1 and a half year ago i had my highest streak of 120 days, i relapsed cause i prematured for the first time in my life and i was embarrassed. I tried getting back but then i was too depressed because of starting it all over again and i wasn’t doing well in my exams and shiz. I am still struggling with my entrances and I’ve never got a streak of more than 5days since then, I’ve gone so much into porn now that, i am going into weird, sadistic shit sorta porn to satisfy my urge, i feel weak in my knees these days cause of that. I am not able to concentrate and focus, i used to take cold showers before then i was on my best streak. Now i always feel cold and there’s not much heat left in my body, I can’t even try cold showers now. This is driving me crazy, I don’t want to be like this. I was so much into porn that i was scared of even opening this app and face the reality. I feel so drained. I need help.
One bite at a time my friend.
I wrote a long response then chose to delete it because my 2 cents was… simplify to its bare components, everything.
All the best friend.
Never give up friend. I also had more than 90 Days without Porn and I also went down in the mud again… Don’t sink… keep trying your best… You will be back… Have faith my friend you are not alone.
Discipline is the Key.
You had a 90 day streak, means you already have the tools to reach higher levels.
You were triggered as a result having 1 instance of premature ejaculation, which means your brain either needs longer healing time or more instances of healthy human intimacy to get accustomed to normal neural functionality.
CHEER UP! GOING FORWARD ONE STEP AT A TIME IS THE ONLY WAY!
@hussainaqib999 120 day streak is a good streak, but I’ve got there multiple times. It’s not the end of the addiction when you got there it’s the beginning to a more free life. Don’t give up on this, you’ll get to 120 days again and more!
Don’t forget each of those 120 days was a day where you were at your best! THAT’S AMAZING! You are so strong!
I’m still down here struggling to get past 1 week without fapping, but I just thought to myself, “Wow, I only relapsed twice in the last 12 days,” and for me that is a record!
I know it is hard, but try to think of how capable you are of being strong. How many days you did not cave in to desire and habit. Do not let this one moment take that all away! We are so attached to numbers. Our day count is important, but it is not everything. Your effort is everything, no matter what happens!
Also, please, be GENTLE with yourself. The easiest way (at least for me) to get stuck in a rut of unhealthy behavior is to yell at myself, shame myself, treat myself like a piece of shit. We have to learn to be gentle, to actually do the work of loving ourselves in a world that does not teach us how to do that. We have to say, “Yes, I feel disappointed in my choice or my behavior, but I accept myself and I love myself. I understand myself in the context of this society that continually encourages me to seek instant gratification everywhere I look. I can understand why I chose to do this and at the same time, I can support myself in making better choices going forward and seeking help from people like this community.”
Think about this: all the harsh and mean things you say to yourself, would you ever say those to your best friend? Of course not! In Buddhism, our most important training is to train in making friends with ourselves. If I am a friend to myself, I will steer away from saying degrading things to myself in my mind, and I will replace those with saying supportive things. It may feel fake at first, but the more you do it, the more it can be helpful, just like the more you don’t fap, the easier it becomes not to fap in the future, even after relapse. Good luck! You got this!
Peace,
MJ
What is premature???
Man thank you so much for this. I genuinely feel good now. I am pretty sure i am not going to relapse again.
Not lasting long enough in bed
Thanks man, i hope i get more than 120. And i hope i keep breaking my record everyday after that.
All tge best for your journey too
I think the reason was because of no fap , my body got a littlr too sensitive and there was so much to release. Maybe if i have had a wet dream before sex, that wouldn’t have happend. Cause surprisingly i was pretty good in bed before nofap.
Thanks man. That helps 
