I know, I’m kind of an ancient member here. I have been here from the very start of this forum. I saw a lot, read a lot, wrote a lot, and also fought a lot.
In the past 3 years I developed as a human being from a shy, angry person, not caring about others, not having time for others, literally getting sick from fear before every exam, birthday party or social gathering. I was stressed all day so that i indulged in YouTube, the smartphone in general and porn.
But over the years, I evolved. I learned a lot about myself. I learned to listen to my feelings and to my body. Learned to figure out where these feelings are coming from and what they wanna tell me. This makes it possible to reduce stress and all factors which lead to me, fleeing from reality.
Over the last year, I stopped fully focusing on nofap because I needed a break. I knew that I don’t have the willpower to do it. So, I focused on self improvement. But I feel like now, there could be the time to start another go at nofap. I will try to write every day. Even if it is just a short line. I started a new topic rather than my old journal to indicate to myself the fresh start of this try.
The main things I wanna recite daily are the answers to following questions:
- What kind of person am I?
- What is important in life to me?
- My daily habits
- How did I feel today / Did my ticks start again?
Why I see them as the most important questions:
- I found that cognitive dissonance is one of the main reasons for stress in my life. It’s when I behave contrary to what I am. As example. I always learned that being a perfectionist is not good. So, I thought that I mustn’t say that I am one. But I just love to see things which are perfectly done, it makes me happy. Another thing is changing my believes in front of others / not making my position clear in an argument so that they like me .
So, it is extremely important for me to know who I am, what I believe in and then also stick to these points in front of others.
- What gives you energy to wake up in the morning? What keeps you from watching porn all day? It is a clear goal. This includes my career, my hobbies, and my social life
- Positive habits are the foundation of a good day. It simplifies so much and makes it easier to pursue your goals
- The earlier you figure out that something is off, the easier it is to react. Typically, if I’m stressed by something, an upcoming event or anything else, a whole cascade starts. It begins with me chewing on my fingernails, then I start to neglect my hobbies, I start to get more irritated and unhappy, I then start to get drawn to YouTube and the smartphone way more often and in the end I feel the urge to watch porn. This can take days or even weeks depending on how stressful the event is. But the earlier I detect that there is something that stresses me, the easier it is to react and the lower the chance for me to relapse
As an end of the first post, a huge thanks to all the people who are inspiring and supportive. There are so many that I can’t name all but I still wanna name @amadeus for your support and @Forerunner for all your inspiring posts.