After 170 days of no PMO, I have relapsed

Aghhhhh, I don’t even know where to begin. I just had a full, complete undeniable reset of my streak. I didn’t plan on masturbating today, it just sort of happened, y’know? I had some urges, spent a little too much time thinking on them, got a little to horny and my subconscious just eased my into doing the deed I guess. I don’t feel as terrible about it as I thought I would, I’m a little tired, my dick hurts, my brain is a tad bit foggy. But it’s not like it’s nearly as bad as it used to be, I mean this is as much of a reboot as you can get. I mean think back to your first orgasm, it wasn’t all that bad, right? But more than anything I guess I’m a little ashamed of myself, I didn’t want it to end this way. Unfortunately I haven’t had sex this entire time, I’m sure it would have been fun to end it there. Was the relapse worth it? Probably not, I wouldn’t have kept crawling back here all those times when I was fapping 3 times a day and still had the ludacris audacity to claim that i was doing nofap.

I wish I spent that time doing something else. I’m glad that I don’t feel like complete shit now after fapping like I used to, I guess that’s the beauty of the reboot. Honestly this might have been healthy for the future, I have it reaffirmed in my mind that overall I just dislike porn and fapping, and that lust crazed state we get into is strange, temporary, and a waste of time.

Whelp, there’s no foundation more rock solid than rock bottom. Truth be told I was slipping for a while there, doing whatever it took just to hang on without actually breaking the rules of nofap. I have come out of this with an incredible amount of knowledge gained and I know I can have the smoothest streak from here. I don’t want to lie to myself anymore, I dont want to be so pathetic, I don’t want any more regrets.

If you actually read this then feel free to ask me anything, I just felt like collecting my thoughts somewhere.

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So, Did you feed your Urges ?
Over How many days were you inclined towards PMO before relapse ?
Or was it a lust from the real world… like you were watching women with lust & that adds up to the relapse. !

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what was your strategy to reach 170 days? which methods worked for you and which didn’t?
what would you do differently ?

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. We can all learn from it.

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Im at day 150+ I can tell you being busy filling that time you would have otherwise been likely to wank solves most of the problem.

Now im mad, I lost about 10 years of opportunity because I was complacent (a result of masterbaiting). Thats really the biggest thing keeping me off of it. Time wasted. I could be doing more, and I am!

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At some point in your streak, did you feel a decrease in the number of urgues? If so, from what day? Or you always feel the same number of urgues?

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@tmeidan93

Look at this man he masturbated on 170th day.
It gives you the answer to your erectile dyfunction problem.
The penis is never dead.
You can return to fucking whenever you want.
Thanks.

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I’m so sorry about the late replies everyone, let me take the time to answer some questions.

@Resurrection
Sort of, feeding the urges is what causes all kinds of relapses. Probably around day 120 I started to ease my way into bad, tempting territory that fed my urges pretty strongly. I made a post about this at least a month ago, but I sort of got caught in porn substitutes, which were a number of things, the most prominent being erotic literature. As stupid as it sounds I guess I got so tired of being abstinent that the one side lustful of your brain that’s incredibly hard to control made a bargain. It’s literally not porn, I didn’t even graze my dick when it happened, and it wouldn’t have sent me to orgasm so why not? But the issue was that like you said, it slowly but surely allows the urges to grow. I was at the point where no PMO was second nature to me, I had built up a mental wall that was incredibly strong. But I guess the issue was that after so long I forgot about all the reasoning I had to keep going, and when the only thing keeping me from fapping was virtually just instinct and the habit I formed of avoiding PMO at all costs, the wall could be chipped away. I only ever looked at it around twice a week, knowing that it was an issue. Honestly, I can’t even remember what happened but I guess 3 or 4 days before the relapse I stumbled upon ecchi again, as cringe as it sounds this used to be an issue for me. Still technically not porn, I indulged a bit until I clicked off, realized what I was doing and took a nice cold shower, but the damage had already been done and the mental wall had a hole in it. A few days later, and I have no fucking idea how I managed this but I ended up looking at full on hentai, feeding my urges too much and eventually just pathetically giving up.

