"Check-in" Daily - diary challenge

motivation

#1115

Day 74 Tuesday
Ok good


#1116

I completely understand you my friend! sometimes I think that I will never completely recover even if I don’t watch pxxx I have so many lustful toughts everyday from morning till evening… In the Gospel is said that you sin first in your mind… Even now I feel to watch some pxxx and if I don’t watch it images anyway appear in my mind many times, never mind if I meditate, pray do exercises, yes all its helping but I always fall back… And I did more than 90 Days hard mode before but still I went back to pxxx… I’m glad anyway to try to reduce as much as I can… try all my best… but sometimes I really feel that it’s too late for being completely clean… How can I delete all the pxxx in my mind? Too many years… too many…


#1117

@Atanatar
Perhaps we go wrong in thinking we must fight it.
He says “what causes you to sin, cut it off”

I believe and trust, “the truth will set us free”
As its proved true in my life.

I think we keep asking the wrong questions.
Child = “why?”
Adult = “because…”
Child = “why?”
Adult = “be quiet”
Child = “why?”…etcetera :joy:

“To enter, you must be childlike”


#1118

Yes my friend… but its difficult to cut it off… maybe I can rationally not watch… but in my subconscious it’s like boiling water… I agree about not fighting… I even heard Thich Nhath Hanh saying that you can use mindfulness to embrace with understanding and compassion the good and the bad alike but its not easy… But will I recover? I don’t know. On the outside I’m a normal person but in the inside I have so much that I personally want to cut it off sometimes!


#1119

:man_facepalming: dammit dammit dammit

I’m not giving up but feel like my efforts are utterly futile


#1120

Truth is never futile :+1:


#1121

Checking in - All good.
Week 17 - Mar 5, Tuesday


#1122

Week 18 - Tuesday - Day 20

Looking for peace within.


#1123

Check in…Wednesday
All good…


#1124

Thank you for the reminder.


#1125

All is good Wednesday checkin


#1126

Check in - day 4
All good…


#1127

Had a wet dream woke up with tons of images in my mind, feeling fatigue and tired, although I wouldnt call that a conscious relapse, but feels like it :frowning_face:
Day 20 check in


#1128

Checking in - All good.
Week 17 - Mar 6, Wednesday


#1129

Week 18 ~ Wednesday 6th March
Start of Lent


#1130

Week 18 - Wednesday - Day 0

I just had a relapse. So much tension was building up. I only wish I hadn’t watch pxxx. It was better only fxx without images. Just for release! I need to remember next time!


#1131

Check in…Thursday
All Ok…


#1132

Checkin…Thursday …


#1133

Check in - Day 5
All well…


#1134

Check in day 21 :no_mouth: highest score for meh