Darshan2017's new chapter [22M]

Journal
1

Hello every one
I dont remember many of the people here
Sorry for that
I have been doing better
But better in terms of other addictive behavoiurs
I was able to overcome gaming addiction
I was able to overcome bibge watching series and anime
This is a big achievement for me
Next in line is youtube , ■■■■ and mastrubation

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Key areas that i want to focus on

  1. Wake up before 6.30 :white_check_mark::x::x::x::x::x::x:
  2. Workout :white_check_mark::x::x::x::x::x::white_check_mark:
  3. Meditation​:white_check_mark::x::x::x::x::x::x:
  4. Easypeasey book 1 chapter :x::x::x::x::x::x::x:
  5. Make up my bed as soon as i wake up :white_check_mark::white_check_mark::x::white_check_mark::white_check_mark::white_check_mark::x:
    Thats all for now

19th December 2022
Day 01
It was not a good day because i was high on urges
But i said no everytime
Apart from that just watched wednesday series and i really enjoyed it though i binge watched
And that is it

20th December 2022
Day0
I relapsed because i gave in to urges easily
Rest all day was bad
Will try to make it better

21st December 2022
DAY 0
I Relapsed
Nothing great during the day
Just started watching harry potter and it was fun

22nd December 2022
Day 1
I was again just watching harry potter
No studies nothing for the day
Had extreme urges at night but said no to them and slept off :partying_face::love_you_gesture:

23rd December 2022
Day 0
I relapsed again
It was not a productive day
I meed to focus on being more productive and need to be busy
Also i have been waking up late amd not working out or meditation which ill get on track in just a day or two

24th december 2022
Day 0 again
I relapsed again
Die to media content and not being disciplined and not completing my daily tasts and then anxiety

25th December 2022
Day 1
It was a great day with finally starting the workout
Will workout on meditation and easy peasy book reading.
And need to be consistent with waking up early
This cold weather is not allowing me to leave bed

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All the best brother!

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All the best, You will make it

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Another spidey!!! :heart::heart:

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Thank you and all the best to you too🤗

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Yesss forsure…:relaxed:
Stay strong

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For last week i have been posting and updating about my day by editing the previous post
But ill be more specifc from here on

1st will increase my daily tasks
Following are my tasks

  1. Wake up before 6.30
  2. Make up my bed
  3. Workout
  4. Morning Meditation
  5. Cold shower (because i sometimes take hot shower because i m just relapsing and i dont have courage to take cold shower)
  6. Go to temple
  7. Easy peasy book
  8. Spiritual reading
  9. Evening meditation
  10. No youtube (other than study or some hobby)
  11. No games
  12. Studies minimum 7 hrs😅
  13. No sugar (because im trying to lose weight)

These are small tasks which i wanna achieve very soon and all of it

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26th december 2022
Day 0

Tasks

  1. Wake up before 6.30 :x: (7.45)
  2. Make up my bed :white_check_mark:
  3. Workout :white_check_mark:
  4. Morning Meditation :x:
  5. Cold shower :white_check_mark:
  6. Go to temple :x:
  7. Easy peasy book :x:
  8. Spiritual reading :x:
  9. Evening meditation :x:
  10. No youtube :x: ( i have a bad habit of watching tarak mehta on phone during all the meals which i feel needs to change)
  11. No games :x: (played a while)
  12. Study minimum 7 hrs :x:
  13. No sugar :x: (had sweets )

I relapsed today bevause

First i woke up late as a result of which coulsnt go to temple
Somehow i made up my mind to workout at 11.15
Was happy that i did but the workout was painful :sweat_smile:
Then the problem arose when i was checking out my phone just due to habit
And slowly i started watching gaming videos on youtube which triggered by urges to download and play games
Then to avoid relapsing with gaming i started watching random videos which lead to erotica and i slipped down the water slide

Thats the reason i wanna quit youtube because it is the only trigger other than lustful thoughts
And yeah that is it

