“Pain so deep it hurts physically. Times so dark it hurts to open your eyes.”
That was my reality. But today, as I write this I can say this with conviction: If I can overcome it, anyone can.
The Accidental Fall
It began innocently. I was just a curious 9–10-year-old, addicted to video games. One day, while downloading a game, I accidentally clicked on an ad that led me to explicit content. I had no idea what I was watching. I felt disgusted, confused, and guilty. That night, I made a silent promise to myself: I’ll never see such stuff again.
At that time, I was a brilliant student—the top of my class. I was focused, driven, and full of potential.
But life had other plans.
The Descent into Darkness
As I entered adolescence, things started changing—slowly, subtly. I remember the first time I masturbated. The surge of dopamine was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Over time, I started watching explicit content more frequently, and soon, it became a daily habit. What I didn’t realize was that this behavior was planting seeds of destruction in every corner of my life.
By Class 9, I was still topping my class—but only academically. Deep inside, I was falling apart. I became weak—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I was bullied in school, not just because I was skinny, but because I had no strength, no presence, and no self-worth. I was living a double life—one of achievements, and one of intense shame.
Slowly, I lost my rank. I was no longer even average. I had become the worst version of myself:
- Addicted to prn.
- Addicted to video games.
- Isolated from the real world.
- Weak, anxious, hopeless.
My day would begin and end with the same toxic cycle. I wasn’t living—I was surviving.
Hitting Rock Bottom
I vividly remember the nights I used to cry myself to sleep.
There were days I would beg God not to let me wake up the next morning.
I had lost all hope. I hated who I had become. My self-esteem was in shambles. I was a pervert, a slave to pleasure, and a coward running from pain.
The Turning Point
One day, I noticed something interesting. On the rare days I didn’t watch prn or masturbate, I felt slightly better—more alive, more present. I had more energy. I could think clearly. That’s when I started researching and came across a community called NoFap.
I listened to their stories.
I saw my life reflected in their words.
And for the first time in years, I felt hope.
That’s when I made the most important decision of my life:
To reclaim my manhood, my discipline, my life.
The Rise After the Fall
I took the NoFap challenge seriously. And yes, the initial days were brutal. The urges were unbearable. The temptation felt like fire under my skin. But something inside me had shifted. I was done being a slave.
I failed—countless times.
But every time I fell, I stood back up.
Each relapse taught me something new. Each small victory built my confidence.
And slowly…
- The brain fog lifted.
- My energy returned.
- My confidence skyrocketed.
- My purpose became crystal clear.
From Rock Bottom to Medical School
Fast forward to today:
I cracked one of the toughest competitive exams in India with a 6,000 All India Rank.
I’m now pursuing MBBS.
I exercise daily. I read. I teach. I aim to crack USMLE and become one of the world’s top doctors.
And most importantly, I’ve become a disciplined man.
The Road Is Not Linear
After staying clean for 1.5 years, I did relapse. It hurt. But I got back up.
This journey isn’t a straight line. There are peaks and valleys. But remember this -
It doesn’t matter how many times you fall. What matters is how many times you rise.
Let Me Help You
If you’re struggling with prn addiction, I want you to know: You’re not alone.
I’ve been there. I’ve seen the darkness. And I’ve found a way out.
I’d love to share the resources, tools, and mindset strategies that helped me overcome this battle.
Join this telegram group so that we can support each other - Telegram: Join Group Chat
Together, we can build a generation of strong, disciplined men—free from addiction and full of purpose.
Final Words:
Your past does not define your future. Your discipline does.
Be the man your younger self needed. Be the man your future self will thank you for.
You’ve got this.