to go back to ■■■■ – and it will certainly make you more capable of resisting cravings. This includes getting enough sleep, exercising or getting some movement into your routine, scheduling in some relaxation, and eating well.
Are you building up healthy stress outlets? Not only do you need to take care of your body, but you also need to take care of your mind. Many ■■■■ addicts condition themselves to run to ■■■■ at the slightest hint of stress. In lieu of problem ■■■■ use, it is important to ensure that you are taking care of the daily stressors of life, or any adversity that you may have to deal with. These can include exercising, video games, recreational sports, family time, or connecting with others.
Are you pursuing things that you care about? Living a happy life is an important component of recovering from ■■■■ addiction. We often tell people to “live a life that’s so fulfilling that there’s no room for ■■■■ addiction reenter it.” Are you taking care of everything that needs taken care of? Use the free time garnered through quitting ■■■■ to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself. How are your finances – time to set up a budget? How is your career – time to learn a new skill? How is your education – need to study more often? How is your family – time to call a distant relative that you haven’t spoken to in a while? How is your work-life balance – time to put more time into fun and recreational activities? What else could you put time into to improve?
Are you engaging in a real-world romantic relationship? While having a significant other won’t “cure” ■■■■ addiction, some people believe that engaging in healthy human-to-human intimacy could be beneficial to recovery. While it may be beneficial to temporarily abstain from sexual activity for partnered addicts, many people in recovery feel that it’s beneficial to start re-implementing partnered romantic (cuddling, dates) and sensual (kissing, hugging, etc) activities to “rewire” their brains back to reality. Single people might benefit from going on some dates – or, if you’ve never been in a relationship and want to pursue a relationship, getting ready to start dating.
It depends on your definition of “recovery.”
Some believe that you are “recovered” is when you can successfully abstain from using ■■■■ and no longer have significant cravings that lead to you abandoning your recovery plan, no longer meeting the definition to be diagnosed with ■■■■ addiction. However, it still might take longer to reduce or reverse the negative side effects that you experienced from the problem ■■■■ habit. Some people consider the reduction or reversal of these symptoms, such as ■■■■-induced erectile dysfunction, to be signs of “recovery.”
In general, recovery means that you’ve overcome the side effects caused by ■■■■ addiction and are no longer at significant risk of relapsing back into problem ■■■■ use. However, some people consider themselves to be in recovery for many years, for a variety of reasons. “Recovery,” to some people, is a subjective term since they feel that they are recovering their quality of life – for decades. Some people consider recovery to be a life-long process. Your personal definition of “recovery” will impact how long recovery takes to achieve.
The short answer: there isn’t a set amount of time that it takes to recover from ■■■■ addiction.
Unless if you have access to a time machine or know someone with magical powers who can look into the future, you’re out of luck. While we can share our best practices and different factors that impact recovery, there’s no accurate way to predict exactly how long it will take for you to recover.
If you’re feeling like recovery is impossible, you might want to read some success stories to get motivated. But just because you read somebody else’s story on our website or forums doesn’t mean that your experience will be the same or even similar. Everyone is unique and therefore has a unique recovery experience. We’ve seen people say that they’re recovered after 30 days – while others still consider themselves to be in recovery after 10 years.
We recommend focusing on what you have control over – doing everything within your power to reduce the duration of your recovery and your odds of success. If you keep taking care of yourself, getting the support that you need, and staying ■■■■-free, recovery is only a matter of time. In the meantime, you might find it motivational to set milestones for yourself – 30 days, 60 days, or 90 days ■■■■-free, since doing so will give you something to aim for. After you reach your initial goal, you can evaluate your situation and decide on whether or not you will need to continue your recovery parameters. After you are recovered from ■■■■ addiction, you will have to decide on how you choose to express your sexuality in your life – whether solo or with a partner.
Keep in mind that recovery from ■■■■ addiction is not a “linear” process that gets better and better every day. Usually, it has its ups and downs, eventually trending upwards. Keep on moving forward, day by day, and you CAN recover from ■■■■ addiction.