Don’t watch, but you will notice anyway. If someone asks how they look (like police sketch), you should not be able to tell because you just noticedunintentionally for less than 0.1 second. Block this trigger and you will be happy. Don’t say that you can’t do this. I have never seen a girl properly since a long time. I am forgetting how they look. Also, one must see all women just like his own mother, except his wife. I am not crossing 90 days by cutting grass. ghaas kaat ke nahi pahucha yahan tak.One has to take extreme steps. This is not a joke. Keep going and be strong.
Just crossed day 40.I guess I am qualified to answer your query then.
I wrote this post on aoshigreen’s daily check in group. Just copying and pasting here.
If you have got a habit of gazing at those parts of girls. Always, make sure that whenever you look at someone(even strangers) you look directly at their their face. Observe their expression, put yourself into their shoes. Feel the cheerfulness, the agony, the smile,the pain, etc that they are going through . It not only makes you aware of you your current crooked state of mind but also helps to develop respect for women and men alike. It allows you to percieve them as human beings than just toys.
To tame your mind to work according to your will, use the following analogy.
Think of your mind as a 5 yr old kid. Your body as some form of vehicle (preferably a car). Yourself as his parent (as some form of energy, prana as they say in India).
When you feel your mind is not in your control, think of it as the kid is driving the car and not you. Gently ask the control back( toddlers are not allowed to drive cars, you know😜).
Whenever you feel depressed, happy, sad etc, relate it to activities that kids generally do. Make sure you tell him that you(as a parent) are always there to support him. Always there to guide him to the right path. That you will never let him fail(or fall).Take him in your arms and console him. When the mind does something wrong, be strict with him. Don’t allow him his candies ( by not doing the stuff you like). And so on. Be a good parent. Watch your toddler grow up into a man. Guide him on the path. Be patient. Know that children take time to grow. Watch him do mistakes, watch him learn. DON’T let him ruin his ‘life’, as a parent shouldn’t .
The idea that I put in play here is that children by their very nature are playful and restless(like our addicted minds). However, as they grow up to become adults they become stable. Parents are the one who make that happen.
Will power is an exhaustive resource. Relying on it solely can make us depressed. Self disciplene is its superior sustitute. And one has got to admit that attaining self disciplene is not a piece of cake. This is the best way I could come up with to have it. Hope it helps.
Erotic dreams act as block for me too. Btw before coming here, I was having extreme urges due the same. My mind had gotten to the point where it said lets open *** and do **. (I wasn’t asleep. I was lying down and my half asleep mind was full of these erotic thoughts)
I woke myself up. Went outside. Took a walk at a slow and steady pace. All the while brainstorming about why was I having these thoughts anyway? Halfway through the walk, my mind gave in and I (the prana) got to drive. My senses were back. And I am here rather than on a ** site. Was a close call. I would definately love to have a permanent solution to these erotic thoughts.
Yr second response was so relatable to me on day 40++. Now I’m on day 56. The subconscious still has its power but not as strong. Maybe emperors could share about when this perverted subconscious turn to silence and listen to the voice of the soul. Good luck on reaching day 50. You’ll be grateful!!
Hang in there bro. I see it there is two ways, either you prison yourself from getting these triggers or if you are able to pull yourself together and go out with the 1 second rule. Remember, it’s just a rule. The real battle is in the heart. To really do NoFap or not. But sometimes we addict can’t be absolutely honest, thus we have to do it both ways. Stop this from inside and outside.
Try as best to be really honest from the inside, and secondly keep abiding by the rules on the outside. You set your own rules as you know yourself better, what, when, how is your weakness
Day 58 here. Around day 50 ish I was having strong urges, and since I have any erotic site blocked on my laptop and mobile through hosts file, I googled images for my fav pornstar. I did that for the next day also. Then suddenly I realized I was pushing myself down the hill, had to stop. I just wanted to have a wet dream to release the pent up stress.
However, I found something better. Subliminal messages audio for sleeping. I liked that from an YouTube channel named ‘Dauchsy’. I play it on loop every night and sleep. No wet dreams till now and no urge to force one also. Reduced my ‘hunger’ for women also.
Maybe i am not qualified enough to give advice to you but i believe you are doing this wrong.
Let it be natural. Exhaust yourself during the day & even then if you didnt sleep then dont panic… just have rest or do something else.
Women come and go like waves in the ocean. Don’t think about it after it passes. Use it as a boost for energy. You only giving it more power over you when you flee from women. Temperence is the key. I even flirt with women and it’s not a big deal I just don’t think about it afterwards.
Don’t give yourself permission to ogle at women but like @tmeidan93 says it is not helpful to try fleeing from women or fearing them, as that will only give undue power to your compulsion. It’s ok, you can withstand a few interactions with women as long as you do so from a position of genuineness and calm self confidence.
Regarding my personal experience, this is less of a problem for me than most guys because I trained myself not to stare sexually at women’s bodies from a young age - yes I was pretty hard on myself and have actually needed to teach myself to loosen up a little in later years. Having said that, I have experienced that allowing myself to look at women sexually or for too long gradually builds up sexual thoughts in overall over a period of days, even if it appears to be harmless fun initially. So if I am doing NoFap (and I am currently on 115 days of hard mode), then I gently remind myself that girl-watching doesn’t align with my current goals. Or more precisely, I remind myself that I should not look at a woman sexually unless I am prepared to walk up to her and open a conversation with her and be upfront about my interest in her. It usually works.