Dan parting with addictions (Dan's Diary) [M 20]

Day 1 completed.

Had urges in the evening. Powered through with sheer willpower. No YouTube today. Spend 2.5 hours on social media in total. Even then my brain was still shoked with the lack of stimulation and went catatonic, so I slept through half the day.

Did 20 push ups and 50 sit ups. Planning toi resume doing it daily.

Fact of the day: (12)
Gallium is melts at the body temperature.

2 Likes

Day 2

No urges today. No YouTube either. Was out of the house the entire day. Spend like 1 hour or a bit over that on social media, because I needed to monitor some things. Read 50 pages of some fantasy book while waiting for my appointment.

Didn’t exercise but It will go in debt for tomorrow or day after. Feel exhausted physically but fresh morally.

Will have a difficult day tomorrow. Will work for 14-15 hours.

Idea of the day: (13)
Germany has “many” in it’s name, but there’s only one of it. You’ll have to live with it.

2 Likes

Day 3. No social networks. No urges. Worked a lot, had a group performance today. Botched it up a bit.

Hanging out with friends rn.

Fact of the day: (14)

There are 60,065 different tree species currently known to science.

4 Likes

Day 4 is done. Had some little urges. And was easily irritated. Had a lot of energy in the morning, but due to a lack of sleep yesterday, it quickly subsided. I still did quite of few things that needed to be done, like cleaning and washing clothes.

Didn’t watch YouTube. But did spend like 2 hours on other social media.

Fact of the day: (15)

Octopuses have technically more advanced eyes with no light-scattering nerve cells or blood vessels in front of the photoreceptors, and no blind spot.

2 Likes

Day 5 completed.
Felt depressed in the morning, but I had to give a presentation today. Once I did I suddenly felt very… I don’t know, dominant. For the rest of the day I felt like a ball of radioactive testosterone energy.

Did a lot of active resting, visited a local foreign language speaking club, then went to hang out in a nightclub with a group of friends-collegues. I’m a teetotaler but I enjoyed the atmosphere and let off some steam with dancing. Thought about hooking up but ultimately what’s that would achieve? Even if there was any chance I’ll rather keep going on the NoFap and double down on my engagement with the community offline and online.

It was still a new and fresh experience and one I thought about doing for a long time. It’s good.

Found an accountability partner in one of my friends. If one of us fails, they are going to cook for other.

Fact of the day: (16)

In 1983, the Soviet Vostok Station recorded a ground temperature of −128.6 °F (−89.2 °C) in Antarctica. That’s the lowest temperature ever recorded, as far as I know.
The hottest temperature was 134 °F.

3 Likes

Really nice that you can find such a great friend in your life. Treasure your friend and if possible, let more people around you to awake and fight against this addiction! :smile:

3 Likes

Day 6. I’m finally back here.

Today I was rested up a bit after yesterday’s party, then went to a sports competition. All in all I did well for my situation, especially considering how long I didn’t play volleyball. Still, our close loss is an another testiment to how I could always be quicker, stronger and more expirienced.

Feel exhausted, too exhausted to think about PMO, and I hope I won’t catch flu again.

Still clear of YouTube, watch a bit of socmed. Like an hour today. A new rave is listening to music, but I try to keep it down.

Fact of the day: (17)
Our muscles are so strong that they can just tear away from bone, hence our brains never use their maximum power.
Also we are endurance-based build, so it’s evolutionary been a good idea to conserve fuel stored there.
Another reason is that with muscles engaged to their full strength fine motorics become a distant dream. You’ll just shake like crazy on every move.

In a life and death situations, when you survival depends on it, your brain, with all the chemistry evolved, may lift the limitation to an extent, to let you use more strength and speed for a short while.
Trained people can also use more of their strength at will than untrained.

3 Likes

Can’t sleep. Strangely agitated, maybe brain thinks I’m about to go party.
I’ll take some sleeping pills.

