I may sound stupid when i say this but i am beginning to think those of us who are pmo addicted don’t have much say in this matter. I am 26 now, i have been pmoing since i was in early teens. All these years i have bben trying to quit, doing my own research, using willpower, distractions, exercise,morality,etc but none have worked. Yes, i have had some long streaks but i always end up pmoing again. It feels like it’s something out of my control as if it has already been decided that i wound up as an addict. Looking back i don’t know how or why i got addicted in the first place. There was no reason simply for me to rely on any external simulation or substance. I neither had family issues nor in school. I was good kid at both home and school. Yes, i was kind of introverted kid but i had my own friend circle then. I also was good student and never got into any trouble. It all changed when one of my distant relatives showed me for the first time. It was a small clip on a nokia if i remember correctly. Being a kid i didn’t knew what it was at the time but somehow my mind was telling me that i was seeing things i wasn’t suppose to see. A few years later i first f*p when i was at grade 7 watching a clip on my dad’s phone when noone was home. Internet and wifi was nonexistent at that time in our area which was basically a rural place. I didn’t had phone but my classmates used to share clips in a memory card. I had friends in school who used to own mobiles and had loads of clips in them. They also used to watch in the class. It still baffles me how only i ended up being addicted despite having the least access while my classmates are leading normal lives(almost all of them have gone abroad and working there earning good, while i have to struggle to cope being college dropout and working parttime). After years have gone by trying to quit again and again with some abstinence here and there, i end up agai at the same place everytime. I feel like i have made some progress only for a relapse to follow inevitably. I know this sounds depressing but i have been trying to think about it objectively but i can’t make any sense to why only some of us get addicted while others don’t. Many of you may be asking how can uou tell others aren’t struggling. I dont know about you guys but all the people that i have met in life never i have met someone who are pmo or mo addicted. I can tell if they are or not,cause i have been an addict myself for this and i can recognise the patterns and symptoms because i myslef have them.
All in all i am starting to think life throw at us our own vices like how some can’t get a drink without losing control and becoming drunkard while others chug down bottles and don’t even flinch.
I am not being dramatic or philosophical just stating what have been in my mind for a long time. If any of you guys have opinions regarding this i will be very glad to know.
I don’t think fapping alone determines going abroad. Maybe they had money.
Also, I am sure the forum will come after me for saying this. But if you can have a good control like fapping only 1-2 times a month, it’s not gonna have an effect in your life but the problem is most of us can’t keep it to 1-2 times a month and once it starts we get into a constant loop.
Take me as an example, in the past 137 days, I didn’t fapped for 124 days. That’s around 90% of those 137 days. But in those 13 days, I fapped around 15-16 times which almost killed the progress.
Honestly at that time my family was well off than many of my peers.(Dad was in the military). I had more chances than them but i feel like i couldn’t capitalize that. I have nothing to blame but my cowardice for that.
What baffles me is that some of my close friends at that time had more access to p than me, i also thinks they had discovered p way before i even had the slightest idea. They also used to watch at classes. I honestly wanted to watch also, but my identity or self pride as a good kid didn’t allow me. I also own phone when i was in high school but even then i had very limited access to it. Yet i ended up as the addict and been living a screwed life
I also share the same opinion as you regarding streaks. You can have 90 clean streaks but that 4-5 relapses at the end ends up doin more damages compared to the progress during the streak. Also, i have a very mixed opinion regarding streaks, i think its helpful at the start but after going through endless loop of streaks and relapses it loses its meaning(at least for me). Also in my personal view maintaining streaks means your not fully committed to quit pmo, just abstain from for some specific time. Which always give our brain to make excuses to give in during heavy urges saying you can always restart yout streak
Its not only u bro
After reading this even i felt the same
Its ask if an extract of my story
This made me self doubt whether its possible to be free ??
But then i just remember @drago who is going super strong
@drago regardjng this topic
I have a few questions in my mind
There are self doubts but i need ur answer and anyone else who can to answer these
Is it actually possible to be free??
What were the cause of ur relapse in the past and what steps did u take to get urself in this position
How does ur life vary from before u overcame ur addiction and after wards
Does it make u happy to quit it permanently
These may be simple questions but i need these to get the hope back and if it may help anyone else too then its worth knowing the answers to these.
Thanks for the post link bro. I remember reading that post.That post does give good points and is really beneficial. Honestly I don’t agree with some points, but otherwise it’s accurate to me. I do procrastinate a lot and keep delaying important tasks for later. Reading furst few paragraphs really hit close to me. I will be reading it often from now on
I never went onto a super big streak like @drago but the recent 87 days streak which got broken 2 months ago I did got some benefits.
The biggest one being having enough time for myself. The second was viewing girls who wear short clothes as much less of a trigger.
Edit: But I guess you can only get true benefits of no fap if you start fixing your life and not waste that productive time. Because if you don’t do that, that free time will eventually lead to a relapse which happened in my case.
