I’ve first tried nofap in my mid to late teens and i didn’t know to handle it so i was looking for ways to ejaculate hands free. So i got into erotic hypnosis and around that time started ritalin type medication. 5 years later, i never managed to ejaculate handsfree, i wasted countless hours and the medication intensified my capability to watch porn for hours (i remember days where i watched porn 24h straight without masturbating). I quit it and when i started again i fell back to those things and weird fetished.
All that bs i don’t want anymore. I wanna be clear in my head and in control of all my senses. Feel free to share if you had any similar experiences.