Confessions of a Nepalese PMO Addict

Story of addiction
I am 19, a high school graduate and belong to a middle class Nepali family. I was thirteen when the internet came in my house, the age when I started developing interest in opposite sex. I began to view inducing pictures on the internet. I started watching sexual images and ultimately discovered pornography. I loved watching adult content behind my parent’s eyes and discovered masturbation and ejaculation. This developed into an addiction that I never noticed.

My creativity and concentration eroded. I became an introvert, shy and failed in exams and sports. I developed sexual fantasies and gradually started viewing aggressive and hardcore porn videos where a girl is beaten, manhandled, abused physically, mentally and verbally, and used like an object. Such inclination toward abusive content led my views about sexuality to be violent. I started objectifying female body. My eyes would scan every single girl that passed around me. I used to rape females in my mind. I was isolated socially and developed inferiority complex and suffered depression. I never shared this with anyone fearing the consequence. Porn was like a drug to me, a drug as devastating as heroin and cocaine.

As a regular viewer of porn for the last seven years, I can say that porn is getting violent day by day. According to The Huffington Post, porn sites get more visitors each month than Netflix, Amazon and Twitter combined. People like me find it arousing to choke a woman, to bang her to the wall, to make her cry, to abuse her mentally, physically and verbally. Around 90 percent top watched porn has physical and abusive content.

I became a sex maniac. By the time I became aware of it, it was too late. Today, I think if this lasted for a few more years, I would rot up in a prison cell in some molestation charges.

Presently, I am striving to get away from pornography and adult content. I never thought that I could even make it for a single day. I failed numerous times in this journey and my highest streak till date is eighty two days. I am fighting this addiction.

Porn and violence
People who support pornography say that porn imparts sex education and reduces sexual violence. I consider them as luddites. Pornography promotes film prostitution, drug abuse, sexually transmitted disease, pimping, solicitation, suicide and much more. It gives a hike to unusual sexual fantasies. Many porn stars have ended up their life in drugs, suicide and STDs. People are imitating porn and bolstering violence. Young girls in search of money are getting trapped to the porn agents who play with their body. Pornography is not love. It is only lust. It teaches boys that to be masculine one must break a girl down and abuse her. Likewise, this culture is teaching girls to hyper sexualize themselves.

Today, if we look to any photo shoot of a model, it is just pornified. How can these findings help porn to teach sexual knowledge and curtail sexual violence? Moreover, porn is ruining marriages and our family system. In June, 2018, after watching porn clips, four boys sexually assaulted a four-years-old minor girl in Kanpur district of Uttar Pradesh, India.

The United States produces around 90 percent of pornographic films and it has one of the highest records of violence against women. According to Crime Victims Research Centre, a woman is raped in the US in every forty six seconds. The Directorate-General of the European Commission published an article claiming that rape cases in England and Wales combined is greater than all the rape cases of the rest of the Europe put together.

Its report states that in 2015, around 35,700 cases of rape have been registered in the UK, followed by France with 12,500 cases and Germany with 7000 cases. A total of 5,500 cases have been registered just in a population of 9.8 million in Sweden. Germany sees approximately 30 rape cases registered every day. These clearly show that a country where pornography and prostitution is legal has very high intensity of violence against women. In Jerry Jhonson’s book It’s Killing Our Kids, Dr William Marshall insists that 86 percent rapists admit to regular use of pornography, with 57 percent admitting intimation of pornographic scenes while committing sex crimes.

Nothing in porn is natural. It only objectifies female body.


You have a well developed, sharp intellect. It’s great that this has enlightened you on the truth of the current reality.
With time and well managed semen retention, synthesized with spiritual engagements you will open up to the underlying causes of humanities misery. The revelations will be ugly, but with morality and a life dedicated for the good of the All you will ascend to a place that supports you on your self realization.

All the best for your future success!


Thank you. My best wishes for you to battle PMO and in your future endeavours.