From the Old Man

it seems like most of you on here are young. At least young compared to me. I am 49 and will be 50 this year. I have been sucked into this world of porn for over 30 years. Trust me you do not want to be in my shoes. Trying to get through the withdrawals when you are trying to run a business, raise a family and take care of major responsibilities is a nightmare. You think it’s hard in your twenties, wait until you have an anxiety attack on the highway while driving your kid to soccer practice or something like that. I ended up in the hospital in 2010 with my first major panic attack although at the time I did not connect it to my porn use. Only in about the last 6 months did I start to connect the dots with the damage I’ve done to my brain and the physical and mental issues I have been having for the last 8 years. I have so many more things I could relate to you but for now let me just leave you with one little helpful hint that I haven’t seen mentioned on this forum or any other form on the internet. The withdrawals, especially the nightmarish anxiety, can be somewhat reduced if you take ashwagandha. I take 470 mg in the morning and another 470 mg at night and it took about 2 weeks to start working, but once it did it eliminated my anxiety by about 80%. The caveat to that is that if you relapse the neuro chemicals in your brain get so out of whack that you’re withdrawals are ten times worse than the first time you started. I have garnered so much help from people on this and other forms and I only hope to do the same for others as we travel through this journey together. I will write more later but for now I wish all of you the best of luck.

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Good to see that even old men (sorry but you said it yourself lol) are seeing that porn has very negative effects on the brain and on life. Welcome to the community! :slight_smile: Hope all goes well for ya on this journey.

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I’m 40, so I’m also in the oldish side😀 I’m a single father for the past 9 years. It has been a struggle trying to juggle parenting, a career, and managing a household. I began eliminating things from my life that were barriers to success. I got most of the things that were holding us back out of our lives, and things were still so hard. I also went through anxiety, depression, and social anxiety. After eliminating most of the problems the biggest barrier left was porn. That really brought into focus how big of a problem pornography had become for me. I came to this conclusion about two years ago, but I’ve been helpless to stop on my own for more than a couple days. I’m going on 6 days today which believe it or not is the longest I’ve gone in close to 20 years. If you’re looking for someone to talk to that is dealing with similar pressures as you, contact me. (I haven’t quite figured out the code thing yet.)

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6 days may not sound like a lot but if you experience any of the withdrawal symptoms like I do I know that 6 days can seem like 6 years. I am just over three days today which based on other previous times is my worst possible day. I went off on my kid today and I went off on my wife today and I knew it was because my brain was screaming out for its dopamine fix. I could barely control myself so I left the house. That just made me feel even worse because I knew I was being irrational but I cannot control it. For years and years deep down inside I had a gut feeling always telling me that this was going to come back to bite me somehow. At the time I did not realize how severe or how damaging it really was. I started studying neuroscience, the brain and natural supplements desperately trying to find answers and solutions to what I was going through. One day about six or eight months ago I stumbled across the your brain on p*** website and it hit me like a ton of bricks. And that’s about when I began this journey of trying to stop completely. I’ve had some good streaks of a, 16, even 21 days and then for whatever reason I slip. What is so Twisted about all this is I’ve gone long enough without it to where my erections actually start to come back. I started getting Ed maybe about 5 or 6 years ago and just wrote it off to being older. And let me paint an even clearer picture for you, I have a beautiful gorgeous super hot wife. We haven’t had sex in years. This morning when I went for my normal walk on the beach it was extra warm today and the beach was packed full of beautiful women in little bikinis so I am surrounded on a daily basis almost with triggers to compound matters. Nevertheless, although the picture sounds very bleak I have an amazing family and I have to become a better man for them. It’s now or never for me. I’ve read these threads for years and I’ve tried to do it on my own but I realize that that is not working for me so here I am. I appreciate you guys sharing all your stories with me as well and believe me it is very very helpful.

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And oh yeah, I do not understand the code thing whatsoever either. I will maybe look into that later when I get more time.

A man is same age as yours.
He is @kamafeo
You two can be the old dogs of this nf community but you two have to conquer the pmo habit first.
I like your post very much. Its inspiring and motivating for young ones @SeeMo
Take a note bro. Dont make your life like this. Time is still with you.
And for @rustygotbanned man dont get discourged due to old age. Still you can make a lot out of the years left with you by following brahmacharya/hard mode nopmo

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Thank you for sharing your experiences. We will learn from it @rustygotbanned

That’s amazing I thought it was only young guy having this struggle but the fact you are fighting it is already great keep posting talk to the community

Being able to come to this forum when I’ve been having urges has made a difference. Before, I had nowhere to go and nobody to talk with. The urges have been frequent, but Ive been able to resist so far. My biggest problem with PMO has been once I start watching, I can edge for hours and hours and hours. This week of nofap has been the most consecutive nights in a row of close to a full night’s sleep in a very long time. So the healthy feeling of being rested is making resisting the urges easier. Last night, every dream was a temptation and my mind woke me up after each one. I came close to masterbation without porn, but I really want to finish what I started and allow my brain to go back to normal. I’ve been finding other things to do, and for immediate urges, I come here and express how I’m feeling. By the time im done typing, the urge to look at porn is still there, but i’m able to talk myself out of it. All those late nights feeling like I was on an island alone battling my porn addiction was the worst feeling. I’ve told one friend of my struggles with porn, but I’m afraid of people judging me, so I couldn’t ask for help. I’m not sure everyone else’s experiences telling their wife, family, or friends. Does anyone have a story of how they told people close to them of their PMO addiction? You have all the answers in your head. You already told us that you know you have something great and that a better and happier life is a head for you when you beat this.

After I got my kids full time, I tried dating a few times, but realized I couldn’t meet all my other responsibilities and put in the time to make a relationship work. It was the right choice, but also a lonely choice. The porn issues kept getting worse and worse after that. It’s been 5+ years, and I’m ready to find a partner that makes me happy, but I need to beat this first. I saw some of the same information about your brain on porn and I realized that without a reboot, there was a much greater chance that my porn damaged brain would lead me toward dating the wrong people. That is some of my story, what brought me to this forum, and what I’m hoping to gain from beating this monster.

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