@aprilsadmirer's Journey to Freedom

DAY 2

Well it’s been 2 days, I’ve had some urges, times of stress where my first involuntary thought was to go and find some PMO relief, and In the past I would have…but this time it was different! Because of my conviction and this app and community, I made the right choice. I found motivation from all the stories I’ve read on here and I instead got some stuff done that I had been procrastinating on. It felt like really good, I know I’m not over this but already this time is different :blush::pray:

A very special thank you to my brother @dammy8 which answered my prayers and reached out to me and is walking this out with me. His videos have been a huge inspiration to me and is the reason I have had a sudden change of mind regarding my way of life.

Id like to share a quote from the first video he sent me, the preacher said something so simple but profound:

“Does your life shine in the darkness?”

Mine didn’t or hasn’t for a long time. I was totally comfortable in the midst of darkness, even though I am a “child of light” still I was not dispelling the darkness… but now I’m starting to see a small dim flame which is growing everyday. I pray for anyone who is living in the dark, blind and not knowing it, devoid of all light and real love that they would see the Light of the world, the One whose Life shined in the darkness and it could not overcome it. (See John 1)

Thank you all for being my inspiration and motivation and my fellow laborers in this journey! WE CAN DO THIS!!!
:pray::blush::raised_hands::muscle:

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Welcome on board! :+1:

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Thanks @FlowForCourage

DAY 3

Urges are real. I’m on day 3 the urges got a bit stronger. Even still, my renewed commitment held strong and I have not relapsed yet. I’m no fool though, I know there’s always potential for one, I’m very on-guard right now. I have had that little voice inside saying “you’re so stressed, you know if you just looked youd feel better” but I knew it was a lie. I won’t feel better… I would feel awful and depressed and its simply not worth it. Today now I’m starting to feel more like myself, more connected to others, to my wife. I almost had some slip ups though. For me being a foot guy, social media is a pitfall – so much so that I’m considering cutting off all of it, especially Facebook until I get thru this and reboot. The ads on Facebook seem almost geared towards foot fetishist, seriously :roll_eyes: everywhere you look feeeeet. There’s so many comments pointing this out too. So I gotta guard my eyes on there. I have scrolled past successfully whereas before I would have PMOed most likely.

I’m still fighting, I leave you with this inspiration from scripture :slightly_smiling_face:

Now therefore, listen to me, my children;
Pay attention to the words of my mouth: Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths; For she has cast down many wounded, And all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, Descending to the chambers of death. -Proverbs 7:24-27

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DAY 5

Urges are definitely calling to me, but I refuse to even hear them! I am steadfast and determined to keep my eyes focused, my hands clean, and my heart guarded. No more secrets, no more lies. I will have nothing to do with that former darkness I once cherished! I have a new focus Christ, and a new goal, to let my life shine His glory in the midst of this dark world. I can do all things through Him :muscle:
He gives me my strength, He alone is my Rock and my refuge from this billowing waves of urges, I cast down those thoughts that try and exalt themselves above the knowledge of Christ!

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DAY 6

today is day six of my new life. I am feeling more like myself than ever before. happy life, super productive at work, getting along better with my family and feeling closer to God. I am hooked on this Freedom and I see PMO as an unappealing detour from this main highway I’m on now. that’s not too say I haven’t had strong urges, I was triggered really bad while out and about yesterday but unlike before where I would have PMOed later because of what I saw I didn’t I stopped looked away and thanked God for the strength to overcome. then I looked at my beautiful wife and the urge vanished. thank you all for being motivation to keep moving forward and not to stop and look back at my old life.

This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. - Galatians 5:16

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DAY 10

So far so good! Urges are there but breathing and discipline helps. I am still holding strong. Been focused on the things of God and others. Helping at work and getting a ton of stuff done!

I do have a quick confession, Scrolling thru Facebook I saw that one of my old crushes was a friend suggestion she was really gorgeous in high school but she never knew me :rofl: anyway I hit accept fully knowing in the back of my head that I wanted to see her photos once she accepted and then I immediately felt the grieving of the Spirit and the conviction that this is Satan’s trap to pull me back into PMO. That wicked life that wants to break free after staying quiet an do remembered I don’t want to live in the darkness any more I want my life to shine :heart: so I clicked cancel and removed the notification because I don’t want to go back. I told God I’m sorry and I found tremendous joy in overcoming what was surely meant to ensnare me.

I have realized how much I have had not been faithful in my heart to my wife and we have been so close lately so much more connected I didn’t want to lose that connection. I said to myself “no more secrets. Nothing hidden” that life that wants to cover-up was trying to show back up but I showed it some light!!

Galatians 5:16

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You took the right decision. Such decisions are going to build you brick by brick.

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