Feeling awful, can't get myself out of this state

hey guys

I can’t breath properly, can’t concentrate, very anxious. want to hurt myself or hit something, I feel like relapsing to fail to punish my self not even for the sake of enjoying it, it takes a minute Just to emphasise to myself that I’m not good. Thats in simple words.

God, I can’t descripe it in english.

I need guide in real life, sadly couldn’t get one so far, although I had contacted quite few.

I have obligations, I’m not answering to any, I’m about to collapse from the inside.

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We got same condition, what about making a plan together to quit??yesterday i relapse on 17 days streak

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Idk if I can.
I need to add objective thinking to my life, and let it run less on Autopilot. Its fixing all my life not urges

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