Hey guys and girls, fellow fighters and Travellers on this far too less traveled road!
First of all, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for participating not only in this journey itself, but also passively or actively in this community. One of the main issues with our addiction is that most people still don’t take it seriously, that its not part of the public discourse. You change that fact step by step, and for that I’m thankful!
Short introduction : I’m a 23 year old student from Germany, and this was part of my life for most of my teen years . My earliest memories of escaping reality by fapping go as far back as age 12 or 13, and what started as something nice once a week soon became a main part of my daily routine. It started with magazines, went on to Porn, more extreme Porn and eventually pretty unhealthy contact to other people on the Internet. I don’t believe in triggers, since you can’t escape them in the times we are living in, but I respect your opinions on this matter so I won’t go into detail. Ask if it matters to you. Anyways, I’d say you could call it an addiction since I was about 15 or 16 - but my memories from those years are somehow mashed together, difficult to separate, you know? I only noticed this years later when I was clean for half a year or so by accident. Best 6 to 8 months of my life. But things changed, and I wasn’t aware of the range of influence this addiction had. Maybe it didn’t back then, still unsure about that. But things went south again and I didn’t even notice.
Well, I became aware of this problem again when I was 2 years into the relationship I still have right now, when some problems became more and more serious and life changing for both me and my girlfriend. First I thought I was addicted to Sex, then I realized Pmo was the problem, or to be more precise, PMO stopped me from dealing with the actual problems that stopped me from being happy. Stopping PMO meant being confronted with some shitty parts of my life, made me unhappy and that led back to PMO. You guys know the drill…
Since then 3 more years passed and I am still struggling. I’m still on my way, and I already passed through good and bad times. I’m new to this community but have a lot of thoughts concerning the matter, since actually all I did the last few years is analyzing this shit.
Let me tell you, analyzing doesn’t help, at least It didn’t for me. It made it actually worse, since I stopped taking actions and rather think about it too much. Thinking and self reflection should be the starting point, but the ultimate way to go is through actions, small steps in the right direction.
Still, maybe I can help some of you with my ideas and thoughts, maybe some of you can use those as a starting point and continue after that. If you beg to differ with any states opinions, tell me. Let’s make this a healthy discussion and support each other!
Thanks for reading so far, I’m aware that you heard stuff like this a lot probably. See you around, and stay strong!