On the very night I was celebrating 30 days of my first ever NoFap try (without any relapses), feeling so so strong… I dreamt I had porn DVDs in my hand (old media, I know).
And the thing is, in the dream I considered it, but didn’t PMO in it. It was not a wet dream either. But just for considering watching those DVDs I felt like I had relapsed already. The good news is that I didn’t right? But somehow I felt likeI did.
The interesting part is that my brain created the indream situation to give me the opportunity to relapse, to tempt me. And at the same time my brain made me feel guilty WITHOUT PMOing at all!
The very illusion had its autonomy to cancel itself! Before anything actually happened in the dream!
Now, what in the might hell does that mean? I’m not sure. But it seems that even though a part of me tempted me uncounciously, another protected me uncounciously.
And the thing about the uncouncient mind is that your councient choose each thought to nurture. Do you see both parts within you? Each one are you going to feed, to help become stronger and more dominant?
Who is Stronger? Your decision or your urge?