The childhood intrest of mine was tech related I wanted to do and learn things related to coding hence I wanted to be Actuarial scientist as the work with corporate data and data analysis involves coding but this tech world destroyed me so I am trying to avoid phone and tech related things as I know I am not disciplined enough to do what I want to do I might end up at a qorn site so for now I will look for some other intrest of mine and thanks once again for the ignoring advice i will consider that
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My dear brother, let me tell you something. Never give up on your dreams. Our dreams and hopes for the future are the lights that brighten up the darknesses of this world. Each dream is placed upon the heart by God, there is something special that we are supposed to contribute to our brothers and sisters in humanity.
Donât allow the addiction to take away your dreams. You wanted to be involved in tech from a young age, that is a precious dream to take care of. You can beat this addiction for good. You donât have to live in fear of technology. You donât have to avoid smartphones and the Internet. You donât have to worry that any access to broadband will lead to an eventual visit to a pornographic website.
Technology itself is not bad. It can be used for so much good in this world. Yes, of course we are very aware of how much pornography is available on the Internet. But there are also resources for education, entertainment, support, self-development, communication with loved ones, collaboration with people who have similar interests. Without the Internet and technology, you and I couldnât connect in a community like this where we have dealt with the same addiction. Here, I can speak with someone who is on day 1 and restarting their journey against addiction, and I can speak with someone who has been clean of addiction for multiple years.
There is a therapist on YouTube who has over 20 years clean from PMO addiction. He isnât afraid of having a YouTube channel. He isnât concerned about the temptation of literally millions of videos that he has never seen before, available to access through a quick Google search. He has a more important vision of helping people out of addiction and supporting the world. You donât have to leave in fear of the addiction - it should live in fear of you. You are the one who has the power to kill it for good.
If you want to work in tech, work towards that. Actuarial science is very useful in this world, you can do a lot of good. And itâs always great when someone can work in a field they are passionate about - it makes them happier and they do a better job than others simply in it for the money.
Youâre welcome brother. Stay strong, keep going.
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Day 3 So I am currently a little sick, was bedridden for a week or so, was some kind of stomach infection, i mentioned that in some previous, got able to walk today but still got some fever and in the meantime got 2 wet dream which is relapse as I was on hard mode. I am getting better. Will post regularly within a week (I wish) will sleep around 10
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Day 4 Got much better now even did light workout woke up at 6. Stomach issue is gone but still little fever in the morning but soaked in sun and fever was gone, feeling back on track
The day I began this diary still marks as the day of funeral of all my dreams. I really want to pursue them but I have realised that times up for me. My parents are at 50âs still working hard to provide for me and my sisters they donât have much time, they are perfectly healthy now by godâs grace but, since I can remember the have worked hard to provide for us. The never get to rest nor any enjoyment. Whereas I was enjoying the most pathetic thing there is in the exchange of my health and time. No all I can be proud of is by seeing them enjoying. And yes I havenât completely forgotten my dreams, I still hope that after i have accomplished my goal to retire my parents I will try to work in that path. That to be honest looks like a distant dream currently. This is the sole reason that I would rather die than watch quorn
And about the gods purpose, yes I have accepted defeat in accomplishing that, as all I wanna do is serve my parents and I pray to God for strength to do so. And I leave the duty to brighten the world to you all, as for me it just distant dream.
Thanks for the advice anyways
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Day 5 Got up late 8 am not proper work out done nothing productive done whole day will sleep around 11
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Feeling exhausted is normal the first few days of nofap because PMO use up large amount of energy. As your journey goes, youâll become more energetic and more productive.
Youâre a really good son, keep thinking about your parents, how you can give your parents fortune and happiness after they retire, becoming the son that your parents are proud of, will fuel you up throughout the nofap journey. You will succeed, my bro.
And once you have accomplished so many good deeds, Iâm sure God will reward you with your dream comes true 
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Day 6 Woke up at 7 decent work out then a decent walk in the nearby park, hasnât studied very productively I used to. Drinking good quantity of water as I am feeling thirsty more often for some reason will probably sleep around 11
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Day 7 woke up at 8 and had to go for some household chores so couldnât do much workout but health is back on track, and just finished reading a book about seman retention, it was overwhelming to cramp so much information about seman retention as I never gave it so much thaught before. Now I kinda understand why do I have so much energy. I will talk about the book in some other post.
So read a book and will workout in the evening and probably sleep around 11
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Great job bro, youâre rising up 
Yes semen is the essence of our body, literally our bone marrow and cerebrospinal fluid (knowledge from Chinese medicine). We need huge amount of energy to recover after semen loss.
