I am really looking for ways to cope here. To everyone here please think of this post as a call for help from a sister and do not let your brain wander to areas which will only bring regret and sorrow.
1). I do think my porn addiction is prodding me to seek out attention but sometimes I am unable to understand the nature of the attraction felt. How do you differentiate between an ordinary need to be shown affection against such a feeling arising out of the masturbation addiction? Is is possible even to distinguish between the two? I want to know what is healthy and what is not.
2). What I am worried most about is that porn has become a part of me and now to an extent defines me. The guilt and shame is really making it difficult to function. I constantly feel as if everyone is knowing everything about me and noticing me. How to cope with that constant anxiety?
3). The mechanism for girls is a bit different so when gripped with sexual thoughts I tend to feel warmth and wetness which does gross me out. The increase in the time spent on such thoughts only aggravates it. How do I instantly shift focus and deal with it. Do understand that since the physical change (wetness) persists on the inside, so how should it be coped with.
It would be particularly helpful if you could offer some strategies in the form of TASKS/THINGS TO DO so that I can try them out.