How Do I Turn My Life Around

Posting here after a long time because I just can’t give up my addiction to pmo. I am honestly more pathetic then ever before. My life is a complete mess and I can’t seem to do anything to bring a change in my life. I have been addicted for more than 8 years and still I am addicted than ever before. I don’t know what i am going to do with my life, I am just I don’t even know myself. I feel like there is no sense in living anymore. No matter how many times I try I fall in this cycle of addiction again and again. I feel I can’t take this anymore

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You can do this man
I know it’s very hard,I feel that to. because it’s been 6 years I’m addicted

We can stop this man

My code:hhccqr

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Honestly I feel its just too much, That i cant take this anymore i will be 24 this month the way i have abused my body over the years sometimes i feel like giving up on life. I have no skills,no social life, no job I feel like a dead weight of no value to my parents who did their best to raise me. This addiction is sucking ny life like a parasite and i feel too helpless

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Everyone can quit PMO for good. It’s not a matter of willpower. I was addicted for 30 years and I am still alive ) Read the book, read this forum, the community here is great.

Set yourself a simple goal - stay clean for 1 day. Then another day, and another. Do everything like your life depends on it.

Learn from relapses, but never give up.

If you continue trying, you will be free eventually. Just go on trying and learn from mistakes.

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Hi @John22

First of all, please don’t be such negative! Please don’t let your past experiences make you feel that you cannot get over this vicious cycle of addiction. You have not been able to overcome this addiction till now because you could not fight against it in the best possible way. You would be able to overcome this addiction once you tackle it in a better way. Therefore, you see your past and future are independent of each other and hence, it’s just an illusion in your mind that just because you could not overcome it in the past, you would not be able to overcome it in the future. Actually, an interesting story is coming to my mind which might motivate you in this situation but since, it would make the post even longer, let’s keep that story for some other day. :slightly_smiling_face:

Now, coming to the point of beating this addiction, well, there are plenty of good advises present on this forum. Let me take this opportunity to suggest advises from my side too. :slightly_smiling_face:

First of all, please understand that these things like getting urges are quite normal in the recovery journey. Please don’t stress too much over it! The more you stress over it, the more you think about it and then, higher is the chance of relapse. My answer will consist of two parts - one containing what to do when you are getting huge urges and the other part suggesting general advise that will try to prevent you from getting stuck in this loop of urges’ cycle.

Lets begin with the first part. When you are getting huge urges, there are quite a number of things which can prevent you from relapsing. The first thing you should try is to change your environment in such a way that there is no chance of relapse. Like going outside to a public place or going to your family member’s room and start talking to them. Also, try to induce movement in your body while doing all this. It will help. If the suggested option is not available for you (maybe because it’s night, you can’t go outside or because of lockdown etc.), then start moving in you house only without having phone in hands. The physical movement helps in this situation. There are other things too you can do while facing urges. I had watched a video which suggested 7 ways to transmute our sexual energy. You can try one of these to fight urges: 1. exercise, 2. meditation, 3. experience happiness (eg. listen to music and dance etc.), 4. meet pals, 5. deep work, 6. creative work, 7. cleanliness. So now, you have these tools in your toolbox, use them to fight your urges. I hope you will be successful. :smiley:

Now, lets talk a bit about the general advise on how to avoid getting stuck in this irritating loop of feeling urges. As you have already experienced yourself, the more you are exposed to sexual things (even if it’s soft in nature), the more is the chance of getting stuck in this loop. So, how to avoid it? It’s simple. For getting entertainment while you are on the path of recovery, just rely on those sources of entertainment which are safe in nature. By safe, I mean those sources which are not going to sexually excite you and hence, cannot become a reason for your relapse. You can also get entertainment by listening to music, watching good documentaries, playing clean video games or even better, playing sports etc. If you have an urge to watch movies, please watch only clean movies. Prior to watching a movie, you can check the age rating of that movie and inquire online whether it has any sexual stuff or not. It will help you know beforehand if that movie is safe for you.

I hope these things serve as a comprehensive guide for all those who are fighting off the urges. Always remember you all are great fighters and hence, are not going to fall prey to this addiction.

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Thank you for the words of encouragements and advices @ themonk1 and @shaksam3 , I really appreciate it.

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I pray for you to get a life beyond PMO and overcome this addiction :slight_smile:

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I wrote what i have been feeling over the past few years. I may have sounded too negative but thats what my life has become right now. I feel lost, no direction where to start. Also i am not particularly good at one thing.

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I wish you the best guys… Leaving this forum permanently… Good luck on your journey

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