Anyone over 30 here?

Hows everybody doing ?

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Hey we are doing great…how about you.

Adding a link that contains treasure for nofap:

My Thoughts On Rebooting [EXTREMELY LONG POST] – Your Brain On ■■■■

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I’m doing good too. Read the post (more like a guidebook !!) and bookmarked it right away. It’s a perfect manual for al nofapers !!

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Completed 13 days. Having morning wood since yesterday. Heavy urges to M.

I am thinking positively about it. My excessive PMO had a very bad impact on me and I had stopped having morning wood. Or any kind of sustained wood for that matter. Close to 2 weeks of no PMO and my body seems to be returning to its old self. Hope this continues and pray I stay strong to not let PMO relapse.

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Can someone here answer to my questions, please? I am bit off today, need your real life experience,so that I can get more clarity in life.

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I posted a reply on your original post

Link to original post

Here is the copy of my response

Ok, sit down my fellow Indian bro and take a deep breath. I don’t want to sound harsh but here is a dose of reality that every Indian man needs to know. NoFap is’nt going to magically solve all those issues you have in your life. You need to work on it along with no PMO.

It’s going to be long post so keep your green tea or coffee by your side while you read this.

  1. Understand that Indian culture is a scam.

While we need to respect our parents, our focus needs to be our individual well being. If you’re on a burning plane, you can’t save anybody unless you have strapped an oxygen mask on yourself first. The elder generation does’nt understand the concept of individual freedom, so don’t pressure yourself into taking decisions based on what society thinks you ought to take.

Most of our Parents have brought us up without thinking about themselves. I don’t fault them for doing this but they now have no personal life of their own. You need to respectfully draw personal boundaries first.

You can’t be happy with a partner if you have’nt sorted out your own life first. Stop believing that a woman is going to be the magical solution to everything.
Also, there is no compulsion that one must have kids or marry a person selected by your parents. Have you explored the choice to be childfree ? And have you also explored the choice to enter into a relationship without going down the arranged marriage route ?

  1. Personal development.

You have to put effort into building your confidence. You can’t be really satisfied if you’re not living at your full potential.

Move out of your parents home. Earn enough to hire a maid or someone to take care of your parents if they can’t take care of themselves. Encourage them to do some other activities. Don’t mind whatever your samaj or parents think of you.

As long as you put personal development first, you’re doing the right thing. Start working on whatever is holding you from freely living your life.

Seek therapy. If you live in Bangalore, it’s definitely worth checking out NIMHANS or I could suggest my personal therapist who takes zoom sessions.

This is extreme hard work and it took me a long time to figure out that I had unresolved mental issues from my childhood. I spoke to a therapist and am working through my issues EVERY DAY. It’s very very very hard to push myself to actually work on myself when I have tonnes of regret and even more anxiety about my future but I do everything possible to fight it.

The only thing going for me is HOPE. I’m working hard to prepare myself for taking advantage of opportunities when they come.

  1. No PMO

Anytime you want to PMO because you don’t want to feel the regrets about your past or anxiety about your future or to even escape from the shitty present situation, stop yourself, take a deep breath and focus on whatever task that you need to be doing.

Not PMOing is like going to the gym and building your strengths through resistance training. Keeping away from triggers is like sticking to a diet plan.

The mind wants pleasure and avoid pain. Your duty during the next 90 days is to welcome the pain. The tools to help you do that would be yoga and meditation. Download headspace and join the reddit meditation group. Meditation helps you to observe the pain as a third person and instead of identifying as the experiencer, you’ll be able to face the pain and strengthen your resistance to pain as well !!

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All is good my friend! I keep going. No matter what.
I wish you to have a great day!

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Realized I was spending too much time on my phone browsing fb, insta, pinterest. Had a brief talk with my wife yesterday and she expressedher disappointment in me spending more time on phone than with family :pensive:. Uninstalled these apps first thing today. Hope this increases my productivity, improves my family life and decreases my distractions.

There are a few more apps that I spend time on. But cant uninstall them as they have benefits as well. Will try to see how best can I get out of this phone addiction.

PMO should have been PPMO, including phone. That would make the evil set complete.

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Hello warriors !! Hows it going ? If you feel like the goings getting tougher or that you need somebody to lend an ear to your ups or downs in life, please don’t hesitate to post here.

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Hi guys. I wasnt here long time and now I found this topic. And as I need help or kind words or something, I give it a try.

