Hi all. To start I’ll give a brief description of my situation. I am 28 and have been PMO with internet pornography since I was 13. 15 years. Wow. More than half my life. I have been trying to quit PMO since about 2012. I haven’t been successful.
My longest streak previously was 30 days, So to start I would like to beat that.
My goal: Check in everyday, regardless of how I feel, Identify my weakness and how to correct them, and summarize what’s going on in my life.
Interests: low carb diet, exercise, cognitive performance, nootropics, studying, and striving to be better.
Check in day 2. I recently hit a low, PMOing twice in a day. I think it is because I’ve been having troubles with my studies, and I have been turning more to PMO for support. Mornings can be difficult for me as well.
Goals for today. No provocative material, wake up early tomorrow, and get to work.
Check in Day 3. I didn’t wake up early, but I was able to fend off any urges I had upon waking, it is often my most difficult time. My day was relatively productive, and I had no real problems with urges.
Goals for tomorrow. To continue to work hard and strategically execute. Tomorrow I think if I can defeat the morning I can not worry about PMO for the day. I wish to meditate for ten minutes.
Alright. Well I have to say, the check in’s work! I made i to about 7 days, and have been having trouble since.
So here I am day zero. Just relapsed. I want to make it the last!
I am back to studying, and I wish to increase my cognition, have better mood, and a better outlook on life.
Cheers to y’all, and see ya tomorrow!
Goals for tmrw
study, do duolingo french, and workout.
Day 1 Check in
Alright, I completed everything that I wanted to for today. Feeling a bit depressed, but I think it should pass. I’ve decided I want to use the family canoe and go somewhere cool with the girlfriend.
My studies have been going alright. I get my scores back soon. I’m hoping to keep up the goodwork.
Well after about a month of success, brought on by unfortunate circumstances (my girlfriend found a folder I had of a girl from venuzela on instagram. It wasn’t an affair or anything I just liked the way she looked for whatever reason and I was stock piling her photos in case god forbid she removed them. IDK i don’t think sometimes. UGH it really sucked.)
The shame of being caught allowed me to stick to it for about a month. I felt very good, but then I started falling into the same pattern I always do where I begin to look on Reddit for risky material, then I eventually just look at it, and then its only a matter of hours or days before I relapse. I need to prevent this from the start, no risky material ever.
I am a pornography addict.
I will never be able to handle it.
I am better without it.
I want to be better.
I can be better.
Anyway honestly think that writing is the biggest key to success, it allows you to have an active dialogue with yourselves. I encourage everyone to write a blog, whether it is public or not.
We all can make it, it is up to you to make it happen. It’s not going to easy, but it is going to be worthy.
Stand up tall everyone.
I’ll be back tomorrow.
day 6. Feeling amazing compared to yesterday. i was feeling way in the dumps. But i am grateful I didn’t relapse. Getting out of the house I really think is important when you feel terrible, it really reduces chances of a relapse.
Anyway Today I am going to take a break from school work, but still try and be productive and better than I was yesterday.
I hope everyone makes a little progress today, and gets one step closer who they want to be!