On the night I broke up with the best girlfriend I ever had, I realized I wanted to change my life. I wanted my happiness to depend on me only. So I looked at my web history and found out I had completed my first 24 hours of NoFap, and started from there.
I thought about NoFap for some years, but never tried it. And this was my first ‘attempt’. Well, it was never really an attempt, really. It would mean failure was an option.
There was that boost from the breakup, which helped in the beggining. But to keep on track, you need persistence. You don’t break a 16 years old addiction pattern easily. It takes effort. And to persist you need strength. Specially for hard mode.
Strength I didn’t know I had, really. I was a big time loser 'til then. I felt straight-up weak. So I had to search for said strength, as I no longer felt like I needed to change my life. Oh no, ‘need’ is too weak. I now ‘wanted’ to change my life. Despite the odds. Despite difficulties. And by wanting I found my strength. And it has taken me this far. And I have no idea how far it’ll take me.
So I wrote this huge text. Too long compared to the usual, I know, but thanks for reading it anyway. For I write so I can thank you. Directly or not, you helped me by being part of this community. By giving me the opportunity not only to get help, but also to help you. For there is no greater strength than compassion.
Yes, compassion. I understand you struggle. I know how helpless and weak you feel (or felt) and how you wonder where to get some of that strength too. But you don’t need to ‘create’ it. It’s already within you. Just find reasons and feelings that show you how much you WANT to live a happy, healthy life. And your inner strength will appear. It’s just hidden. And not very well hidden, if you ask me.
So, thank you so much for the support. Now let’s go for those 120 days. What? You thought I was done?