I am starting this journey to be free of the captivity of Akalmrityu, to develop control on my senses and become the person I desired to.
I want to move away from this sadness pain and a start a journey of everlasting happiness.I have many goals in my life I will achieve them one by one and I will record my journey in my online diary.
Sharing code: gg17za
Try this video brother, this may help you. Though 4th step out of the five steps is not advisable if you want to quit M* too. But rest of the techniques are really helpful.
I am currently busy in my exams and all other things. So it’s a little tough for me to update my journal daily. But it’s not going to stop me from letting out my words.
Week 1(Day 1-7): I started my journey with all kind of hopes to change. But the beginning days remained kind of sluggish. In this period, I just paused on life and started to observe things which I will put under the observation bracket. I had to attend an anniversary function of my relative, which ofcourse didn’t turn that much enjoyable due to lack of energy.
After getting over these days, my energy returned gradually. And to be honest, it’s still returning. It will take few more days to be in normal power. My studies also got hampered due to low energy. I have started them with slow pace keeping in mind the upcoming exams. I started exercise just in the last day of week 1. Now, coming upto the observations.
- Due to my lack in every aspect of life, I have become a taunting subject for everyone. I don’t wanna remain the same and shut their foul mouth.
- Life has it’s own way to teach things. Accept them and move on.
P.S- Till exams are going on, I will post my journal weekly.
Ok, so relapsed. Not wanna talk much about that. Because talking isn’t going to solve any problem. I have already started my fight again. It’s now near about 1 day 20 hours.
I have identified few points where I am losing my control.
Sleepy Urge (In afternoon)
Loophole urge (when finding any loophole on my blockers)
Boredom urge (when am not having any work)
I have too identified the ways to coordinate with it.
Visiting the nearby Shiv Temple whenever possible.
Taking up new challanges.
Give myself small rewards.
Let’s hope for the best. Beginning fight again.
What can be more worse than this to begin the day! Woke up due to mosquito bites at 4:30 am. That bloody thing sucked my blood all night. Common dear mosquito am already lacking in blood by masturbation effects, why you create extra problems?
After waking up so early in the morning I thought that I will study the whole day and complete most of my targeted goals till 10:30 am , after waking I felt very dizzy and unstable,so it’s not that I deliberately didn’t study , I tried to but I failed in keeping concentration.
I took a bath near about at 12 pm.The hot showers are gradually turning to cold showers due to upcoming summer season.
After that I had my lunch and got entertained by the television for 3/4 hrs.
I worked out a little(2.5 km jogging).
After workout my muscles became sore and I became too much tired for the whole evening I was just on my bed doing nothing, though I completed a chapter of my goal.
From today onwards I am trying to sleep early.
- Woke up at- 8am
- Healthy breakfast
- Morning study- 1hr
- Lunch(eating normal food due to digestive issues)
- Afternoon study- 0 hrs
- Workout- 3.5 km
- Evening study- 0 hrs
- Early sleep
Total ph usage- 4.5 hrs
Total study hours- 1 hr
Calories burned- 217 kcal
Thoughts and Observations :
I have always been a subject of mockery and ill-treatment all my school life,I have always been considered weak and unambitious.I want to create a change but not for the people who rejected even my presence, though they will serve as a motivation for me throughout the journey . I want to change for myself and prove that side of me wrong which says “You can’t do it”. So it’s a battle of Me vs Me.
Sharing code : gg17za
Ok,so I relapsed again.Again am not going to talk much about it.I have started the fight again, it’s now 1 day 20 hours.I will be taking up new challenges this time and start a new beginning.
Lets hope for the best.