Back in depression...please help me

Guys,
When I was studying 10th standard, I had a competition with a boy.
We used to fight for first rank.
But due to my fap addiction, I scored less marks than him in the public exam.

My parents also used to compare him with me and scold, my brother also say he is better than me and almost all people say this.

I was actually very very depressed in 11th standard though he is arts stream and myself science stream and no competition between us.
But we both are in same school and whenever I see him. I get depressed and thinking whole day of that guy.

But i forgot all my tension and was feeling very happy and relaxed this lockdown.

But now, again he invited me for movie just in a friendly way.

But I feel depressed and not willing to go to movie even though my other best friends are coming.

Now, the matter is not going to movie or something…

I don’t want to get depressed again by seeing him.

(I also get depressed by almost seeing all the students in my 10th as I left that as a loser.
And I was just a comedian there and all the students only treat me as a comedian.)

So please give me some advise to leave this depression.

I am ready to hear all your advises…

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Stop being a victim of your mindset. You have your entire life ahead of you to prove to yourself that you are not supposed to be compared with anyone.

We all are individuals trying to make a mark on this planet. Dont belittle your potential by comparing with someone else.

I suggest you to go and meet your friends so that the past is buried forever and you can start afresh.

Dont let the ghosts of past haunt you and fairies of future fool you. Live in the present and own every moment of it. Good Luck!

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Accept your competitors. Improve yourself. Stop comparing. Can you compare apple with orange? Both are great at their places.

Just enjoy your life, it’s not a war, it’s about mutual co-existence.

All the best
JumpingBuddha

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Competition my foot,
Do you even know where you are living? Can you tell me your exact location in this entire Big universe? You cant even imagine how big the universe is ,
There are millions of stars galaxies , we are nothing compared to this big universe. So whats the point of competetion. I hope you can relate. We are just dust particles in this eternal universe

Only this mindset can help you

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Be strong or you will perish in this world. This world has no competition. We are not competing with others. In this world, we are always competing with our lethargy, stress and depression.

Stop being a fraudlent to yourself.

Try hard. You have entered in the game of life. Play it make a high score and win.

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But brothers, they tease me very much and sometimes I even felt that I am gonna quit that school.

They are better than me in all ways…like sports and then studies…
They are top in almost all things I wanna achieve…

And now I am studying in 12th…

Whenever I see my 10th friends and the 10th classroom…I feel a very bad vibration.

I think i am getting back my depression
Help me guys
@StealthChopperinbond
@darshanp
@nofapstar123
@JumpingBuddha

I am thinking of not at all keeping friendship or interacting with them and then starting a fresh life…
Whats your opinion?

Alright bro, listen to me. Forget the competition. Entirely! They all might be better than you at something. There’s always someone better than you remember that. If you keep putting yourself down because you are not as good as them then you’ll always feel bad about yourself. Bro this competition and comparison is stripping you away from your childhood and your youth. Enjoy life a little bro. Play outside with your friends if you enjoy it. Don’t think about career and stress over it. It will make life miserable trust me!

I’ll tell you my life story. My sister was always better than me in everything. And I mean everything that was considered useful. She bested me in studies throughout my life and in sports. She was top of her class throughout school and got 10 CGPA in 10th and 95% in 12th. I got 9.6 CGPA in 10th and only 72% in 12th. I’ve never received a medal in sports ever. She is a national gold medalist. She topped her college in engineering. I barely pass my semesters. She’s in Canada right now doing further studies and I’m here pretty much doing nothing but college and art. Believe me when I tell you, i understand how you feel. I’ve been always compared to my sister and I’m still being compared to my sister. My biggest insecurity is that Ive never made my father proud of me in a thing he values.

But you know what changed? I stopped giving a fuck! I found something that I’m good at and something that I enjoy and something in which I can be better than my sister. Art! I draw well and I come up with creative ideas to draw. My sister can’t draw worth shit😂. What I’m trying to say is, LIVE YOUR LIFE, COZ ITS YOURS AND NOT ANYONE ELSE’S.

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Dude no. Friendship is the most valuable thing you can have according to me. Think of them not as your competitors, but as genuine friends. Unless if they are shitty people then find good friends. Go for that movie. Enjoy life with them rather than compete with them to see whose better

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Best advices from you bro :+1:

