Checking in : week 48
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
All good 
.
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All GOOD 
Jai Mata Di!!
Week 10 - Oct 5, Sat - Streak: 41 days
@Positivebloke Nah man, everything you write is super encouraging to me! I look forward to reading your posts each night, but even if you did write something that’s been said before, it’s always good to hear again.
I’m pretty sure vitamin C is helping, but ya try it out and see how it works for you. I’m not one to believe things will work and I’m generally super suspicious of “natural” techniques for helping things, but I think it’s actually helping me bare this cold season.
And yes the X technique is the bomb bro. I’ll have to try the sirens one as well.
Also awesome post yourself! I totally agree with everything you said. You brought to mind one thing I like to do in the face of some triggering content. I like to think of the content as trying to beat me. Like the people behind the media or advertisement are trying to make me relapse and they think they will get me. They want to make money off me.
That tends to make me angry, I don’t like when people tell me what I have to do, so it instantly makes me disgusted with the media.
On another note, I’ll also be 22 by 2022. That’s actually not that far away when you put it like that. Day 1000 always seems like a decade away for me, even though I know it’s not.
We can do this dude, let’s get to 1000 together, by our 22nd birthday 
As for me,
Today was good. No urges, thank the Lord!
Things are getting stressful though as my last midterm is coming up on Monday. I don’t feel ready for it and I know it’s going to be hard.
My family and I watched some home videos tonight. It gave me a really melancholy feeling. Those were such simpler times, when I was little. Things were innocent, fun, and full of life.
I’m so tired of this addiction, I want to be nowhere near it. And for that I am grateful of my streak. I was looking at it today, really looking at it. For awhile it just hasn’t felt real, almost like it’s not important.
But come on man, this is amazing! I can’t believe I am this far. I dreamt of being here for so long. And I am making it. Life can once again enter into my soul.
Life is hard, but life is good.
Here’s my vibe for you guys:
This is my streak, I am going to make it.
“The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse.”
-Hellen Keller
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Check in- day 11
All good… glory to God
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Check in 6th October 2019
All good.
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Check-in
Sunday 
@Special_bird
Your posts encourage me to write more!
Keep writing 
& I’ll write too! 
I’ve got my annual exams on 10th December.
4 subjects. Each subject takes more than a month to complete. I should be dead scared to study right now. But still, I feel like I haven’t got much serious about it.
Maybe I’ll do some research on vitamin C in my Pharmacology book 
That’s something new.
I’ll let you know if there is anything 
All this digital media is just endless.
& On social media,
People are living their perfect lives.
You know being a medical student I have a perk
We look at patients almost everyday in wards, OTs & OPDs.
I’ve been to antenatal & postnatal examination rooms.
I’ve seen deliveries,
I’ve seen surgeries.
& After all this time, to me, a woman’s body is more like a subject to learn.
I say it’s natural, it’s interesting, it’s complex.
I see it more or less as just flesh & bones.
Just tissues, skin, organs, blood. My brain starts running like an engine.
That doesn’t mean I don’t get aroused 
But I just don’t seem to be able look at women with lust
So all the nudity on digital media fails to decieve me because I know it’s fake.
But still, sometimes I just get carried away.
Let’s get to a 1000 days
We’ll be reborn as free men
Spending family time watching old childhood videos, that is so sweet
& Great song man🔥
Today’s been great.
From tomorrow, I promise to be serious regarding studies 
& Wake up each day at 4 AM
I don’t have to plan, nor strategize. But, Just read.
Word after word.
Page after page.
Every year, we have this festival called “Navratri”, where we worship our goddess Maa Durga.
After our prayers & pooja, each night, all the people in our society & everywhere else gather in halls.
We do this traditional dance called “Dandiya”
So I went today to this gathering.
I see many people grouping, making circles and dancing.
Majority are women, as very few men are good at dandiya (garba)
I wanted to have fun.
I was there with my cousin brother & sister, & my aunt.
How much did I know Dandiya? Zero
But still I just tried to merge into those circles.
Sister pulled me to her friends & showed me a few steps. But boy they are complicated!
I move out, observe, move in & try again
Everybody is so good at it. Everybody doing the same pattern. Then one person changes pattern & immediately everyone change.
Dandiya requires practice. Lots.
But still I was doing something. Something.
Clumsy dance?
I do this something mingling with everyone.
& I bump into this random lady.
She tells me “Hey, it’s easy!”
And shows me each hand & feet movement step by step.
“Here look, 1…2…3…4…then turn…1…2…3…4”
I’m trying to get them right, & I did do it for like 5 seconds
And then I meet this girl from school.
I didn’t know her. But she recognised me.
I apologized for not knowing her name, we spoke a little in the loud music, & she showed me some more steps
I danced with her in the group for sometime.
And then after the traditional dance came a dj
I went back to my sister & brother.
We danced (jumped actually) on the beats.
I was sweating alot. Smiling all the time.
A good time
Surrounded by lots of women, all so sweet.
I went back to that girl & said it was nice to meet her. Thanked her. I couldn’t properly say goodbye though. I should’ve asked for her number maybe.
It is so surprising to see how pornography warps our impression about women.
There is a stark difference in how they are depicted on the internet, & how real life is.
Just think about all the women in your life,
see the child in them,
the grace in them,
the strength, emotions, humour in them.
List goes on.
All of it is just so beautiful. So natural 
In each woman, I find this home like feeling!
We all are the same
But at the same time so unique.
Good night 
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Checking in - Sunday 6th October. All good, thank GOD.
Every moment of resistance to temptation is a victory.
