Diary of the guy who managed to get addicted. I never thought that I would become dependent on something. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, but I have become addicted to the pixels on the screen. As a result of 8 years of dependence on which I became lazy and completely unmotivated to do anything. At 20 years old, I’m still a virgin and don’t really want to do anything to achieve my goals because I don’t have any.
I will write down every day of my miserable life in this diary. Until I get rid of my PMO addiction I will consider my life completely miserable.
The main goal of my recovery is to enjoy life again. To enjoy the simple things of the world that surrounds us, and not to stimulate ourselves with constant quick pleasure that destroys the personality. In addition, I want to finally find a purpose in life, something I really want to do.
P.S. I write this diary for myself, because I understand that there are many people with the same problem. Who am I and who needs me to read my texts. I don’t mind if someone reads this or comes by from time to time to read my ramblings, but I don’t count on anything and am ready to communicate with emptiness.
Its always day 0 which is the toughest
Reason being
We build a fake expectation the we will do this and that etc but many times things wont go as planned
Also it happens with me that everytime i try doing something new or something better for ne
1st day will have the most number of obstacles
Like the world doesnt want me to improve
But i just chuck the stress and tell itsokay i cant be perfect in a day
If everything didnt go as i planned
Ill do better tom
So dont give up
Night was terrible, slept very badly, about 4 hours. The main reason I believe is hyperstimulation of the central nervous system after the last PMO “session”
It turned out pretty good for the first day. Decided to return to my old goal of learning Spanish. I always liked learning foreign languages, but laziness and the desire for easy dopamine prevented me from doing it. I think I will continue to actively learn languages (for now Spanish), I think it will help me not to go crazy, considering that almost nothing in life attracts me
The second day went well. In addition to the previous useful activities, I also began to move more. Exercised at home. But in general, I still don’t feel happiness from life. I will probably have to live in an unhappy state for a very long time
P.S. Didn’t publish this post yesterday. Publishing now. I think it’s okay
Today no urges at all, but I feel an absolute reluctance to do anything. During the first half of the day, I only worked, did a few useful things around the house. As for recreation or doing something useful, I don’t want anything at all. This is very lousy because there is free time, but I don’t want to spend it in any useful way or with pleasure.
Your brain is healing from the PMO abuse, and it is readjusting its levels of dopamine. This is a normal part of the process.
You did a great job in still getting some useful work done during the day. At this time, motivation will be very low as the brain heals. You will have to exercise discipline in order to get your tasks done. But when the period passes, you’ll feel much better and gain more enjoyment from regular activities again like eating, listening to music, exercise, time with loved ones and so much more.
By the way, I did some exercises and it got better.
But I don’t know how to motivate and conduct brain activity in a normal mode. Without brain activity, nothing can be achieved in the modern world
Exercise helps, along with 8 hours of sleep at night, a healthy diet with green vegetables and 2 litres/8 glasses of water a day. All these help speed up the healing process. It’s different for everyone, but it usually lasts just a few days.
I did much less than I planned. My brain is still in bad shape after a long addiction. But physical exercises raise the mood and a little motivation for life
The day went pretty well. But there is still little pleasure in life. It’s very difficult when you don’t know how long you have to recover to feel joy from simple things again
