Hi everyone (take care, this thread contains thoughts about porn / pornstars and so on. More in a disgusting way, so it shouldn’t trigger anyone).
I hope it is not too confusingly written. My head feels like a mess at the moment.
Today, I had one of those overconfident days where I almost relapsed. I already opened the site but then was like hmmm. Are my thoughts correct?
Let’s explain: the only thing that still triggered my were the thoughts of cam girls. I always thought that porn is like the real evil but cam isn’t that bad since the girls are enjoying it. There is no one forcing them to do it. So, after beginning to watch I opened a google tap an searched for how cam girls really feel about their job. And my mind got absolutely destroyed by what I read the next hour, crying in front of my computer, really realizing for the first time what kind of industry I support by watching absolutely any kind of photoshoot, stripping, cam, softcore, hardcore. It doesn’t matter!
I think most of us say that we know that it is bad and we do care. But tonight a switch in my head turned. I now truly understand it
I don’t know how many of you really understand what we are doing. I always thought that I really care about girls. I only watch what they enjoy. But today I found out that I helped destroying the lifes of so many women and that I wanna stop not only for my own health but to help them! Just some points summarized from my hour of reading:
- why should a cam girl enjoy her job? They know that on the other side of the screen are hundreds of men with their dick in their hand only interested in paying money so that she does what he likes (really imagine how disgusting that is). We are not at all interested in the girl we just wanna have something thrilling to watch, sending her pictures of our dick, and only wanna fuck her.
And what happens if the people in the real life figure out what she is doing? She will lose her friends and be alone. She will be abused and blackmailed!
- I guess most of us have the same habit of watching porn. We start with softcore porn and after 30minutes or so we are at the real hard stuff. Where the women get hurt, discriminated, used as a tool for sex. They are not treated as if they are worth anything in a single porn.
The thing that broke my heart was one expornstar writing that often, the only difference of what they did and rapping her was that she got paid for it.
- And even if we watch “nice stuff” we are still just watching what WE are enjoying. There is absolutely no room for joy on the porn set. It’s about time, money and shooting what WE wanna see. It doesn’t matter if she likes it anal or not, doesn’t matter if the guy is HIV-positiv or not. We wanna watch a new movie so they produce a new movie!
How can we support that? We are not bad people! If we truly realize what we are watching maybe the mind will realize what it is doing. So, I beg you guys. I know quitting porn is hard.
I once read that one way to stop smoking is, that for one week each time you smoke you try to truly figure out how it smells, tastes, feels and that you will stop afterwards since you figure out that it truly is crap. It’s not that easy with porn but if you relapse and watch any kind of porn try to think of the life of these girls. Think of what you are doing to her right now:
- In the best case, she looses her friends, her family, her free will
- In the worst she gets raped, beaten, chocked, she will fall into an addition on her own and tries to commit suicide or gets killed.
Do you really want that? Do you feel joy about that?
If that doesn’t help, google stories of expornstars on your own (you will find thousands) or follow this link. You can read one topic for every urge you have and you won’t get through the whole page