Counting days accurately

#1

It bothers me that some people are still counting the days when technically they have failed and should reset.
Example would be not resetting because I haven’t looked at porn even though I have masturbated but I have reset for my own sake.
If I or others do not reset when they fap then the counter becomes meaningless and that high number of days is just a lie.
Like others have said it’s called ‘no fap’ for a reason and the whole act needs to be addressed for success which includes thoughts, viewing of porn and the act of masturbation.
Having said that I personally wouldn’t reset for indulging porn thoughts as long as I didn’t masturbate but because the whole act is connected it’s all or nothing for me.
In other words indulging in thoughts or indulging in viewing porn inevitably leads to masturbation and the act of masturbation is nearly always accompanied by porn thoughts so it’s all pretty inseparable.
So it’s all or nothing.
As we are all trying to break the habit here it needs to be absolutely Nothing in order to have success.
I want a real relationship with a girl/woman not with an addictive substance that destroys relationships however tempting that is.
There are some really helpful videos on YouTube and Tedtalks (Also on youtube) which I’m going to view because I’ve failed again! and had to reset very reluctantly (The act of masturbation but not viewing porn)
I’m frustrated with myself and I don’t know if I can count this as a success at all just because I haven’t viewed porn for over a month. Yes this is progress and a personal best of 26 days no pmo or so which the counter is calling 24 days (but I think it’s more) is also progress.
I’m grateful this community exists and this app is definitely helping me but I’m still annoyed at myself. I’ve got weak and sloppy. I can resist this I just didn’t want to today after nearly 11 days. Lying in bed awake is dangerous I guess.

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#2

I used to have the same opinion. But that changed a bit during the last year. Some thoughts:

  • You are doing this journey for yourself. Sure, I understand that people like to compare them self with others. But that is not a useful habit. Your counter should primarily assist you and not others.

  • The counter is a personal tool to measure my way towards my goal. The thing is called counter. Not numbers of no-porn-thoughts day or what so ever. So, it really just counts something. You should define that thing it counts so that it helps you to stay off porn and masturbation and should help us rewire. So, the counter should show something that helps you on your journey. This can’t be the same for everyone since we all have different background and goals. (Sure, you can’t brag you had 200 days without PMO if you masturbated during this time, but you can say that you had 200 days without porn)

  • The Counter is an arbitrary measurement anyway. I personally reset after porn or touching my dick for too long. People would say I’m not doing nofap properly. But on the other hand, I try to not allow myself any self-medication. Which makes my journey much more meaningful than the one of people who just avoid porn by replacing it. I mean, it is easy to reach 30 days if you just replace porn with something else like gaming. Replacing one addiction with another is not too hard. So, to me, that 30 days counter doesn’t mean half as much as a 2 day counter without any self-medication but with slight thoughts from time to time.

  • You say that thoughts will definitely lead to porn and hence a relapse. If that is the case, it doesn’t matter at which point I reset my timer. This makes maybe a difference of maybe 2-5 days which is really not a relevant difference.

  • Resetting the counter after the tiniest bit can be very frustrating and demotivating, which leads to even more relapsing. What’s the use of being overly strict with your timer if it increases your fapping frequency? So, I would always prefer cheating slightly with my timer (but always sticking to my rules i mentioned before) if that means that i reduce the frequency of relapsing (I definitely relapse more often if my counter shows day 0 than when it shows day 7). The goal is to fap as less as possible. So, i do everything to get closer to that goal.

Before you hate about this point, think about it. What is our goal? It is not watching porn or fapp ever again. I don’t care if my counter shows 5 or 6 days. I feel like there are different stages. It matters if your counter is always somewhere between 0 and 30 days, 30 and 90 days or above. Hence, i don’t care if it shows 40 or 80 either. It just shows you are in an intermediate stage.

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