Frederick William Faber
Even now, I feel that soft whisper, inviting back to an ex-favourite website. Temptation is an ever-present force on this journey. But with each temptation defeated, it gets easier and easier to overcome the next one. That whisper is now so faint and feeble, where it used to overpower me after 2 weeks of resistance. Acknowledging and accepting the temptation has been key for me. Everyone is tempted, and I need not feel any shame or guilt for that. I’m always free to choose my actions.
As it lies on its sickbed, I know that I’m the only one who can revive it, and I have no desire to do so. Acknowledging that I can fall backwards at any moment, I take refuge in GOD and look forward to my vision of a better life. I let that vision pull me forward to victory and leave the temptation behind.
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Check in - day 12
All good… glory to God
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Week 48
Friday 
Sat / Sun
All good, thanks be to God alone 
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Checkin… Monday…let me give myself a fresh start…
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Week 10 - Oct 6, Sun - Streak: 42 days
@Positivebloke Thanks man!
RIP on those 4 exams, I hope you succeed in your studying plan tho. You got this!
Also that’s interesting about how all that study turns the female body into a perception of only parts. I feel that a similar thing was starting to happen for me when I was in my Criminal Justice program, particularly when we were studying blood stains and body mutilation, etc. I can’t say I liked thinking that way, but it was definitely interesting stuff.
Stay strong💪
P.S. Do you or anyone know how to imbed a video into my post?
As for me,
Late night. Was up studying for last midterm tomorrow. Disappointed that I am going to miss sleep again, so got to stay vigilant tomorrow for urges.
No urges today, things went well, but stressful. Keeping this short so I can get to bed.
This is my streak, I am going to make it.
“Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.”
-Robert H. Schuller
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Some how i feel now a days a lack of attention from girls and thus feel little bad and low abt it but then i m reminded of doing NOFAP (day 12) and semen retention which is enough to b Happy n feeling content.
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Checking in - Monday 7th October. All good, thank GOD.
@Special_Bird I know you can copy in a link from YouTube, but I don’t know how to do more than that. If there’s a way I’d like to know as well!
“Change your behaviors and your feelings will follow.” – Susan McManhon
I’ve found that I would spend so much time waiting to feel ready to change or act. I tied the starts or ends of my streaks to special events and dates, hoping that they would add extra meaning and make me feel that this was it. I would read things and hope something would give me a spark of inspiration to get me going. I would write up plans for positive habits I’d add to my life, waiting for that time when I would feel ready to change. But for me, that feeling never came.
When I began to act, when I stopped worrying and waiting to feel right, things started to change for me. And the strangest thing happened, I gained that sensation I had been searching for. I gained confidence in my ability to stay clean each day. I felt inspired. I could keep going.
Now, I need to remind myself that action is needed before I feel that way about other positive habits in my life. Waking up on time, eating healthily, exercising regularly. Each small victory builds confidence to keep going.
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Check-in 7thOctober2019
All is good
I’m increasingly looking at girls not in a positive way.
Itemising woman and make them as just mere sexual attraction is very bad.
I can see that this thought is not good for my current streak and mental health.
I need to see beyond this all.
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Week 48 - Sep 30~Oct 6
All Good, Another Clean Seven! Setting Small Goals. Small Victories!!
Completed 14 days, My Highest in Months.
There’s a lot happened that left me emotionally exhausted. Thus, got urges everytime but stayed in control so I can recover, not go deeper in disturbing state.
Check-in Week 49 - MonDay - Oct 7
Tonight ended in a Wetdream, thus wokeup and writing here. Though had to empty it fully after, urges come back strong in morning if I don’t. I’m Good or Should Reset?
All The Reservoir Emptied on Some Dream Fantasy 
Night of the Fallen 
Day 17.
PS: Not Much Active nowadays, miss reading on forum n talking to community members. Will try to update Fappy Nik's Journal ⚕️ - #17 by rowdy_nik soon. Best Wishes to everyone. Stay Strong Brothers! Flame On 
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Week 49 ~ Montag
Alles gut! Dank sei Gott
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Check in- day 13
All good… glory to God
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Checkin…tuesday…
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Week 11 - Oct 7, Mon - Streak: 43 days
Oof, the midterm went kinda eh. I think I’ll be lucky if I get a C.
Dear Lord man, I’m just getting beat up here. I feel like my professors are looking down on me, like Im not trying. It’s really frustrating. I now know all the places where I can improve, but at the same time it feels like the world’s against me right now. I’ve never had this much trouble with my testing. What’s even more frustrating is that it seems like all my friends and classmates are doing just fine. They aren’t having any trouble, all the students that were having trouble already dropped. Work piles on and it feels like I never have room to breathe.
These things are frustrating. I know all I can do at this point is work on improving my work ethic and doubling down. I just hate feeling like the dumb kid in those two classes. My calc professor seemed visibly pissed about everyone who didn’t do good on the midterm. And my electrical engineering professor is already scary enough as it is, Im not looking forward to seeing him after he sees my test.
But oh well, what can I do, fake it till I make it, I guess.
But, despite that, I am still beyond grateful for my streak. I feel free and confident in that sense. I know these things with my classes will pass eventually however it may go. But this, this is important. I am finally becoming the person I want to be. I can live free from moral dilemma. Had one trigger today, ran into one of those stupid ads on a website that actually showed nudity. Blocked it out successfully though.
This is my vibe tonight for you guys, more melancholy:
Until I can figure out how to imbed, I’ll just post a link. @Taher is it possible to imbed video? Or not yet?
This is my streak, I am going to make it.
“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.”
-Abraham Lincoln
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