Been a long time… Hope everyone’s doing well… Life’s been very unexplainable lately… Regardless of what the situation is… I need a full reboot of my current self effective immediately…
Made another account for the same purpose… but discourse AI silenced it unfairly… request the mods to look into it…
Until then… will continue with the same setup…
👤 Isagi Yoichi
Activity
Status
Sleep on time
Wakeup on time
| Matches Played | Matches Won |
|---|---|
 |
👤 Optimus Prime
Hitpoints: Death Counter: 0
Kill Counts
Cold Baseline Kills
100 Flash Gear Kills
0 Explosive Ammo Kills
0
Combat Performance: 10/10
Battle Clock: 4 hours
JournalThis entry will be updated tomorrow… today’s already been wasted…
Something I would wanna let out right now… We often forget some of life’s most basic lessons… lessons it has already taught us… lessons we have learned before…
Not all mental patches are alike… some paralyze… some mislead… some simply make us lose sight of our priorities… the natural order in which we approach things…
But despite their differences… I have noticed one thing…
Whenever I manage to reignite… through hook or crook… my inner child… that excitement of making progress… of taking small steps… insignificant by the world’s standards… and glorifying them in my own mind without worrying about outcomes… it has always felt liberating…
Unfortunately… the world is obsessed with results… with trajectory of your career… whether you’re getting somewhere fast… if not switch things up immediately… do things differently…
Focus becomes difficult when action is gauged so strictly against a destination instead of being appreciated for what it is…
Can’t keep expecting the world to abide by my rules… so need to dismiss and do things my own way… the way they work for me… without worrying about everyone else is saying or doing or the outcomes… just doing things for the child like rush I used to feel earlier… getting immersed and enjoying… not caring what the world so desperately cares about…
👤 Isagi Yoichi
| Matches Played | Matches Won |
|---|---|
|
👤 Optimus Prime
Hitpoints:
100 0 0
JournalReturning to first principles… Returning to Earth…
Returning to forgotten wisdom…
I once told myself that unreasonability and aggressiveness are very important tools… Because if I am not… Reality is so depressing and soul crushing that I would break down immediately… Physical health brutally nerfed, mental health concerns, peer pressure, increasing competition and rigged systems that betray honest hardworkers… It is this necessity that craziness… living in my own head… of conceiving myself anything that empowers is necessary… even if you’re absolutely falling apart from the outside… you might thrive if you’re imaginative, positive and happy from within… the mind is its own place… can make a heaven in hell…
I once wrote a Performance Model… I remember in it… I wrote if you’ve lost your ground… You must first regain psychological footing… before you get the luxury of automated momentum or flow…
So what do I need right now… a verbal anchor that acts as buffer against negative emotions and irrational fears… need a constant repetition of that otherwise mind would turn inward toward thoughts… Off the ball movement… constant… and getting at their blind spots… just enough opening to make some progress…
An extension of that anchor must also contain something that motivates me constantly… or I’d forget why I’m hustling… and start doomscrolling…
Random actions have to be reduced… They can’t be entertained as harmless… that said they can’t be ended cold turkey… so I’ll do them… but only as a reward for some progress… that delay might give me enough control to gradually end them as well…
Moreover morning is important… Can’t stress here enough… Some self care even if small is necessary… I need my baseline dopamine and sensitivity restored… no checking phone first thing in the morning, getting some exercise, shower and some sunlight… then compassionate deep work… as compassionate as it can be… and seeing how far I can go… then shift gears…
Also some of the worst drifts come when offguard and empty mind… breakfast, lunch and dinner will plug in to some motivational podcast… not TV series or youtube that further amplify drift…
In a stage where I can’t compete with anyone… If I think of it I’ll only hurt myself… Enjoy… Most important… more important than anything… more than any exam… or any furnished career… is to have fun… as much fun as you can have… screw everything else… success or failure is byproduct and I don’t care about that…
The thrill of the hunt… that’s all I should be looking for…
JournalHave been feeling lonely for quite some time… and it has affected motivation and feeling burntout…
Once said this to a friend… I want to be self sufficient and cut off this need for friends… since it creates vulnerability and dependence… which is weakness…
Although it can’t be helped admitting… Meaningful connections are always an asset… in this age of utilitarian friendships… genuine connections are scarce and difficult but if you have them… you must cherish them…
According to SDT… Relatedness is one of three basic psychological needs for sustaining high motivation and wellbeing… and mind you… it is still one of the most well supported theories in performance psychology till date…
A few points about Relatedness worth noting:
1) Relatedness is fundamentally about belonging
and mutual care, not simply being around people.
2) A person can feel lonely in a crowd if
relatedness is unmet.
3) Conversely, a person can have very few
relationships yet experience high relatedness
if those relationships are genuine and caring.
4) The need is satisfied through both receiving
and giving care and connection.
Sure there can be lone winners… exceptions are… but for almost everyone… reality is having mentors and supportive friends always help…
Having friends has been an evolutionary need as well… Staying alone was dangerous… and staying in packs strength…
This shouldn’t be confused with having lots of social validation… even one or two meaningful friends are of great help… Quality of circle matters…
People… even I fear… what if it becomes attachment… and then the person… who does not intentionally abandon but simply moves on with his life… then that would hurt… and yes it would…
That’s why consciously its important to not be over dependent on those friendships… those connections don’t have to be overly emotional but being a part of circle where you’re understood and appreciated and you do the same… is important for almost everyone…
Friendship has that risk of dependence and vulnerability… Can’t deny that… but can’t deny the life altering benefits that come with it as well…
Missing everyone who’s not on the forum… We’re like a family…
👤 Optimus Prime
Hitpoints:
200 20 0
(post deleted by author)
👤 Optimus Prime
Hitpoints:
190 0 0
👤 Optimus Prime
Hitpoints:
470 0 0
👤 Optimus Prime
Hitpoints:
280 0 0
👤 Optimus Prime
Hitpoints:
120 0 0
JournalGoal Setting: 200 kills
Alright so I think I would be losing a hitpoint after so many days of good performance…
Could not complete today’s target because of some heavy focus activity which I don’t wanna count as kills…
A lot of energy got consumed during that process…
Moreover today’s kills were difficult… concept heavy… so at this moment I feel all out of fuel…
Good thing is sleeping and waking schedule is satisfactory…
Also thanks to a record of good days… I can see finish line which is offering decent motivation…
At a stage where I need to take some small risks…
If I won’t… l would be taking bigger risks unknowingly…
Maintaining a good speed while studying and revising so need to skim unimportant, low ROI and repetitive sections…
If I spend my time there… I’d lose energy that could be spent some better place…
Moreover the most dangerous thing…
I’d lose speed…
Seeing myself progress visibly is necessary to maintain high energy… crossing lectures and chapters every now and then…
Stagnation on a topic to avoid some risk would degrade efficiency… Can’t risk that…
Environment around me keeps shifting… so life has really raised the benchmark of not expecting anything from people around…
My fragile trajectory is my own to protect…
That means getting up on time, sleeping on time, eating on time…
Staying thrilled… staying excited…
Not becoming the passenger…
Rather taking the driver’s wheel…
Deliberate and Intentional…
Let’s Go!
👤 Optimus Prime
Hitpoints:
260 0 0
👤 Optimus Prime
Hitpoints:
340 0 0
