Hello @Delfin !
I’ve just started reading through this. Good job on everything you’ve made it through so far, brother! You’re doing okay and will do okay when you are alone. I was alone for a whole day last week, and I overcame it by staying busy and not leaving time to have or give in to urges.
I have a queation, though. If you are married, then really you just have to cut out PMO and your urges for sex can still be satisfied, am I correct? If so that should be easier than it is for unmarried fellas. 
Is she very supportive of you working your way out of this addiction?
Sorry if these questions are personal. I just want to talk to someone who is married and is going through this to see what it is like. I am quitting MO to save for marriage.
Also, what’s your companion sharing code?
Thank you for your support,hope I will
Thank you @anon3047577 for your support. Interesting question that you asked about having addiction while being married. My answer is going to be a little bit longer so I could comprehand all the facts why having this addiction in marriage is even and equaly bad as having it while being single.
I am doing PMO since I was 12. Today I am 30 and I have realised I have addicition maybe in the past year. There are many reasons why I have realised it so late, because it is common thing in our sociaty for people to masturb., even modern medicine is suggesting masturb. as health benefit, so back then, I have never considered it as a problem. Now I see there are no benefits what so ever.
I suggest you to stop PMO fast and forget about it while you are still single, because it will affect your marriage and sex life. Why - because PMO industry serves you unreal and uncommon ways of seeing sex life.
In my addiction and PMO using I have learned that your brain is being trained (whyle browsing) to pick 50 girls in 5 minutes that you desire. I have read somewhere that your brain sees that as changing partners, so your body is moving up satisfaction level. We can define that in this thread as POLYGAMY.
Every single of those sites offers you option to browse categories, so you have so many fetishes and sex variants that in real life are not that common at all. You can choose by thousends of models during sessions, models that are dressed and wearing make ups. Imagine having 18 years of life Living that way, where you “damage” your perception of sex and get very high expectations, you are starting to think and looking forward to it in real life. I could define this chapter as FETISHES AND VARIANTS.
So, there is real life… I suggest that you have had few girfriends by now and you realised that it is not that often for girls to do PMO, they do it but much less than boys. You even have females that have never watched it, enjoyed it or developed perception of sex through those movies such as we men and addicts did. My wife is one of those wimen that have healthy perception of sex life and some of categories that P sites offer to her are disgusting and very very wrong.
So those desires that I have developed watching P over years, I can’t have with her (even from my respect and love to her I could never ask her to do). So there is moment when you go to use PMO, to feed that unnatural hunger and watch other wimen.
That is one of the reasons why some wimen can’t accept that hers men is watching other girls naked and doing stuff. They see it as adultry and it can cause problems in marriage and even end it.
We come to the point where men reading this could ask, are you saying that you choose PMO over real sex? NO, I do not. I want to say all to you unmarried guys that you have to use your youth to stop PMO and prepare for marriage. Stopping this addiction is going tk help your love and sex life because your wife of girlfriend will be one and only object of desire to you and you will not have deviant perception of sex.
You have to build a healthy sex life with your wife, set the limits, enrich your sex life. Using PMO while married will only push up your limits od desire and common sex will not satisfy you, and that will effect your life and marriage.
You will then turn to PMO, you will spend your sex energy in some motion pictures and you will have less desire to have sex with your wife. Think of her emotions, what would she think? There are also extreme problems like adultry, that you can make for having hight expectations, or even adultry by your wife, because you are not spending enought time with her sexwise.
To conclude, I won’t let you with scary sentences at the end. Even 10 days of retention, affects your sex life in better way. Erection is better, you try do be better. I have reached 45 days where I noticed big urge towards my wife and did not even tought about PMO at that point.
Yes, this makes sense. I think that this is what was holding a lot of us back from realizing it. The society we live in has made it seem so normal that it’s not until we discover something is wrong from our own experience that we do anything about it.
Hm… I actually have had that thought. Hearing it from you, though, a married man… It’s quite sobering…
This does seem like a cause for adultry, on both sides. Particularly about how she must feel in this situation, especially if her expectations had been high to that point.
Thank you, @Delfin , for such a long and thoughtful answer! It gave me a lot to think about and I gleaned a lot of useful knowledge from it.
I hope that everything goes well for you and you are able to get free from this addiction.
@Delfin Hey, I was reading your diary and I believe that you will succeed in your journey!
But I have a question: you have said that you have chosen to follow easy mode because when you get strong urges you can do M instead of having a full relapse doing PMO. Why can’t you be with your wife instead of doing M?
Best regards!
In cases when I am alone for a few days