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Bro, this is how the destruction begins. Don’t let this happen to you. Chill out , study for yourself, and be accountable to yourself. Only person you should compare yourself with is you.
My story was similar to yours. I understand the mentality of parents, I was not as mentally tough as you, so in 9th class, I made connections with spoilt kids. I fell prey to their talks and ultimately I became spoilt myself. I began to use abusive words in every talk, began to treat others as someone lower than me and didn’t pay much attention to studies. Result, I got less marks in highschool. When I took admission in 11th, pressure was again put upon me by my parents and relatives that I was bright and so I could handle both Maths and Biology. This made me vulnerable and I fell prey to PMO addiction. Result, I failed in 11th. This brought all the changes to my life and made me the person you see me today. Those spoilt bretherens left me completely alone, and after them even those people whom I used to call my friend from childhood. I was completely sidelined by everyone and then I had to quit Maths to focus better on studies. I passed 12th with over 80%, but I was deeply addicted to PMO by then as that was the only place for me to find some solace. I dropped for a year after 12th to prepare for AIPMT/NEET, but with only 480 numbers, I was unable to get any MBBS seat. This combined with other things, and continuous failures, embarrassment, shaming and guilt, made me severely depressed. Though I helped myself out of all of these troubles somehow, but somethings have been broken permanently. I cannot have those 3 wasted years of my life back. I cannot have that healthy brain back. I cannot be the same normal person again. My faith in humans and humanity has been eroded permanently. And at 24, I still spend all of my time sitting in my room and being a burden on my parents as my batchelors degree cannot give me a job.
I don’t want you to end up like me bro. So, screw the world. Do what you feel like doing. And you are not a comedian, so go and say this straight in the face of people who treat you as such that," I am not a comedian. Your behaviour has really hurt me. I hope you’ll never talk to me like that again, or refrain from inviting me anywhere to mock me. Because I am also only a person with emotions and feelings". Most likely, they’ll realise their mistakes and will apologise to you. And if they don’t, then you must realize that these people are not your friends. Simply walk out and find other friends, or even if you don’t don’t think much about it as its better to have no friends in your life than to have people around you who claim to be your friends but never miss a chance to hurt you. Protect your dignity bro. And if your parents shame you for being a person of lower caliber than that other guy again, then tell them that you are not a machine, you are only a human who can try his best to become a better version of yourself. Tell them that to beat him is not the only purpose of your life. You have to be someone of your own. Bro, follow your dreams and don’t pay attention to what others say or do , and stay away from people whose presence or actions may hurt you. This is what you should do, until the day you feel confident and proud about yourself. Because after that, nothing will affect you at all.
All the best, and happy new year 2021.
Take care.

Showing off is a fool’s idea of glory.

If they try to make fun of you, laugh with them and in some time you’ll see that they’ll stop doing it.

My only suggestion to you is channelize that anger, guilts whatever and aim to do achieve your goal.

You be silent and let your success make all the noise. All these small things won’t matter when you are happy from within.

May the force be with you!

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@Fearless.soul… Bro @PrDr is totally right.

Those people that mind don’t matter. Those people that matter don’t mind.

Tell those people not to make fun of you. If they don’t stop, they are not your friends… Once you know friends from negative people, you cut all connections from negative people.

Don’t give a damn about negative comments people pass. Say to them politely with a smile ’ I don’t care about your opinions’.

Also say nicely to your parents with respect that please don’t compare me. I will do my best in what I feel like.

Just chill and relax… Stay happy. Keep smiling and moving forwards

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Dear @Fearless.soul,

Believe me or not, it’s a growing trend in teenage.
You must understand that things will not be same always. It will change.

Now please listen carefully, there was a boy in my school, who was a very studious guy and always scored more than 90% marks in both 10th and 12th class but after college he indulged in similar practice as your so called “studious and perfect” friends. He was my junior in college as he dropped for preparation. More than studies he was busy with friends and other things. And guess what, he struggled throughout his college and didn’t even got college placement.

There was another boy in my class in college- a very skinny guy from Bihar. He used to stammer a lot. Many made fun of his physique and his talking. He was a hard working guy but never scored very good marks in his semesters. But I must say he was a dedicated boy. In last year of college he joined college gym and was one of the first guy to reach the mess😀. You won’t believe, within a year he was transformed into a buff. You will be surprised that now he works with one of the leading and giant IT company with handsome package.
Believe it or not these are true stories. There are so many of them.

So please understand that, bullying or making fun or teasing is not a new thing in teenage boys and girls.

You will agree with me that after 5-10 years you may not even remember their name. Life is too big to cry and get depressed.

Do not stay behind in your past. It’s already gone. Past is for learning, Present is for doing and future is for your goal. It’s consequence of your present actions.

You must focus on your career and self improvement. Next year you gonna go to college. Do good study and make your career. Work for your improvement and enjoy your life.
How would it feel to you, when you surprise them with your success?

In short-

  1. Do not pay attention to the destructive criticism. Ignore them.
    One of my favourite saying- कुत्ता भौंके हज़ार हाथी चले बाज़ार :grinning:

  2. Your future depends on your present works. Maybe you need friends but choose the right friend circle. Friends who pull you down cannot be real friends.

  3. Very very important thing- Do believe in your own worth and competence. Have self belief and self confidence. Keep in mind that people cannot treat badly to the person who have pride in themselves. Be proud of who you are.

  4. Correct the root cause and do not cry over the spilt milk. If you are comparing yourself with somebody, please consider the effort put by both of you. May be they worked harder than you to succeed. There is always a cause-effect relationship.

  5. Last but not the least, Do you think getting depressed will help you getting better? Hell No. never… So do what will help you getting better. Be happy, enjoy life, do hard work and be better.

Fight the obstacles, glory awaits you.

Best regards
JumpingBuddha

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@GOVIND-19 you wrote well,I can relate mylife upto some extenct as yours. a movie dialogue i remember, life is full of surprises and miracles :slight_smile: #diaMovie
@Fearless.soul : all people here wrote very nicely.Just follow them. don’t stress yourself more. At your age no one used to tell me like this. you are lucky man :slight_smile:

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