Today i did just 3 tasks tom will do more

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27th december 2022
Day 01

Tasks

  1. Wake up before 6.30 :white_check_mark:(somewhere near 6.20)
  2. Make up my bed :white_check_mark:
  3. Workout :white_check_mark:
  4. Morning meditation :white_check_mark:
  5. Cold shower :white_check_mark:
  6. Go to temple :white_check_mark:
  7. Easy peasy book❌
  8. Spiritual reading :x:
  9. Evening meditation :x:
  10. No youtube :white_check_mark:
  11. No games :x:
  12. Study minimum 7 hrs :x: (1.5 hrs only )
  13. No sugar :x:

After seeing my today’ s task completion i just wanma say myself

NOT BAD NOT BAD

i did better than yesterday so happy
Will work on being consistent with the ones i did today amd try to improve daily in rest

So i slept yesterday around 12.30 as i was mot sleepy. Why ?? I dont knw
But some how i pushed myself at 6.20 to get out of my bed because i wanted to increase the tick marks here
When i finished my workout i was more happy than earlier because finally i managed to complete the workouts continuosly though i was exhausted and the end ecercises i didnt give 100% but i managed to finish them and also i did 7 pushups of which im very proud of myself

While meditating my brain was wandering a lot and i used to get glimpse of shows that i watch or anime and all
Slowly ill work on meditation too

I started reading easy peasy book but i wasnt able to understand a thing or i can say my brain was telling me that do something which gives dopamine and not read easy peasy book and i had urges to use youtube but i just put the phone aside and slept for an hour in the afternnon

Thatss all for the day
Urges for pmo were 0
Urges for youtube it was weak
Urges for gaming was super high and i relapsed in gaming but anyways there is a tomorrow for me to work more on myself

Buhbyeee

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28th DECEMBER 2022
**DAY 2 **

Tasks

  1. Wake up before 6.30 :x: (woke up at 7.45)
  2. Make up my bed :white_check_mark:
  3. Workout :x: (as i woke up late already i was lazy to workout)
  4. Morning meditation :x:
  5. Cold shower :white_check_mark:
  6. Go to temple :white_check_mark:
  7. Easy peasy book :x:
  8. Evening meditation :x:
  9. No youtube :white_check_mark:
  10. No games :x:
  11. Study minimum 7 hrs :x: ( 0 hrs coz i procastinated a lot today )

Currently i thought of altering my tasks of not including spriritual reading and no sugar because they are not possible though im trying to reduce sugar usage
Thats all about today
Feeling low so dont feel like texting anything
Byee

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29th December 2022
Day 3

Tasks

  1. Wake up before 6.30✅ (6.15am)
  2. Make up my bed :white_check_mark:
  3. Workout :white_check_mark:
  4. Morning meditation :white_check_mark:
  5. Cold shower :white_check_mark:
  6. Go to temple :white_check_mark:
  7. Easy peasy book :x:
  8. Evening meditation :x:
  9. No youtube :white_check_mark:
  10. No games :x:
  11. Study minimum 7 hrs :x: ( 1 and half hr )

Today though i woke up early i had lots of work which was to help mom with household work so couldnt study till 12
Then when i sat to study i was feeling super sleepy so i slept from 12.45 to 1.15 approx
I could have started reading after lunch but i wasted one hour just roaming at home
Then i sat amd studied for 1 and half hour and again had to go out for mom s work and after around half an hour i started playing games
I know that i wanna quit gaming but my mind started playjng tricks with me and so i lost to gaming
But ill get up again

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30th December 2022

Tasks

  1. Wake up before 6.30 :white_check_mark:
  2. Make up my bed :x:
  3. Workout :white_check_mark:
  4. Morning meditation :white_check_mark:
  5. Cold shower :x: (Didnt take bath)
  6. Go yo temple :x:
  7. Easy peasy book :x:
  8. Evening meditation :x:
  9. No youtube :x:
  10. No games :x:
  11. Study minimum 7 hrs :x: (0hrs)

Today i was least productive and i feel bad but tomorrow it will better day
Urges were super high today and i was getting glimpse of past things which were increasing the urges but i didnt give up i just played few games and then made dinner (bhel) for every1
And yeah thats all