I have appeared to forgot the weekly quote thing. Well, week still goes. This quote is from my old ideas book, and I suspect I found it in “Jane Eyre”. Originally from an 18th century German drama.
“Ich wäge die Gedanken in der Schale meines Zornes und die Werke mit dem Gewichte meines Grimms.” - I weight the thoughts in the shell of my wrath and my works with the weight of my ferocity.

2 Likes

Day 7. I fell sick again.
It was very difficult. Had really heavy urges. I didn’t peek, But I masturbated, just a little, almost reflectively. I had my thoughts just a jumbled mess the entire day. Still do.
When I was about to give in, my roommate offered me some hot water and it smacked me back to reality for a bit.
other than that I mostly just played games. Wanted to for a while.
Didn’t do anything useful.
For the last two hours I’ve been just goofing around with my friends, I’m really talkative when I have a high body temperature. Helped me get things off my head. Not very healthy in that I could sleep rn.

Fact of the day: (18)
Sky is blue because it’s the color with the wave length that the atmosphere doesn’t consume and it can get through.

2 Likes

Relapsed tonight, then two more times throughout the day. That’s between coughing my lungs out and throwing up. I feel like a dying dog.
I wonder if it’s common to relapse due to some bad sickness, thought to make a forum question, but I’ll settle on asking the reader. Did you ever encounter that issue?

Fact of the day: (19)

Common cold is a viral infectious desease that can be caused by well over 200 different pathogens which all cause a similar immune response. Risk factors include lack of sleep, malnutrition and phycological stress.

1 Like

Relapsed. Was half-agitated half-depressed the entire day. I’m in the strange place right now. A real pickle. I’m disappointed with how something always pops up. I’m dissatisfied with how I started to objectify and quantify everything in the last half a year by how useful it seems to my power within any given group. My relationship attempts always failed and while it’s not the only source, PMO is the reason why I can’t fix it. It makes me jealous of couples and I can’t stop thinking that if I’m never going to find a girlfriend there’s little reason to suffer through what feels like an eternity of a month to let NoFap do it’s magic. It’s irrational. From the most calculated person I’ve known, I became the most jealous, irrational, spineless jerk. And I don’t know how to fix it. Time will tell.
Here and now I can only wait for the new dawn.

There will be no daily fact for today. I rest. It was a curious idea.

I may try to introduce some light daily goals for start. Sort of like what I saw in Forerunner’s diary. I didn’t work before but this platform is quite convenient.

May resume reading Bible. Barely ever called to me. Never finished it, even though a friend gifted it to me.

Still clean of YouTube. Doesn’t inspire much pride, which it should.

2 Likes

Changed the PFP. Will change username in a day or two. Respect the character. Parolidon was a good one to make on a whim. Maybe no best.

2 Likes

Nice idea, you’ll gain more motivation after achieving the small goals and ready to conquer greater ones.

You’re fixing it. PMO causes all that, it brings immense negativity to our lives. When you start saying no to PMO, you’re becoming more positive. You can do regular exercise, walk in nature, being with reliable friends and family to make you feel more positive.

4 Likes

Valuable advice. Thank you.

2 Likes

Haven’t updated In a while.
I’m on day 2 right now. Depressed. Can’t do much. My flu only now starts to get better. My stubbornness tells me I have to work right now, but I don’t feel like doing anything at all. Giving myself space.

Did a bit of pull ups recently. I really want to get back to that.

3 Likes

Your main work right now is getting better bro. Rest and recover.

3 Likes

You are great and amazing!
Keep doing and don’t forget to do meditation.
All the best :100:

1 Like

Thank you.:slightly_smiling_face:
I’m curious how do you meditate? I was trying to do it how I feel, but it’s confusing and hard to keep up when I don’t know what I’m doing.
I’d like to hear some template.

1 Like

Thanks! I’ll make sure to try it.

2 Likes

M’d today, but without P, nor O. After My classes. Not a relapse.
Resting.
Went to a cool concert, then hanged out with a friend group. Walked a lot today. In quiet.

2 Likes