Hi this is Jolly's Diary

Journal
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Hi everyone! I am 22 years old woman and i have a porn addiction. I exposed with porn since I was a child, and also ever experience sexual abuse. I never thought the impacted of that is my porn addiction, I cannot stop masturbate and watching porn. My highest streak was 40 days and it breaks my heart, since i am a woman, i’m afraid to talk about this because of the judgement I will get.

I start this diary at the same day I am relapsed, it breaks my heart a lot because I truly wanna stop and repent, i wanna be clean and live my life as God wants me to without haunted and chained by this sin.

I will try my best to keep update on this diary to motivate myself. Goodluck everyone with your own journey!

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Hi, I will tell you what I’m doing to stay away from this addiction (sorry my english). I’m 101 days without PMO.

First. Block all your devices. Use blockers to cellphone (Applock SpSoft, Safe Kids Kaspersky), to PC (Blok Supreme Pro, soon translated to english) and to the routers use OPENDNS or CleanBrowsing.

I put all my passwords on my shelf on my job. So I cannot access my passwords and cannot open the blockers when I am on my house.

All this will solve the porn problem (and if you cannot block a cellphone adequately, for example, i recommend you to block all your device. I just use my cellphone to WhatsApp, mail and this app Rewire Companion. All other apps are blockeds/lockeds, also Google Play, Google Chrome and Settings. It’s the price for freedom).

But the problem of masturbation remains.

What solved the masturbation problem to me was the Sacraments of Eucharist and Confession. If you are on the western world you can access it easily and frequently.

The Confession sacrament gives you strength to not relapse. And Eucharist keep this strength. I go to Eucharist 5 times per week and almost doesn’t have urges on my 101 days.

It’s the biggest presence of Christ in this world: Eucharist. It will clean your thoughts, will clean all the luxury and gives you chastity. Since I go to Eucharist I don’t relapsed anymore.

Of course you need to pray every morning asking God to gives you chastity.

I don’t have strength to win this addiction. But nobody haves the strength to do the 10 Mandaments. Christ gives the strength to do the Ten Mandaments. Christ gives the strength to do the chastity and win this addiction.

What is the problem? The Protestant Churches don’t have Eucharist and Confession. So if you choose to apply this path you need to go to Catholic Church or Orthodox Church, the most ancient churches.

Today I am new in Christ.
Christ correct us.
You will be a new woman in Christ.

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Hi! Thank you for your sharing! It encourages me a lot. You really took a lot of sacrifices for beat this addiction and I believe like u said, it is the power of Christ who strenghten us! And like u said, it is important also to build a deeper relationship with God (which i realize these days i don’t spend my time with Him)

Btw I am a new non-denominational Christian, and today I just confessed to my study bible group and actually they encourage me and even want to help me to get through this journey. They gave me so many advices and pray with me.

I feel so inspired with what u did and do until today. Thank you so much once again! Keep fighting and i’ll remember you in my prayer. Thank you for encourage me!

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Hi jolly, it needs courage to come out and share stuff, you’re doing great and I can relate so much with you even being a male. I was also exposed with pornography when I was too young. My cousin showed me some explicit videos and I was horrified and started crying but he kept showing me them after few days again and then somehow i became started watching nsfw images for fun. But initially it was not an addiction i used to watch it occasionally like once in a month. But after I entered into high school I suffered from depression and started using porn as coping mechanism but I didn’t knew that it was only going to increase my depression. Now I’m 22 and still battling to get rid of this unethical addiction which is ruining my life. I know I can do much better if I don’t watch porn and masturbate and in this battle my longest streak is 48 days which broke when i relapsed in October last year. Since then I have been able to achieve a streak of 7 days maximum.

One thing that’s contributing to my addiction is that I don’t have any friends as I am an introvert and a bit shy. If you can be my companion on this battle then we both can surely conquer this. I’ll be glad if you affirm to be my companion we will motivate each other and help each other not to relapse.

Thanks

P.S. I won’t be creepy like many other guys if you add me as a companion :innocent:

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Creepy sentence was unexpected
Btw there are just very few creepy people
But i noticed one thing in ur text similar to me
Why is our highest streak 7 days and not increasing ??

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Because we have to clarify ourselves why do we not need to watch porn.

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