Can you share some of your stories of relapse?

Been doing nofap since 2 and a half years and I got a big streak before I relapsed 4-5 months ago.
It really hurts when i have to reset the counter. It’s hard when I have to accept the reality. I don’t want to lose my big streak. But I already relapsed. The only thing I gotta do is to accept the reality.
I reset the counter. I failed, but I ain’t done yet with this addiction :fire::fire: I’ll keep fighting till I get rid of this addiction.
I’d like to hear the stories of relapses because it motivates me to get rid of this addiction.
If you’d like to give some of your relapses to me. I’ll be so grateful thank you so much fapstronauts!!

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27 recorded relapses as of february. That is almost 3 a month.

Three that particularly got to me:

Around day 7 at the start of my first journey. Peeked, and slipped to relapse from there. I was curious again and underestimated the power of urges. Saw a video that I still get flashbacks to. When I was done, considering the situation, I knew for a fact that I had a problem.

Second one was my “Streak” of 68 days. A lot of peeking and edging, but hey, As long as you didn’t go all the way…well at 68 days, the edging session hit, and I gave up. Telling my therapist was just…humiliating, not just because of the undeniable relapse, but because I was bending the rules to suit my needs. How the heck you gonna reboot in 90 days if you spent at least half of those days at the very least peeking and looking at porn? What a lie I was. That is what hurt the most.

And the most recent was right before this beautiful one, with only 3 times I remember deliberately peeking or fishing. About 3 months(?) after the loss of my 68 day “streak”, I had realized that I was about a month away from going to meet my Crush for the first time In a year. And that day, I had binge relapsed like a psychopath. Must have been one of the longest sessions and series of relapses in my life! Seriously, when I fall, I fall down hard…downhill into a river of shit going downriver into a toxic dump! 3 months, couldn’t even get past 2 weeks, no matter how much I studied or worked. I felt depressed and miserable. But the last part of it…I said to myself “To hell with this. I am going back to working out. I am going back to my MMA and Dancing Classes. I am going to make sure I will NOT relapse because I am NOT going to see my crush with a crappy fap binge, and doing shit like jacking off in their house like a person with no respect or dignity.” That last part hit me. Story of the life of so many fappers: freaking sneaking around and blowing loads into socks or the toilet in someone’s house like a horny teenager. I mean shit, man, how selfish and sad is THAT!? You going to see your crush and be there for her, and being horny as hell, you gon’ sneak into the bathroomor some secret place to blow loads? Think about that for a second. Is that How I wanna live!? So addicted that, like a teenager, you are playing covert ops for the magical nut? Hell no. I should thank my crush for giving me the motivation to make it this far. I don’t wanna live like that anymore. If I am horny, I shouldn’t have to hide it in a sock or down the toilet. Transmute it and be free of this. Fuck porn and masturbation. The longer I go NoFap, the more I realize how twisted and unhealthy my fapping habits were.

Buddy, you just gave me a powerful motivation to keep going through reflection. I appreciate it.

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Hey man @Wannabeliberated. Thank you so much for sharing your story! You’ll be completely free one time. Because you are the one who made this decision, do nofap. You are the one who wants to change your life. Let’s keep fighting with us because everytime you relapse, you have many friends right here, all fapstronauts. We’re gonna always be here for you.

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And Fight I will. Till death.

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