How I felt after a relapse

I once relapsed and decided to write what I wanted to tell to my future self feeling the urge, I decided to translate it and share it with you! Hope it helps someone! When something is written with ~ at the start and at the end and in italic, that means I didn’t write it before but it’s too explain you.
~Example~

It sucks
All these days were useless just for this moment. It’s not even pleasuring, it’s just an illusion of sex… All it does is to stop you from wanting to do it but you don’t like it… (And this confirms the fact that it’s a non sense need, not something you actually want, that non users don’t feel, so you won’t feel like this anymore if you stop now. ~The Easy Peasy Method book says that~ Say the Rosary and no matter what don’t do it. I don’t know what I could give to be where you are or at least to have the occasion to act, ~By having to deal with an urge~ and if you decide to do it you’ll feel that way too. It’s not “The last time”. Also last time was the last time. How many times was it the last time? Do what you have to now and after you’ll never feel like this again. You are feeling the temptation, ~Aka urge~ it’s the moment to act you have been waiting for so long. I know you won’t disappoint me because you are a man, not like the being writing this (And I’m not kidding, I’m a person but not a man. Again I’m not kidding, I’m not laughing while writing this, I’m serious.) It’s the right moment. No next time. Think about it like this: next time you won’t magically decide to stop, you’ll say “Last time” again, and again and again, so, is it better to stop now or in an year? Seriously don’t do it, you only remain other 10 minutes depressed like me now. Stop kidding! True men don’t do these things!!

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