Today i relapsed 3rd time in December. Very sad.help me friends coz i am unable to control on urges i am using this app since 2 month but nothing happen positive for me.i have a exam on next sunday but due to stress i divert my mind to watch porn and replased again and again.my life is full of stress from last 10 month.so can’t understand what should i do. Yet i set a target of 15 days without relapsed.i want to go to 2020 without any relapsed so i want help to achive this.
I´m pretty much a newbie too, but I found out that exercising (10 push-ups for example) is good to remove urges. Besides you have to find something that replaces pmo as a stress-relieving practice, maybe meditation or just sitting in a dark room for 10 minutes with a blank sheet of paper in front of you, so you can note down your thoughts.
Otherwise it may be useful to wait until you passed this stressful span of time, to create a mindset that sets abstinence of pmo above all
Hey man, I know that situation well. For a long time I used this app off and on to no avail, and the stress from my school was overwhelming, making the urges unbeatable.
It was harder still, because I had to study, so I couldn’t do my typical urge-resisting activities.
But I’ll tell you what worked for me. The first thing I did was get really involved in this community. Before I used to only come on here to say whether I made it or I didn’t, a couple of words here and there and that was it.
This was a mistake. We have to really dedicate ourselves to becoming a part of the community here to keep ourselves clean. Once I joined one of the journaling challenges on here, I became so much more aware of myself, my needs, and what caused my urges.
And that’s where I discovered a truly liberating strategy for beating this, a strategy that can always be used, even when you are busy and stressed. And that strategy is mindfulness.
The essential structure of mindfulness is that we learn to be present with our thoughts. I’m not talking about mindfulness meditation, which is what mindfulness is usually associated with. Instead I’m talking about merely learning to understand what is going on inside your head at all times.
I have found that in this journey, one of the biggest reasons why we relapse, why we lack such a handle on our lives is because we do not understand ourselves, what drives our addiction. We have for so long neglected our needs as human beings (i.e. feeling lonely, stressed, anxiety, etc.) becaude we have filled those places with the addiction.
But once we start to learn what our body is saying, and realize that an urge is merely our body saying that something is wrong and needs to be fixed, then we can learn to rewire the urge and bring on healthy ways of dealing with our problems.
It’s gotten me to where I am now at 113 days clean from PMO.
If you’re interested in some of my strategies, I wrote a detailed post about what I do specifically to stay mindful in my 90 days clean update. I’ll post a link to it here: 90 Days PMO Clean After 5.5 Years of Addiction
Good luck man! I know you can break free from this and complete your goal of staying clean for the rest of 2019.
If you have any questions or need help or just need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to message me
Can you remember how it feels to receive little compliments? Try to do small positive things, for yourself and for others. Then give yourself a compliment for being good. Do it every day. The smaller your good things are, the better. Focus on what you do good, it will feed your will power. Don’t be too hard on yourself. The relapse gives you the opportunity to learn. What was the cause of the relapse. What did you really need, in stead of porn? To feel good, right?