Look forward to this, please share with us this book and the knowledge you gained
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MUST READ
This is unrelated
So why retaining your seed gives you extra energy reserve, this is a theory from ancient scriptures as per the book, that I recently read. The seed is a combination of different types of minerals and vitamins that our body needs for some other purpose as well. When you waste the seed you just waste all these vitamins and minerals, but when you stop wasting it your body holds it And you can easily feel the difference. As now many things will change. Reproduction is one of the most important things and your seed is very essential according to your body to reproduce, so your body keeps making seed and all the resources that you accumulate through eating is used to make seed as when you are wasting it often. But in the scenario you are retaining it, the resources can go to some other things like nourishment for your brain, increasing muscle mass, and treatment of many small health related problems that appears out of nowhere, many might argue that if you donât use your seed or get rid of your seed, your body will do it for you as night fall. Itâs wrong theory, because nightfall happens due to your excessive sensitive in your genital area, as your genital is highly sensitive even a little sensation in sleep can cause night fall, hence if youâve had nightfall for 2 times a week after starting retention itâs normal but if nightfall continues for long itâs also problematic but donât worry at some point it will stop once your genital becomes normally sensitive. And if itâs still not stopping them you might be edging and not giving your genital time to recover the ultra sensitive problem. Retention helps the seed to be stored and once the seed gets old the body breaks the seed down into minerals and makes new seed using these broken down minerals, in this way the body doesnât have to burden our food to get extra resources for making seed.
When youâre retaining the stored seed becomes a battery for extra energy, as your body is not wasting energy to make extra seed every minute, which everyone on retention feels, but when you are longer on the journey of retention this battery becomes part of your natural energy reserve as the extra energy is not new. I am using this example as itâs difficult to explain with normal words. You will only know if you experience it. That excess energy is the reason for a man to be stronger than women physically.
Well this is not about pon addiction which can affect both men or women mentally and physically.
And the book also covered several topics. obviously I canât cover all that through post
Why you should never masturbate
And currently reading easy peasy method
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Great insight, I never thought this way. This justifies many nofappers shared that they are not tired after hours of work or exercise. We have the energy reserve in our body, itâs our choice to use it wisely or waste it meaninglessly.
I would add a point that P will drain our energy even further, we feel extremely exhausted after PMO and need days to replenish. Also we canât help but M if we watch P. So we need to say no to both P and M.
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Day 8 woke up at 6 due to some noise that a stray cat was making as she got stuck on the stairway on the pull door, has to get him out of there but she was sleepy, poor thing might be stuck there whole night. Now she is just fine playing outside with other stray animals. Did no workout in the morning but will workout in evening. will probably sleep around 11 as I slept in the evening, which was a bad decision
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Day 10 woke up at 6 in the morning saw something tempting in the dream but woke up before night fall could happen, i think I have to work out a little more. Will sleep around 10
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Must read if relapsed
So recently I have been hitting consistently 16 to 17 days mark on monk mode i.e. without edging without peeking etc, infact I had 2 nightfall after 16 to 17 days each time that I counted as relapse hence my current streak, so the point that made me so clear about not doing masturbation and not involving in qorn are as follows
You have to see masturbation and qorn as disease that you have to cure, a slavery that you have to break free from
You should have made a clear mind that you wanna quit as itâs not fun and itâs ruined your life.
Make sure that you wanna quit because you have a greater purpose in life
You are quitting because itâs destroyed your life and itâs not fun when you last watched it rather you hated your last time that why you decided to quit
You have to literally do nothing to quit infact you were putting effort to watch. effort like finding best video on thousands of website, making sure you are alone, making sure no one is watching etc but to quit you have to stop doing everything
And most important
You already had your last PMO session that you hated thatâs why you decided to quit foreverâ then how are you thinking you will enjoy it now.
As soon as you decided that you donât want to do PMO just find greater purpose and work towards it
Remember if you have decided to quit then you will have to suffer what you are suffering one again whe you try next time and all you have suffered so far will be wasted
Source of this information is book easy peasy you all should have already read it, if not then please read it asap it would help immensely
Thanks for reading
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THIS.
Imagine finally learning that we were spending additional time, energy, health etc. for nothing in return. Quitting isnât difficult because you were wasting all of that effort into something unproductive. Once you stop, all that unspent energy will naturally be directed at the things that you care about.
One day, you will have your last PMO session, and decide that enough is enough. Commit to that today.
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Great insight. I will keep this in mind whenever I have urges.
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Day 11 so am facing an urge right now at the very moment as I am home alone, I am typing this and feel some liquid comming out of my genital, itâs really strong urge but I know I can deal with this. woke up at 7 soaked in sun little exercise done as my wrist hurts whenever I use it, so I am just relying on situps, took a small walk outside and now will do situps again until my legs canât move
Will sleep around 11
And I think I am wasting lot of time on internet so I will be off of this app as well but will still try to update everyday
Edit
Did 70 + 10 situps in set
30+20+20+10with support
Herd some creeks in my joint please advise what that might be
And now will meditate until my family comes back
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Do you stretch after you workout?
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I stretch before I start work out like I did now