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@neveragaintw

This is a great question, there were plenty of things that I did that helped immensely. I think to succeed in nofap for starters you need a solid foundation, as well as something specific to happen to give you the drive to succeed. I started nofap a little over an entire year ago and like I said in the OP, most of the time I was still fapping 3 times a day. The funny thing is this 170 day streak, which is longer and more successful than most people ever achieve is also the first time I had ever gone over 6 days without fapping since starting nofap. I remember what gave me push I needed was a day when I went out with two friends to meet these 2 girls, everybody else hit it off and I had never third wheeled so fucking hard in my life. It sounds pretty cringe, but I just wanted to be popular with girls and I honestly thought I could achieve it if I was successful in nofap.

A big reason I had never had more than a week-long streak beforehand was mostly that of the foundation I was trying to build my streaks on, you will never find success by doing anything other than going full on cold-turkey. Drill it into your mind that porn is a relapse and edging is a relapse, unlike all the times before when I would waste hours a day watching far more porn than usual and edging until I inevitably fail, thinking that as long as I don’t orgasm it’s fine

Make sure you delete every single sexy, tempting picture you have from your phone or computer, and make it so impossible for yourself to look at porn that eventually your future self gives up trying to feed the urges because of just how impossible you made it for yourself. I remember being so fucking determined not to fail that I deleted absolutely every rare, beloved image or video or nude photos I’ve been sent off my phone, deleted my instagram, and put website blockers and adult site filters on my phone and PC. I literally deleted internet explorer, disabled microsoft edge, used my site blocker to block every website I had off the top of my head that I thought would ever be even slightly tempting. Even more extreme, I put an impossible to remember password on the site blocker, edited the fucking google chrome policies to make it so that I couldn’t enter the extensions page, couldn’t enter incognito mode, and couldn’t turn off safe search. This helped me an incredible amount.

Another mistake I think people make is them trying to promise themselves that they will absolutely never PM again in their lives, which just isn’t realistic. Do you have any idea how terrible that feels to an addicted brain? Going 0 to 100 like that just isn’t something you brain will allow, you will tell yourself that “Oh, well I only have a 2 day streak going, so since I’m so close to the starting line I’ll fap one more time and then stop permanently for good! Since I told myself that I will never PM again anyway…” Instead of this, just give yourself a goal of 90 days, and tell yourself that after that you can binge as much as you want. Whether you actually do binge after a successful 90 days is up to you, but I promise you this is what carried me through those first 30 days. Every time you have an urge just remind yourself how within reach your goal is, which will cause the urge to either subside or be far more manageable. Your brain will try and trick and twist your thoughts and bargain and do whatever it can to get to you bust a nut, so your conscious self needs to bargain for a reason to keep the streak going.

There are plenty of methods that work to let urges subside, cold showers and pushups until failure genuinely work great, but it just isn’t practical. The last thing you will think of doing while having urges is doing something as uncomfortable as a cold shower or pushups, I feel like those work best in the mornings or whenever you don’t have an urge to prevent them for the next couple of hours. Something that I remember working well is music. I think everyone has atleast one song that takes them back to a good moment in their lives. A time when the song was playing while you accomplished something really amazing, or a time when you were a better person, or were having a fantastic time. Playing those songs that bring you back to those times get you fucking hyped up or happy and allow you to really take a close look at your actions. Look into your Spotify or itunes or whatever, find a song that is strung up with your memories in a positive way.

Honestly it was smooth sailing for me for the most part after the 40 day mark, they say that habits build up after 27 days of repeated actions, I literally built up a habit of avoiding porn, anytime a tempting image was put in my face I shunned away from it immediately, my downfall was this reflex becoming weaker, my willpower fading and not staying active in the nofap community any longer. I’m sure there are hundreds of other reasons I made it as far as I did but I can’t currently remember them, but enjoy these for now.

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You write too much… you should talk to the point. :smile:

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@adequatemonty

No problem, thanks for reading my ramblings.

@tdavis

I wouldn’t say it’s as linear as that but yeah, the urges really do come when you are bored or have nothing you feel like doing. I couldn’t agree with you more about the time issue though, I mean I could have been doing literally anything else, I have so much more time on my hands now, especially since I just got the porn substitutes out of the picture.

@srubio

Honestly it’s a little hard to remember, I recall everything getting far easier after the 10th day, and then after the 40th day, as if they are checkpoints. I think it was after the 10th day my foundation was built and I could deal with the urges, my drive and willpower to not fail like all the other times was stronger than ever. After the 40th day is when my brain started to decrease the amount of urges I think, nofap was starting to become second nature and with my website blockers in place there wasn’t much room left for failure.

