Getting Suicidal Thoughts...Need help

Let me tell you about myself.
I am a 4th year college student. I am from computer science branch. From past 4 year i did coding and didn’t socialize much.

Placement season has started in my college. From past few days i am feeling very depressed, sad , lonely.

When i go to classes i see alot of couples on the ways. Seeing this i get very sad that why i couldn’t find one in past 2 years.

Also i have this friend of mine, lets call him S. S is literally good at everything. He is good with girls, sports , studies , you name it and he would be good at it. Earlier we used to be very good friends but now he has new set of friends. He is my roommate but he is mostly occupied by his new gang.

Its not like i am a complete waste, i am better than most people in coding, kindda good physic, but still i am feeling very worthless these days.

No one likes me, no body texts me, even if i text someone they reply after hours. Its not that they are busy they just don’t wanna talk with me. Even my ex seems more happier. In short i have no friends.

Also, people who have literally wasted their past years, like partying, drinking, chilling, hanging out are getting jobs and i even i tried my best i am not getting placed anywhere.

These things like , no friends , no girlfriend , not getting job is making me feel like complete shit. I feel like i am complete loser and no reason to live. People who did less work than me are getting more in their life.

Even my energy levels r completely low (currently day 17). No boner from past 6-7 days. Life is complete shit. Need some help guyz. What should i do? Should i end my life for good?

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All will be fine. Maybe now we could be hopeless, but we can change all we want. We need only get refresh and do some changes.

Maybe you van go to a pshycologist, they can help. I did it once. And in the other hand, you are not alone. Let’s talk If you want pm me. :+1:t2:

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Hi , I am 2nd year engineering student. Apart from me having placements, I can relate you by 100 percent. I even cried today for the same stuff you have mentioned just now. Now feeling better after I got the answer.

I don’t know whether my answer would satisfy you. But I believe its these moments, where you have to focus on yourself. I would also advise you ( Also an advice to myself ) do not expect respect from people for the things you are doing.

Respect comes when your hardworks meets opportunity. Opportunity doesn’t come everday.

Hope you are an Indian , If not MS Dhoni is one of the most respected captain in an entire cricket history. This is one of the movies which depicts his life story

In this scene, as you can see no one cares ( except few relatives ) a fuck about what he is doing. A random guy skipping classes to play cricket. No one is seeing him working ass off to achieve his dream.

You mentioned you have a good physique and good in academics. Keep at it. Don’t let this situation destroy you by any means.

In these moments focus on yourself without expecting respect.

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For god sake stand in front of mirror and ask yourself… why just why ?

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Stay strong buddy

  1. Analyse what is the reason that u are not getting placed
  2. Chuck the boner stuff and focus on career for now which is more important
    I do agree with having least friends
    I dont have any real and close friends except my gf and vice versa for her too
    And this breaks us many times
    But thats how it is
    Ask urself questions
    Why dont those people speak to u
    What is wrong with u
    Only u know urself better
    Ask urself questions and be truthful
    Donot answer falsely
    Donot lie to urself no matter how painful u find the answer
    Take a step and do it for urself
    Suicide is not an option
    This time too shall pass and once its over u will be more happier amd u will be greatful that u didnt quit upon urself
    All the best buddy
    All prayers to u
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When death comes before it’s time there’s always a way to escape.
U just calm down and find that way
For me it was putting a right direction to my anger and always hope for the best regards although I had my odds beating me
But still going
There’s must be a reason why u started
Get yourself together

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Its just a state of mind brother.
It will change.
Dont make your decision on temporary things like mind itself
It fluctuates every while.
Right?

Firstly, forget about the text or attention you want to receive.
I know i want it too
But the thing is i and you we are both chasing
We need to attract

And attraction is done only when you have a happy mind
You are not feeling insecure yourself
U work u do extremely hard work
Whether its just u don’t have to put this thing to where it belongs
But u did put that

This wil count.
You put yourself high in your eyes, everyone will do same
Believe in yourself brother.

I am going straight
Ending life is the easiest thing you can do to yourself
And easy things dont bring glory

Do hardwork put your image high up in your mind
Then see everyone will attract towards you

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I am also a 4th year CS student
My every friend has been placed.my family too asks me about job placements
I am so alone in this

But i have a confidence i will get higher package then them

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That’s the flat line, it’s a phase in which every addicted person starts to get withdrawal symptoms of their old and dirty habits to recover from it and get stable to normal or natural state of themselves . Flatline is basically a process in which every addict’s brain start to withdraw the thoughts which are filled with lust and guilt and also it starts to recover the hormones which are used so excessively by fapping every day or 1 - 4 time a day by watching porn . Flatline get our body functions to its natural and original state as a child who enjoy every little things and has energy all day to play , read , write , study , work and sleep peacefully .

to face the Flat line, never try to get rid of it because according to me Flatline is a very good body recovery phase which is necessary for every addict to recover from his bad habits . Without Flatline he or she will never experience the true benefits of Nofap . Flatline is like a hard struggle which we face at the time of gym , we feel lazy , bored , tired , sore , etc. but after some weeks and months we start to feel proud about our physique that we build through hard work . Just except the condition and hold on for some days and weeks , the Flatline starts to fade away and the real Nofap benefits starts to show up .

What do we face while Flatline ?