This year I turned 30 (recently). I had many things on, workout, fasting, nofap, etc. I was happy and wasnt bothered by anthing, there was lockdown which worked for me as I didnt have to work on or stress about my other fears - lack of selflove, comparing with others, lack of friends (I have very very few and all of them have GFs etc, so I am only one alone and plenty of people around me are getting to relationships), anxiety of being alone, not having enough social contact, dreaming about getting GF or at least find some friends and possible female friends too, but GF is ultimate and lastly loneliness. Then after 6 months of not bothering by anything of that and going flat out I lost some weight, gained muscles etc, which was perfect, but I get covid. Which was good thing as the way I was working was not sustainable for long, so it made me stop (I figured it out retrospectively). And since my recovery, which is almost 2 monts already, I am strugling to get back and as bonus as lockdown here is gone additionaly I got anxiety of all my fears, which I described before. Last week or so every day I get up with anxiety of being alone, thinking about future amd how lonely it will be. And its killing me. My first thought at the morning and it is that. I mean WHY. IDK what to do, I am trying to not thinking about it and meditate and write it down every morning but it doesnt help much. I am always thinking about something when I am alone, my back hurts so I even cant workout now. I lost energy to do anything, not even my hobbies are not enthusiastic enough. I thought that flatline and not have much energy is bad. On the contrary, this is worse, much worse. I somehow managed to get ove 120 days, idk exact number as I dont want to, but this is one thing which left me all others are almost gone. Daily meditation, peace, workout … Gone. I dont want to be negative, I would like to find some light at the end, but for now I am feeling lost.

Anyway, thanks for your time, if you have any feedback or adwice or hind or anything, I will be glad for that. I know its not much helpful, but I kinda needed to get it out and this striked me as a good topic.

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So, after a long time I had sex with my wife. I have never ever climaxed during sex. I had to always resort to masturbation so that I could ejaculate.

This time was not entirely different but there were massive massive improvements.

  1. I got a hard on without external triggers like porn.
  2. I was able to naturally retain my hard on till the end. Earlier, I was resorting to cock ring to keep me hard, but not this time.
  3. As always, my wife climaxed first. But it took just about a minute extra for me to climax. This is a major reduction in time. Earlier, i used to take 10-15 minutes even after sex to ejaculate.

My wife noticed this and asked me how come I came so fast compared to earlier? I convinced her with some story but the real reason is no fap, no PMO.

I had sex 15 days 22.5 hours after I last masturbated. And strictly no PMO during this period. Plus I have started eating healthy and working out. Have reduced about 5 kgs (11 lbs) till now. All this added to an improved sexual performance. I cant wait for the day I will orgasm during sex.

What I thought as impossible just 2 weeks ago seems to be happening. Cant be more reassuring than this that no PMO helps.

And sincere thanks to the rewire community for its support and guidance during this journey.

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Dobrý deň bro

First of, take a deep breath and tell yourself that it’s ok.
Failures and setbacks are a part of our life and I’ve yet to find anybody who is always winning. The key to surviving this situation is to tell yourself that - Tough People last but tough times don’t.

Getting a girlfriend or good friends is not difficult. The internet and online dating apps have made it really easy to meet and make new connections (I literally got matches on Bumble and Tinder even with a half ass bio.) What is difficult is keeping them. Your perseverance, positive attitude, compassion and kindness is what helps you keep them. You can’t have any of those qualities unless you practice them on yourself during tough times.

You have just recovered from Covid and expect your body to be battle ready in a short span of 2 months !! I had the dengue virus in 2018 and it took me (I am pretty fit) a good 6 months for even my joint pain to go away !! Unless you give yourself time, space and the love required for your body and mind to heal, you will always be worried and anxious.

You already have 120 days of NoFap. Don’t ruin it because of some stupid flatline. Viral infections take insane amount of time to heal. Flatlines are normal when your body is recovering. In fact the more anxious you get, the more time it will take for you to recover and stress is a big libido killer.

Don’t give up on your NoFap, exercise, meditation, fasting and other routines. Don’t allow your mind to run away from hard work. Few months from now when the lockdown is lifted, you’ll be mentally and physically tougher and stronger, because you continued working out, ate healthy, meditated and did not PMO. This confidence will really attract women and people in your life.

Remember - If you have time to worry, be sad or cry then you definitely have time to focus and work on yourself.

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Congratulations bro !! It’s motivating to know that your rebooting and rewiring efforts are showing results !!

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Hows it going people ? 2 weeks since I started this post and would love to know how you guys are holding up !! It does’nt matter even if you failed as long as you can share the reasons for the failure and your action plan to overcome it.
Obviously, if you’ve had a successful week, do share your experience as well.

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Lockdown blues anybody ?

Major blues. When will this end :sob:

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I relapsed guys…really feeling very sad

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I am sorry to hear that. But you need to be strong. I personally relapsed plenty of times and for now I have my strongest streak, but it took time, so dont stress about that much. Keep going. But you should reflect what made you to relapse and try to avoid that or at least minimalise its effect on you in future :slight_smile:

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Hi! 253 days here and fighting some urges, not to P but M. It’s natural. Keep fighting!

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Age=18
Highest streak=45
Current streak=45
Location=ind
Sharing code=o6qcft