Yeah I didn’t go .
Just did some pooja and a little meditation.
But I do feel energetic again.
Yeah I didn’t go .
Bro why? Bhai gym toh tera itna accha jaa rha hai.
Arre main gym ki jgh running jaane ka plan kar rha tha iss lie likha tha
Kehna padega lekin running rehne de gym karle running ke will power lagegi extra
Bhai yaar gym ke lie bhi lgti hai
Ek do din ke lie boo rha tha bro main par bass . Because football matches are coming up.
I need a friend like Blackmagic when I am lazy af
Actually bro I just want him to be active in gym because gym jaise opportunity boht kam milti hai toh isiliye daily rehne ko keh rha tha.
Gym is unlimited here.
But daily is not needed anyway.
It takes atleast 2-3 days for a muscle group to recover properly. And giving proper recovery time is a part of going to gym.
But yeah I still need to be more regular with it.
The point wherr issue arises is that I can’t compromise with sleep.
Taking sufficient sleep is also equally important in my eyes.
15th March Day 2
We have a test tomorrow, we already have a list of questions from which questions will be asked tomorrow but we didn’t have the answers so we all were up discussing and finding answers to them till now (1am). No playing today.
Tomorrow evening after test we all will be practicing some skit and singing performance which we need to perform in a function on 22nd March.
I don’t think I’ll get time for playing and or exercise tomorrow (except walking lol).
Anyway I’ll go to sleep now.
Bruh i need to open this app more often. Feeling left out and all
Ah yeah a lot happened . Especially with me I guess.
15th March Day 3
Daaammmmnn I am late af.
We had one time pass test 80/100 was qualifying but we could take the test unlimited times until we crossed 80 , I got 77 then 79 and 81 in third attempt.
After that, our Senior came to adress us regarding an induction function that’s gonna be there in few days.
Some people will be performing a drama, I am gonna sing a song in chorus with two other guys and one guy is gonna play guitar.
We were planning all this in evening with that senior.
Afterwards I immediately went to play volleyball (7:15-8:15), then played snooker till 9, had dinner, bathed, then we practiced singing songs till 12:30 and then I played cards with friends . Not it’s 2 am and I am lying in my room, my roommate is playing music and again telling his breakup stories .
Next level Hostel vibes today.
And we have a class starting 9:30 am .
Ok so I should sleep now .
A Damn Guy has been found in RC.
if damn guy is something then yes I might be that
Sunday 19th March
Long time no see.
I do have a lot to say, this is basically going to be a ranting session.
One, it has been a week since I broke that 70 days streak and in this week I relapsed 6 times.
I am feeling that the positivity and positive thoughts etc I bought from back home have completely faded now.
My roommate is a drug addict and he keeps smoking then ans now, he also keeps bringing such people to room so basically my friends circle now a days is all the people who smoke. I literally hate the smell of smoke now, really. Earlier I used to tolerante but it has become too much now, I gotta tell my roommate clearly to not do it in the room or in front of me.
Everyone around here is a regular fapper as well.
Dose of negativity is too much, that all took over me and probably that’s why I have been relapsing, what can be done.
I was taught somewhere that for every negative thought/interaction you should have 5 positive thoughts/interactions.
And this way I gotta get too many doses of positivity .
Even of 1:5 ratio isn’t possible I still gotta try from my side.
We stay up late night playing cards a couple of times, in the evening I go to play snooker rather than some physical sport, no gym because our morning timing got shifted earlier by more than half an hour so difficult to manage morning schedule with it. So yeah basics I have fucked everything up .
So today I made deliberate effort to call people to play and guess what I found people who have played basketball upto district level , I was like damn, I did find good basketball players just because I showed dedication towards playing, you’ll get things you put sincere effort for.
So yeah I’ll be going to play basketball in at 5 pm, it’s 4:30 already.
My roommate has gone with his friends to nearby city so ge probably won’t return till night after basketball I’ll find some time to meditate and read Gita.
At night I’ll finish the movie which I left in between last night (Everything everywhere all at once).
And I’ll write things I am grateful for at night.
I also gotta make a new set of affirmations and future vision, most of them were study based and based on my previous lifestyle I gotta think and make some for my current lifestyle.
I neeeeeeed to put effort noww. I don’t wanna fall back to living morbidly.
I thought this would be a long post . I guess it is? Anyway I’ll put one update in night along with list of some habits that I’m gonna follow and I’ll follow them on daily basis anyhow, those habits will act as dose of positivity to overcome the negativity I have no option of not exposing myself to.
Gonna go play now . Finally getting some exercise after almost a week , just played volleyball once this week nothing else.
I just gotta forget that this week ever existed. Plus I’ll avoid playing cards and play snooker only when I’ve taken care of all of my habits.
I am also gonna buy a new phone during Navratri which will be 3 days later, I am gonna take a pledge and pray that I’ll never open anything related to pornography in that one.
Listening to this again
Afte posting above post I went to play basketball, we played two on won, I won 81-51, both of them were good players but they were out of form as they haven’t played in quite some time, that’s why I was able to win by this much margin.
After playing I went to the gym, worked out for an hour, then after returning took a bath, washed some clothes, had matar paneer for dinner , then meditated (as my roommate went for dinner ), after that my roommate came with 2 other friends I was journaling and reading gita, now they are sitting in our room preparing to smoke ganja blasting music and here I am listening to bhajans with earphones on .
Anyway I am gonna watch the movie which I left in between yesterday and then go to sleep.
Keeping a basic set of strong habits to follow everyday, will focus on making sure that I follow at least these 4 daily.
Bro I genuinely feel so bad for you, You have gotten a polar opposite personality. You must set your limits.
Par ab joh hai voh hai, sudhaarne ki koshish ki ise nahi sudhar skta, iss lie khud ko bacha ke rkho.