This is my journey of self recovery.
I created this journey to improve myself on a daily basis.First of all i don’t know actually what to write by,but my main purpose is to improve my self everyday.
Truth to be told,I fall into a loop where i shouldn’t be in the first place.It was begun when i was 11 years old and now I am 28 years old.So 18 years of addiction and I am still not able to recover from it.But I ask myself why why why.I shouldnt be like this,this is not me,myself.I tried abstain from it many times and i am doing it again.So many method i tried and succeded to abstain my self from it for many days.So My guts tell me I can do it again.
After relapsing, I felt disappointed, but I don’t want to stay stuck in that feeling.Instead of giving up, I opened a new account on rewire companion identify myself as AwakenCha.And I will counting days till I reach my every new target.This feels different because I’m trying to understand my patterns instead of only counting days.
This time I promise to myself that um not giving up to this and I will keep improving myself to be the best version of myself. This feels different because I’m trying to understand my patterns instead of only counting days.Today I learned something important about myself.My biggest danger period is from the evening until I fall asleep.Boredom is one of my biggest triggers.Sometimes I relapse without Qorn because my imagination brings back old memories.
No matter how many times I’ve had to start over since 2018[I learned about nopmo in 2018] , I’m choosing to try again today.
Things I’m grateful for:
● I didn’t give up after relapsing.
● I started this diary.
● I still believe I can recover.
Message to my future self: If you’re reading this during an urge, remember: the urge will pass, but the regret of giving in lasts much longer.
