Checking in :week 44 - Thursday, Friday
All good.
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Checking in week 2
Friday 6th September
I am still up and not sleeping at 2am due to work. Too tired and wanted to have instant gratification and happiness.
Being here make me know that the long lasting pain beats the instant happiness I’ll get from PMO.
I check in instead.
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Good to see bro!
It’s really tough right now, but it won’t always be. A recovering alcoholic must first fight her way through shakes, tremors, migraine headaches, nausea and even hallucinations. These are our withdrawal symptoms. Just a reminder to you as you’ve reached a high streak before, but it’s much better on the other side.
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Week 44 - Friday
All good
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Week 44 ~ Friday
Survived, Thanks be to God 
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Checking in - All good
Week 44 - September 6, Friday
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Week 6 - Sep 6, Fri - Streak: 12 days!
Really tired today, didn’t get enough sleep last night. Probably should be going to bed early, but I got into this game and it was really nice. Won’t be doing that again, as the urges are starting to get very strong.
As I exited the game and sat looking at my desktop about to turn off my computer, I had a strong urge to open my chrome browser and start the rabbit hole. I hovered over the icon for 30 seconds, battling with thoughts in my head:
“Do it, it will be so good, it’s no big deal”
“No I have a commitment to my recovery”
“But think about it” (my brain brings up past memories of the best it can conjure up about PMO) "Once you have it, you won’t want to go back so it won’t matter anyway’
“No thats a lie, I always regret my decision afterwards. Ive told myself this a million times”
I pull back the mouse to the sleep option, but for a brief second I start to go back to hovering, but I push it out of my mind and click sleep.
Phew! Most times I would have gone down that path. I would have debated but instead of going to the sleep option, I would open Chrome. I might click off it, and say no, but we all know that once the line is crossed there is no going back. It will get you, even if it takes a couple of days.
I used to think I could get by even if I had edged, but thats never true. Because once we break one rule, there’s nothing stopping us from breaking another… and another and another. Then relapse. And the urges always get worse for me on those streaks. There’s no gratefulness that I survived the day, cause in fact, I really didn’t.
But this time, I drew the line and I held it. No breaks. And I’m really proud of that, that almost never happens.
Day 12, I’m a freeman once again. But a freeman who doesn’t learn to defend himself will surely get dragged away by the slave catchers once more. I must hold my ground and learn to stay strong more than ever.
“Don’t be like the man who kills himself in the winter because it’s so cold, not knowing spring is just around the corner”
-Elliott Hulse
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Checking in - Saturday 7th September. All good, thank GOD.
@Special_Bird Great to hear you won that mental debate yesterday! Every time we win, we make it easier to win next time. Soon, the urges will become like the husband who never argues with his wife - Yes dear…whatever you say dear… Keep going bro!
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
Josh Billings
Persistence is the key to overcoming addiction. Everyone fails on this journey until they finally succeed. And it’s an incredible attribute to have. However, sometimes people spend their energy persisting to do the same thing, even though it hasn’t helped them in the past. They speak about how ‘If only I can just stop taking my phone to the bathroom’ or ‘I just need a solid pornography blocker’ or even ‘I would have kept going if I wasn’t so stressed that day.’
It’s time to be persistent about something new; your commitment to yourself and your recovery. Commit to being compassionate to yourself. Commit to learning more. Commit to analysing your mistakes and not making them again. If a strategy doesn’t work for you, commit to improving and refining it until it does. When one is persistent with their commitment like this, they will carry themselves to greater and greater heights.
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Checking in : week 44 - Saturday
All good.
@Special_Bird you are doing great brother. Keep up good work.
Nice one man 
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Amazing @Special_Bird
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post.
So much wisdom in that
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Checking in - All good
Week 44 - September 7, Saturday
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I’ve tried to be on this topic before, but I failed. Here I’m trying again.
I’m 33, and been fapping since 11, so that makes 22 years of addiction. I had a tough week. I didn’t go all the away to PMO but edged a lot the last days, I’m starting again today.
I see there is people here since the first day and the topic soon will reach 1 year of existence.Thanks to all you guys who have already posted, thanks for being here.
Checking in
Day One
Week 44 - September 7, Saturday, 17h53 in Brasil
Won over ONE big urge so far
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Week 44 - Saturday
All good
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Week 44 ~ Saturday
A fall, but all good, Thanks be to God
Welcome back @Juvenal - its great to have you here again. And thanks for editing the poll 
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All Great Checking in - Sunday 8th September. All good, thank GOD.
@Gk-00 Really great to see these ‘All good’ messages from you man! 
“The goal isn’t to be sober. The goal is to love yourself so much that you don’t have to drink.”
Unknown
For the longest, I failed because my goal was to become clean so that I could love myself. I couldn’t see anything in the person I was that was worthwhile except in my potential future. And I relapsed hundreds of times, falling down year after year, as I wasn’t compassionate towards myself. I didn’t like myself enough to save myself from self-destruction. I was postponing caring for myself until I had passed 60 days, so I could feel worthy enough. It was only when I saw myself in a new light and learned to love myself that I finally was able to break free of the cycle of relapsing. And now, PMO isn’t even an appealing option. I’m treating myself as I would treat my best friend, and I’d never put a video in front of him and make him relapse after how hard he’s tried to quit.
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Week 6 - Sep 7, Sat - Streak: 13 days
@Forerunner @anon67854825 @MrXYZ Thank you everyone for the encouragement! Yes, hopefully it will become as you say Forerunner haha! Also I am glad you found something helpful in the post Aoshigreen.
As for me, today was good. Small, steady urges today, but I ignored them. Tired, so leaving this short and hitting the sack.
“Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.”
[Margaret Lee Runbeck]
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Week 44 ~ Sunday
I fell again 
I don’t know if I should just laugh at myself
Will Check-in again tonight
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Checking in - All good
Week 44 - September 8, Sunday
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Day 1 of noPMO. My current streak of noMO is 18. Brain fog is a there. I’ll love myself. Self love is absolutely essential to have victory.
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