We face mood swings like tiredness , boredom , laziness , sadness , stressful , anxiety , depression , low energy levels , negative thoughts, like yours, etc… and the most important things which is low libido . Low libido means it is a state where we don’t feel any urges and sexual attraction . But it is a trap which we face by our brain and lead us to watch porn and fap . Never watch porn and don’t think about bad naked images and scenarios , because it is a small period which is just for some time and it will fade away gradually . We are afraid and cautious about our libido that why my genital organ ( penis/vagina ) don’t feel any erection or urges . We feel like we are zombies and not getting fired and sexually aroused , but it is not a case . Our brain recovers in a Flatline and gets our dopamine level to its normal state which we are constantly wasting by watching porn and fapping all day long . Once we are out from Flatline your libido will be the strongest ever from the day since you start Nofap . Just keep some patience and never fap and also never watch porn .

You can rely on people here on this forum, don’t feel alone buddy, we’ve all been there, we are all your friends, we are all you rewire companion.

Stay strong, don’t ever think that Nofap hasn’t gave you any benefits, that’s one of those Flat line negative thoughts.

Keep on brother and listen to other people’s advices, we will always support you, we will be you Rewire companion.

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Thanks guyz for all the suggestions and advices. It really helped me recover. Thanks alot everyone who replied here. Thanks alot

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I understand your plight. Several years ago, I suffered what some might call a nervous breakdown. I have suffered from depression most of my life, but have always endured my sadness, loneliness, and despair. I had good days, but the depression and unhappiness was always just below the surface.

A few years ago my world fell apart. My ex had an affair. We got divorced. I was suddenly all alone. I don’t have family near me. So, I found myself raising two kids (50/50 custody) all by myself. My ex found someone new who has many of the qualities I wish I possessed. They bought a really expensive house together while I struggle to keep a very meager home on my own.

The breaking point was when I realized just how much they were going be able to give my children that I could not. I became extremely depressed and could barely function. I was suicidal for a while and ruminated about it.

I eventually decided to end my life. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Obviously I didn’t, but I won’t tell you how close I came. Details like that can be triggering for anyone struggle with suicidal ideation.

Somehow I got myself to a hospital and was admitted for several weeks. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. They were able to get me on the right medications, but it took months for them to really work. It took me over a year to recover emotionally. I felt so helpless and hopeless. Eventually the medication worked and made a huge difference.

I still have bad days, but I don’t immediately think about suicide as the way to cope.

I also went through several out patient programs to help me manage and accept my emotions. Cognitive behavioral therapy, radical acceptance, dialectic behavior therapy, etc. Just like we are here to reprogram our brains, those programs do the same but on a much larger scale for many conditions.

I have been a loner most of my life, but am also someone who yearns to be included and accepted. It’s a hard road sometimes. There are things you can do to connect with others. I believe you can do it if you keep fighting.

I urge you to reach out to a medical professional. A biochemical imbalance is not something you can muscle your way through alone. Sometimes our bodies need help to work better and medication can often help. I also recommend finding out more about CBT. It’s a lot of work, but it’s worth it because you are worth it.

Things in life are finite. I thought I would never get better. My life is far from perfect or easy, but I have reached a point where I can manage and find peace and happiness more often than not.

If you would like to chat privately, I would be happy to do so. You are not alone. What you are going through is hard. You don’t have to do it alone.

Sending my love to you.

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It must have hit real bad. I can’t even imagine. I don’t have kids or anything but somehow I feel that so hard. How is your relationship with your kids now?

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It is really good now. There was a period of time after I left the hospital where my confidence was completely shattered. The first six months were the hardest, but it took at least a year to trust myself again. The one thing we all have is that instinct for self preservation. Once I overrode that, it messed me up psychologically. I mention that because it wasn’t until I got over all that that my relationship with my children began to turn around again. Kids look to their trusted adults for reassurance. I was so scared for myself that I couldn’t offer what they needed from me.

I relied on my ex a lot for a while. That just reinforced that I could not give my children enough or maybe that I was never going to be enough. Over time I came to understand, and eventually I really believed, that what I can provide to them has nothing to do with money or expensive gifts, new clothes, or a big fancy house. What they want and need is a father who loves them and spends time with them. So, that is what I do.

I will always wish I could give them more. That probably won’t change. But at least now I can see the things I actually can give them and understand how those things are even more important in some ways.

So, that is my answer. Our relationship was really solid when they were little, it got rocky for a while until I was able to take care of my own mental health, then it got better again. There really is truth to that saying about being on a crashing plane and putting on your own mask first. If you don’t take care of your own needs, you will eventually be unable to do so for others.

Been well. Stay strong.

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Man dont worry everything will fall into place, codijg is hard and if you are good in it you can literally become rich easil, try training in a sport maybe mma or something it gives you discipline and you become more confident in yourself , also when you start going above like 100days on nofap you will really start feeling much better , more confident etc, if you dont have any friend try going to a club ot something like that where you can meet friends and i dont mean like a disco club but to something you relate to like science or whatever you like , also if you have ever suicidal thoughts, just think of it as a war , if you lose it you have lost against this world and you let something beat you , you have 1 life dont let something else beat you , do you really think you are so weak to lose against some problems like that , no you can overcome it

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You’re not paying enough attention to yourself. It’s complicated but lets say there are two of you in one body. “You” keep looking at these couples, your roomate, and successful people and the other is getting very upset and jealous with you giving these people attention.

You’re depression is a cry from your self to be focused and paying attention, and giving compliments and rewards to your self.

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