Hi, I am ai. I discovered nofap only recently. I was looking for a way to quit my addiction to masturbation. In a sense I wanted to purify myself. I am not really addicted to the usual porn, but to something else. I don’t know if you are familiar with “Alter”? It is an alternate universe, an alternate reality, or a community in twitter, of men who masturbate together online through group video calls, through skype or whatever platform. Straight men, Gay men, curious men, men who just trip with other men.
Before discovering alter, I masturbate alone, while watching porn, but I got bored. For me, it was difficult to talk with women. So I was looking for some sort of excitement.
It started with omegle, when I got a chance to talk with a guy suddenly inviting me to fap with him. I did not, I felt awkward, but then he gave me a link to a chat room where dozens of men were masturbating live, without their faces of course, cam only upto below the jaw. It was when I developed the addiction.
Almost every night I visited these chat rooms to masturbate anonymously, and sometimes someone would chat me and invite me on a one on one session. I’d agree. Then after months of doing that I got bored, so I went full disclosure with some alter mates and do one on one, with showing face. To be honest I have had the best orgasms doing these sessions. I guess that was how the addiction skyrocketed.
And so the day came when one guy I was constantly doing face to face with invited me to a live session. I was a bit drunk so I agreed. We went to a motel and fucked. After that, I couldn’t believe what I just did.
It took about two years of fapping with other men online until I finally gave in to have sex with a guy. I define myself as straight, and him too, and we agreed it was pure lust. We both have girlfriends but, well I do not know anymore.
In those two years of fapping online I also struggled to find a way to quit. So now I am here, hoping to purify my self, and be back to the man I used to be.
I am also looking for a friend to help me get through this journey.