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31st December 2022

Tasks

  1. Wake up before 6.30 :x: (i woke up at 4 but thought ill sleep for 1 more hour and wake up at 5 but i wokeup directly at 7.45 :sweat_smile:)
  2. Make up my bed :white_check_mark:
  3. Workout :x: ( i woke up super late so didnt get time)
  4. Meditation :x:
  5. Cold shower :white_check_mark:
  6. Go to temple :x:
  7. Easy peasy book :x:
  8. Evening meditation :x:
  9. No youtube :x:
  10. No games :x:
    11m study minimum 7 hrs :x: ( 0 hrs today)

Tomorrow its a new year and so i wanna make sure i overcome all my shortcomings and do better in life

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Hello every one
Happy new year :partying_face: :tada:
This year wasnt smooth because

  1. I had sucidal thoughts which i over came finally
  2. My relationship would have broken up unless i would have changed and put efforts to keep it
  3. Failing in competitive exams not because the papers Were tough but because i was never ready with my portions
  4. I have given the exam in nov 2 of the papers were good and rest 2 i wasnt prepared because i was busy with po*n, mas, gaming, youtube etc
    I feel bad but i ll not worry about it
    No matter what is the result ill go ahead and prepare for interview which i can join since 1 grp is already completed
  5. Things have gone bad at home and so i need to work on eliminating the negativity
  6. I have always run from studies but no more i choose to do so

And lastly
My buggest regret was to leave this community when i needed it the most
I left because i relapsed many times and was ashamed to tell this
But since there was no 1 to be accountable to i never tried more than previous times

Just a small suggestion to every 1
No matter what happens donot run away from ur failures like i did

Thats all
Stay strong every 1😁

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1st January 2023

Tasks

  1. Wake up before 6.30 :white_check_mark: ( i dont remember the time )
  2. Make up my bed :white_check_mark:
  3. Workout :white_check_mark:
  4. Meditation :white_check_mark:
  5. Cold shower :white_check_mark:
  6. Go to temple :white_check_mark:
  7. Read easy peasy book
  8. Evening meditation :x:
  9. No youtube :white_check_mark:
  10. No games :white_check_mark:
  11. Study minimum 7 hrs

Happy new year to every one
Today s day was busy not because i was partying but because had to help mom in work
Went for breakfast to hotel with siblings
And yeah thats all

I had urges to watch youtube but i denied it
I had extreme urge to play but i wanted to quit it so i said no to it too

I realised one thing
With every passing day of nofap i feel more drawn to my gf
I feel like i wanna speak more to her
I believe its due to lust

So i ll have to be careful with this
Today full day many times lustful thoughts were entering my brain but i was able to overcome them through work and a short nap
Thats all about today

Stay strong bros :love_you_gesture:

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Always remember we are sigma males we have to beat our urge like a champ

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Thanks for the support
Yessss not gonna lose :sunglasses:

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Yeah stay connected with community bros are always there to help you in your fight against your urge

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2nd January 2023

Tasks

  1. Wake up before 6.30 :x: (i woke up at 3.30 as mom had to leave for railway station and then i slept and woke up at 7.30)
  2. Make up my bed :white_check_mark:
  3. Workout :white_check_mark:
  4. Meditation :white_check_mark:
  5. Cold shower :white_check_mark:
  6. Go to temple :white_check_mark: ( i couldnt go in the morning because of work so i managed to go in the evening )
  7. Read easy peasy book :x:
  8. Evening meditation :x:
  9. No youtube :white_check_mark:
  10. No games :white_check_mark:
  11. Study minimum 7 hrs :x: (half hour only)

Today i woke up late as i had to wake up at 3.30.
Still i worked out for 15 mins
Today my sister said my back waist has reduced
Im so happy because its been just one week of working out
I feel that it will take a bit more time to properly finish workout but i have obvipusly improved

Also today i realised i was more confident when speaking to others especially my neighbours
Like from front i said hi and spoke to them and also an old friend whom i met near my house. So confidence has surely improved

And yeah thats all
Im planning to increase my level by eliminating tv from my schedule. The reason being i donot enjoy watching shows which i have watched more than 5 to 6 times and just by two or three dialogues i can tell what episode it is related to

So yeah ill be adding tv wherein im not allowed to watch tv before i complete 7 hrs of study

Had urges to download and play games but while advice a fellow nofapper here i was reminded of why i wanted to quit gaming im the first place and so i didnt play
Thats all
Byee
Good night

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