I liken it to Jekyll and Hyde.
When your awake your fine. But on an evening; Phone is away, for me because of this, I dont have a problem with porn. I dont have the energy to look at porn at this time of night anyway.
Midway through the night, I’ll wake up and masturbate (sorry to go into detail but its easy for me to do since I hump)
Now, please understand that Im tired at this point and I have almost no response to stop myself from doing it
(No voice saying to stop) only unless I fully wake up.
Come to morning and sometimes I’ll even forget that I did that but I might find my pj’s down.
Then im annoyed because i hate doing it but i have almost no control in the middle of the night.
One thing ive done to prevent it is to tie up my Pj’s so its harder to untie in the night. Hopefully thereby stopping me or waking me up to stop.
Ive stopped viewing porn altogether and im hoping all this stuff will stop too after a couple weeks off porn.
I think its your subconscious. Its the real self without inhibition. The repeated pmo really has this deep effect inside. My experience is when in the early streak to stop pmo by hard mode. Its quite difficult cause you don’t want to fall and relapse but inside, you still loving that. Maybe time will heal or if you can actively instill into your core self that you Really hate to be an addict. My experience is the passive one. The active one you need a strong resolution which comes from anything religion wisdom or just deep hate to pmo. That’s quite rare to find from addicts.
I am a very religious person and resolve to never PMO.
I hate relapsing and now its becoming more of a nuisance. I want to stop but i feel i have bo control in the middle of the night.
I know what I have to do now. Thanks for replying back I really appreciate it.
Focus on mastering your problem when you are awake, don’t beat yourself up for what is happening when you are asleep or half asleep and I think it will eventually resolve itself. At night we process what is on our mind. The more you worry about what happens during the night before you sleep the more apt it will continue. Try imaging something relaxing before you go to sleep. Create that positive image in your mind using all of your senses. In that relaxed mode imagine what you see, smell, hear, and feel. Breathe deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth. See if that makes a difference. It may take time and practice. Good luck.
I really appreciate it.