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Thanks a lot for your detailed answer. It helped a lot!
It gave me some new ideas and determination to achieve the same.

Thanks and keep going :muscle:t3:

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Reading your post, I understand you read manga. This has been a big issue for me. Can you suggest some ways to quit this habit. After starting nofap, I gradually weaned of the ecchi stuff. But I still a lot of manga of other genres which ends up wasting my time. How did you tackle it?

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Wow man, this is EXACTLY how I’ve been feeling for the last week. I am only on day 61, but NoGap has also become normal for me and I realise I forgot why I was doing this. This caused me to watch alternatives for porn, not being relapses but leading slowly towards it.
This afternoon, I was deeply depressed, I had had a horrible day, slept bad for the last few nights. So I went and watched hot anime girls for something like 2 hours. Not a relapse, no porn, but still really bad. I can feel the damage in my mind.
Ok man, I know I’m on the wrong slope leading to relapse. But I’m not dead yet. What can I do? If you could come back to before you relapsed, what would you have done to prevent it? I have just started meditation but my spirit is not strong enough yet to master these incredibly strong urges I get sometimes.
What is your advice? What should I do?
I’m so grateful for all your help man :+1:
83d24b

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Go outside .pray,invoke in yourself the power of your great forbears. They were fierce warriors. Do not let them down. You are a Frenchman a gaul not a slave. Good luck!

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@Abhi93

I don’t think I’m the right person to ask here since I personally still read manga. What makes it such a big issue that you need to get off of it? I personally don’t read it too often, maybe 2 or 3 hours in an entire week, while there are 24 hours in a day. It isn’t an obsession of mine, it doesn’t have a negative side effect on my physical or mental well being like porn and masturbation does, so I personally have never felt the need to stop. If you still have plenty of time to be diligent and do the things that need to be done then there isn’t much of an issue. Life is meant to be enjoyed, I can’t see general, clean manga as anything other than harmless entertainment.

@pierretomas18

I can’t exactly give you a clear-cut, black and white answer here. Everyone has varying levels of attraction to unrealistic, 2D depictions of girls and some can get more addicted to it than others. It’s not like I never looked at anything that could be classified as ecchi during my streak, it’s just that I never really went looking for it during that time. I only ever saw it on random sites, or in the casual fan service scenes some anime like to put out while I was watching the actual show. I would never really stop and stare at it, never letting it become more than a distant admiration. If you find yourself going to sites specifically dedicated to ecchi or really sexy pics of any kind, recognize that the only reason you are there is that you want to feed your urges. Take my advice in the really long post above, get a site blocker and throw away the key. If it’s causing your lust to grow or you are being drawn to it for lust associated reasons, just remove your access to it.

Realize that you can never, under any circumstance fully trust your brain and your consciousness, my issue is that for whatever reason, in a moment of weakness my resolve just went away. I thought I could handle myself indulging for a bit, as a reward for making it so long, but if you give a bottle of liquour to an ex-alcoholic and put it to his lips what is he going to do? Sure he isn’t addicted anymore, but if the rim of the bottle is on his lips he might as well take a sip, then a swig, then he’ll down the bottle thinking that it’s fine. He’ll get the next bottle, and the next until he’s completely hammered and only then he’ll realize what he’s doing.

For the first 30 days or so in my streak I went the hardest of hard mode, blocking off instagram and actually training myself to freak out at the slightest glimpse of something that could possibly be tempting. This worked wonders in giving myself a rock solid foundation to build my streak upon, but I wouldn’t continue that for more than 30 days. You don’t want to train yourself to be a cuck, or to freak out every time you look at a sexy pic for the rest of your life, but at the same time, it’s imperative that you never allow yourself to indulge in it. Just a glance, nothing more. Never go to a site dedicated strictly to showcasing tempting images, just do yourself a favor and block off your access.

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Hi thanks for all the advice and also for creating this forum. I just want to ask how dit you feel was there any benefits? And when did you start feeling it if there was any?. Never made past 14days so I’m really interested in how it was going so far without relapsing.

So much for an helpful community.

Thanks for your writigs, it really helped a lot. I can see where your coming from and Ill be applying it.
@aaron.freeman41 if you could please reply to john Cena , please and thank you.

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Thanks. I guess they really Cant see Me😂

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