Hello everyone, first I would like to introduce myself. I am 17 years old, I come from Central Europe and I am a Christian. I’ve been struggling with masturbation addiction and everything related to it for a while now. What bothers me the most is my weak will, whenever I set my mind to something, I never do it. I procrastinate a lot, get bad grades in school, put in little effort, and spend a lot of time on my phone. I am training soccer, the only thing I’m good at. A while back I started watching podcasts from Andrew Tate and I started looking at things differently. The desire to become something more was awakened in me. I would like to clarify the title of this journal. The Matrix for me is the state of mind and everything around us that makes us weak. Watching TV, browsing the phone, arguing about what someone said, watching ■■■■, eating crappy food,… and so we always stay distracted and don’t work hard on ourselves to become the best version of ourself. My goal is that from the moment I hang up phone I dedicate myself to hard work and succeed in life and I never jerk off again. The goal is to have good grades in school, be the best at soccer, and to have PURE THOUGHTS, AND A STRONG WILL, WHATEVER I TELL MYSELF I DO IT AND I DON’T PROCRASTINATE ANYMORE. Every night before I go to sleep, I will write down what I did about it, mainly to stay accountable to myself. If someone ever looks at my diary I will be happy, but otherwise I will write for myself so that I can have a view of my journey.
I would like to conclude with two quotes from Andrew Tate:
- "I don’t think there’s a person on the planet who has a 100% approval rate. There’s always gonna be someone who disagrees with what you say.”
2)“You can become rich, you can become strong, you can take care of your loved ones and enjoy the fact it will be very difficult.”
my sharing code : g2gp88
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I’m happy to see you’re taking control of your life at such a young age. This is the right time. Attack the Matrix and set yourself free.
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Nothing much happened for the rest of the day. I studied for 4 hours for a physics test tomorrow. In the evening I watched a 1 hour long video on yt about monke mode, because I decided to go on it to be as focused as possible on my goals. I wasn’t on my phone much other than that, I wasn’t watching TV. I’m already looking forward to tomorrow
my goals for tomorrow :
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if anyone is interested in the monk mode video i listened to today, here’s the link:
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I didn’t watch the video but I’m guessing this must be a difficult process. Good for you on taking new challenges. Just a word of caution, don’t get disheartened if you fail to complete this undertaking. Often we take difficult challenges when we’re starting out our NoFap journey and not being able to triumph sends us on a downward spiral. I hope you succeed the first time around. However, remember to get up and fight back in case you don’t.
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I had a busy day today. I had a class in the morning that lasted until two. I wrote physics and got 70%. Unfortunately, I got back the test from chemistry where I wrote 49%, 50% is needed for a positive grade. You can imagine how angry I was. In the afternoon I studied, had a meeting with the football coach and then training. I haven’t been able to do my training for my football injury which I’m very angry about. The physiotherapist told me that I must do it every day!! After training, I studied for an hour. I wasn’t on the phone much, half an hour max, I didn’t watch TV.
My goals for tomorrow:
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I had another busy day today. I had classes in the morning until 4 in the afternoon. After that, I had to go to another city, a 1-hour drive by car. I did training there for the injury (now I’m back on the field, and I’m doing rehabilitation to be 100% injury-free). Workout went on for an hour, then I returned home. I’m currently living in a student dormitory, and when I arrived I went to study because I’m writing a biology test on Friday. After that, I wanted to read a book and also learn math, but my roommate was too disruptive (he doesn’t pay attention to anyone, he listens to music loudly. …) so I couldn’t do it. Anyway, it’s been a long time and I need sleep. I talked to my father today that the next 2 months are going to be the hardest. Because I had so many problems with ■■■■ addiction, I had very poor mental health, so I didn’t study, and as a result, I have bad grades. I have about 16 tests in the next 2 months, and I really dont want to fail the class. That’s why my focus is on studying, as well as on the exercises I have to do every day and soccer training. You must know that until a few days ago I was jerking off 3 times a day, so it is a big thing for me that I started taking back control over my life. I am also working on money and hope to earn around €50 over the weekend.
my goals for tomorrow:
Good night
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Well done bro! Good on you for taking responsibility at such a young age. More power to you! 
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Today I had a school from 8 to 3 in the afternoon. Then I studied until football practice, went to practice, after practice I did the exercises that I have to do every day for certain muscles, then I went to study again and that was it. I expect that tomorrow will be a very demanding day. Now I’m going to bed as soon as possible because it’s already late.
my goals for tomorrow:
I also hope that I will earn some money tomorrow🤞
Good night
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Yep, they’ll be put in house arrest. Eager to hear from them. It’s been so long.
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One step closer to freedom. We know how badly they treated him in prison, so this is a big step.
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I forgot to write in my diary yesterday. Shortly after class I did long injury training, it took a lot of time, I was exhausted from a long week and went to bed in the evening. I could do more. The news that the Tate brothers were released from prison to house arrest made my day. Today is a new day that should be productive.
my goals for today
I also hope to earn some money today…
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The last few days I have been inconsistent when it comes to writing in my diary. To summarize the weekend, I did some work, but significantly not enough, I could have been much more productive. I was very productive again yesterday and did all of my tasks for the day. In the evening, if I have some time left, I watch the last podcast that Andrew Tate recorded before he was detained and it is very good. Many things are well said and remind me why I have to work hard.
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I’ve been inconsistent with my journaling again these past few days. In short, yesterday I did all the tasks I set for the day except for very important one. Today I got 85% in psychology. Today I did everything I set out to do. I’ve been productive. I’ve been very busy lately. If I’m being completely honest, today was the first time I got a little bigger urges, of course I remained undefeated, but I didn’t like it. That’s it for today. See you tomorrow.
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Again, I haven’t written in the last few days, so I’ll summarize everything now. I’ve been fairly productive, except for yesterday where I did half of what I should have done. Before I started journaling and decided to change my life, I masturbated twice a day. Everyday. I hit 11 days yesterday and then lost it in the evening. How do I feel? Excellent. I have jerked off once in the last 12 days which is a huge improvement. And in those 11 days I never had the need for it, yesterday I consciously decided to do it (I know I shouldn’t) and not because I couldn’t stand without it and because I would be too addicted. I’ve found that I’m not even interested in these things anymore because it’s so unnatural to me. When I have a girlfriend I will do this with her because of course it is normal. But I don’t see in ■■■■ anymore what I used to see. I think this time I’m ready to easily go through 11 days or never repeat this act again. My will and brain are slowly getting used to hard work. I am very happy. If you want you can share your opinion with me. Otherwise, i will go back to work. And let’s not forget that what we did while we were on a streak is important. It would be completely useless for someone to practice nofap and then play video games and watch TV every day. So, let’s work hard.
If anyone would like proof for my words here’s
my sharing code: g2gp88
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Because I am honest and take responsibility for everything that happens in my life, I will also say what is difficult for me now. Late at night I lost again. It seems the first defeat hit me harder than I thought. It’s good to be honest with myself, admit it and move on. For a moment I thought I could just delete this diary and my profile and avoid the shame. But that’s not me. I will get over this and become even stronger than before. Amen.
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I’m proud of you for taking the difficult path and remaining here, being honest and determined to move past this. It’s not easy to confront that shame but you will thank yourself later on. It’s inspiring to see.
New start brother.
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There is no shame in this. Shame would’ve been when you would’ve quit trying. All of us have lost numerous times before we finally broke through.
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You’re right. It is difficult to go out of the comfort zone. But it allows us to grow. I have to act like a man. And start working even harder than I did before. Thanks for the support, even though I don’t deserve it.
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