Itās been a while I thought I should stop being a loser. But every single time for me it takes lot of courage to speak out here and feel ashamed of admitting that I am failing everyday. Even when I know what should I do.
I donāt know whether itās an excuse or something else but I always need someone to talk to or having a support or a partner either for any of my hobbies. If someone wasnāt there I feel like Its impossible to get into my habit for long term.
I have a lot of books 
to read. But donāt have time.
I have Dumbbell 10kgs set but not have enough energy to lift it up tried many times. I have resistance band to workout.
But consistency is an issue either in workout or being clean for longer days without relapse in doing masturbation.
I want to declutter things from my room but whenever I have off day I always have some other work to do. Either grocery shopping or some pending task in parents list. And when I get back home I feel like I should sleep because itās my day off.
Sometimes I watch webseries to have entertainment, or talk to my fiancƩe (most of the time goes there, worthless conversation).
Donāt understand how I can make my life better without hurting anyone.
Honestly I need my āMee Timeā. But itās very hard to ask others to give me some space to have peace of mind.
Hope next week will be better
After a long time I stared work out at home. I know I have to be consistent. But thatās the issue I need something which gives me motivation or some spark every day which arises my aggressive nature which helps me to boost my mood to workout.
Today I was listening 
a song 
This song is sad but touches to my heart from deep bottom.
Later that aggressive nature arises and I started working out.
But timing was wrong at the time of dinner I started working out. 
I appreciate your valuable time to read my dairy 
Last month I am not at all active on this platform
Reason behind that is recently I got Married 
Since then I didnāt relapsed or no peeking, no wrong thoughts 
.
Just spending time with my wife and household chores.
I hope everything will work great 
I will visit again this forum when I will be free & have time. Thank you
oh wow! Thatās great! Congratulations 
wish yāall a blessed married life
Thankyou @debellator I hope everyone have happy life 
everyone can hope for the best but happy life is rare for most of the people. I hope you & your friends willget married soon
NEED HELP
1 month ago, I went to clinic with my wife because of swelling in her feet (not going after a day) she had blood test, doctor said she have low hemoglobin 5.0 &it should be under 12 -15. We went to hospital for blood. Doctor did checkup whole body. & Said that her kidneys both got shrink to 5cms. & Need to do dialysis for temporary purpose for permanent we have to do kidney transplant.
month.
In a week 2 times dialysis going on.
Itās been 4 months of my marriage, I got to know this bad news from doctor in the month of March. I stopped going to job as she got admitted in ICU. Later after Catheter implant they discharged her for dialysis weekly twice.
For permanent dialysis AV fistula surgery done, but because of her small artries and veins. Fistula got failed and she got pain severely at night till morning. We went hospitals for her treatment for pain.
Now there is only one way she can live. Kidney transplant.
Honestly speaking I donāt have job to help her financially.
If anyone can help kindly dm me I will give details. 
Hope she gets better broā¦god will help u 
